America Is Winning The War! (On Science)

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The good news is that our country has a brand new science journal. The bad news is it’s utterly retarded. The The Institute for Creationism Graduate School is soliciting your scientificish papers.

For those not familiar with creationists – they believe the Earth is only a few thousand years old (Bible stuff) and that anything obviously older than the creation myth allows for – like dinosaur fossils – have been put there like Easter eggs by Jesus to test their faith. Some notable creationists include baseball player Carl Everett and people who lived during the dark ages.

Science journals have long utilized “peer review” on new ideas. CNET dryly points out:

Peer review, in which a scientist's paper is scrutinized by a group of colleagues, is designed to find errors and weed out half-baked ideas.

I admit I am absolutely fascinated. I’ll read everything they publish. It will be better and more fantastical than Harry Potter. What is the criteria for determining how much pretending is simply just too much in a creationist paper? A message from the institute’s president reads in part:

We see the wrong thinking of evolution having produced devastating results in every realm.

Now, I feel fucking stupid. What the hell is he writing about? The destruction of the Shire? Continuing with another direct cut-and-paste from their website:

The Institute for Creation research Graduate School exists to train students in scientific research and teaching skills, preparing effective warriors for the faith.

Sweet. There is a definite shortage of warriors all hopped up on faith. Nowhere in the message is science even mentioned by the way, and note the lowercase “r” (research optional!) in the school's title. It’s not enough to not believe in something like evolution – the aim is to create “educators” to spread the word.

Try as he might, Ed Gein - the infamous murderer and necrophiliac wasn’t transformed into a pretty lady just because he wore the skinned face of one...and creationism won’t be won’t be any more true when its parading around in a freshly tailored suit made from science’s hide.

I would say ‘Hey, no harm in creationism trying!’ except I think there is. Kids tend to learn what they're taught. Idiocracy is just around the corner.

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