Guntards Hate Bloomberg

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Sweet Virginia, you’re always there for me when I need a moronic story. This time gun loving Virginians are hopping mad at New York City Mayor and raging hippie, Michael Bloomberg. The mayor has filed a lawsuit against 27 out-of-state gun dealers for selling firearms illegally to undercover private investigators who were working for NYC. Bloomberg wants to force the 27 gun dealers from Georgia, Ohio, Pennsylvania, South Carolina and Virginia to allow monitoring of sales. But Virginia is striking back, like a retard throwing a haymaker.

The Virginia Citizens Defense League came up with the idea of a “Bloomberg Gun Give Away.” It is fucking brilliant. Customers who spend $100 are eligible to win a handgun or a rifle in a raffle that will be held on April 19. The winner will receive a handgun or a rifle worth around $900. Two stores are partaking in this example of swift and brutal Virginia vengeance.

"The truth is, if Bloomberg hadn't picked on Virginia, we wouldn't have gotten involved. But he made the mistake of stepping into Virginia with this," said Philip Van Cleave, president the Virginia Citizens Defense League.

Well, consider him beaten. On one side, Bloomberg filed a lawsuit that caused two Virginia gun dealers to go out of business due to legal fees and two others to settle and agree to the court monitoring. And on the other side, the tough-as-nails Virginians started a raffle. Game, set, and match.

You have to feel for the Virginian gun dealers. All they were doing was illegally selling guns. According to private investigators running the sting, one person would fill out legal forms in order to buy a gun for another person – who was not legally allowed to own a firearm. But now they are being punished for selling guns to people who could have been felons. Typical big city bullshit.

Bloomberg took aim at the out of state dealers because 90% of guns used in crimes in New York City come from out of state. But Virginia gun dealers see it from another point of view.

"The best way to get guns off the street and criminals off the street is to lock 'em up," Hill said. "They seem to want to pick on an old stereotype: It's so easy to get a gun in Virginia and run it up to New York. When quite honestly, you can break into a house anywhere and get anything you like."

So, let me see if I can get this straight: We should all have guns to protect us because someone might break into our house to take our guns. Gotcha.

At Bob Moates Sport Shop there are pictures of Bloomberg, Sarah Brady of the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence and Wisconsin Governor Jim Doyle taped to a shotgun rack. Bloomberg’s face is circled in pink. "Here are our worst enemy" is written below. Which is confusing, because either “enemy” should be plural or “are” should be replaced with “is,” unless of course the store is just looking to maintain that “Virginia mountain feel.”

Either way, the raffle is a success. One “longtime customer” claimed he had earned “six or seven” tickets and will probably buy more just to get back at mayor Bloomberg. Sadly, he will not get back at mayor Bloomberg because he is already a legal gun owner, which would mean the gun transfer would be legal. That is exactly what Bloomberg wants. The only way he could really get even with Bloomberg would be to give the gun to a felon and hope the criminal would kill a child on the streets of Brooklyn. Then he could yell a big and victorious, “Gotcha.”

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