The W President’s Day Jamboree!

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Happy President’s Day, you soft alt-porn loving freaks! What better way to celebrate President’s Day than to get to know George W. Bush a little better? There’s tons of stuff you probably didn’t know, from the fact that W. wants to ass-fuck an Arab to the strong possibility that he’s the anti-Christ.

Let’s start with the ass-fucking! According to a new biography, Ariel Sharon: An Intimate Portrait, W had some interesting things to say about what he would do to Bin Laden.

Speaking of George Bush, with whom Sharon developed a very close relationship, Uri Dan recalls that Sharon's delicacy made him reluctant to repeat what the president had told him when they discussed Osama bin Laden. Finally he relented. And here is what the leader of the Western world, valiant warrior in the battle of cultures, promised to do to bin Laden if he caught him: "I will screw him in the ass!"
Wow, that’s not at all gay. If I really hate someone and I’m fantasizing about what I would do if I got my hands on them, ass rape is generally not anywhere on the list. I actually don’t think of any kind of ass play at all.

Young W was born in Connecticut but raised in Texas. When W was seven, his three-year-old sister, Robin, died of leukemia. W was the only other child in the family at the time. Psychologically scarring!

He attended the Phillips Academy in Andover, Massachusetts, where he showed his future leaderships skills as head cheerleader. After high school he took his talents to Yale, where he was nicknamed “lip.” W jumped right back into cheerleading with his Yale roommate, Victor Ashe.

Ashe went on to be mayor of Knoxville, Tennessee, and is rumored to have been arrested twice, but not charged, with soliciting male prostitutes. Many people in Knoxville consider Ashe to be gay, but that did not stop the President from seeing him. Ashe has made several “unscheduled visits” to the White House and according to the Secret Service, W made at least eight unscheduled and unannounced trips to Knoxville while he has been President. Ashe is now the Ambassador to Poland.

In the summer of 1977, W’s life changed forever. He met Laura Welch in Midland at a dinner at the home of their mutual friends Joe and Jan O’Neill. They married three months later, on November 5, 1977. He kept drinking until he was forty, when he found God.

W has banned jeans in the Oval Office, but he often wears cowboy boots with his suits when meeting with foreign leaders, which certainly impresses them.

He has said that if he was stuck on a desert island he would bring a Bible, running shoes, a fishing rod and books. W must not realize that the Bible actually is a book.

The most important moment of his presidency arguably occurred in early in August 2001 when he received a memo from the CIA in August 2001 titled "Bin Laden Determined to Attack America." He then told the CIA, “Okay, you’ve done your job” and continued his month long vacation.

There is also ample evidence that besides being gay he is also the anti-Christ. According to MonkeyBuddha.com, several characteristics of anti-Christ fit W perfectly.

• "Divides the world and creates war without end"

• "Refers to war as peace, death as a solution for justice,
and serving the wealthy as a means of helping the poor."

• "Attempts to win supporters, and will silence anyone or make enemies of any country who refuses to approve of him."

• "A leader who deceives many people."

• "They will follow in his battles that he will declare, boldly and without humility, are for a purpose which is untrue."

• "Many nations will recognize that he is evil, but his own people will be inclined to believe his deceptions.
This is because the people who follow him will lose the ability to discern between the truth and the lie."

• "A popular figure among those who are deceived by him"

• "Professes to be a man of God, who is himself a Christian."

• "He could be a high-ranking political leader, who will initially do very good, popular things, which will win him many followers.

• "In the end, however, he is supposed to get increasingly totalitarian and elicit more and more sacrifices from his followers until eventually his evil ways become known, and the era of 'trials and tribulations' begins."
Also, Bush was born July 6, 1946. If you add up all the digits in his date of birth, you get 7+6+1+9+4+6 = 33 = 3+3 = 6. You can’t really disagree with that kind of evidence.

So there you have it. The president is probably gay, is definitely the anti-Christ, watched a sister die slowly, hates office jeans, digs the Bible and wants to ass fuck the man responsible for any popularity he ever had.

Happy P Day!

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