Middle of Nowhere Still Safe!

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According to ever-accurate Yahoo! News,

Only six of 75 U.S. metropolitan areas won the highest grades for their emergency agencies' ability to communicate during a disaster, five years after the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, according to a federal report obtained Tuesday by The Associated Press.

A draft portion of the report, to be released Wednesday, gives the best ratings to Washington, DC; San Diego; Minneapolis-St. Paul; Columbus, Ohio; Sioux Falls, South Dakota; and Laramie County, Wyoming.
Awesome. So, in case of terrorist attack, be sure to be near the middle of nowhere and you’ll be safe! Wasn’t this report issued last week under the headline “Common Sense”?

The puzzling thing is how Washington, DC managed to get into the top six, given that one would assume hitting political targets would be a high priority action-item for terrorists who “hate America.” Having gotten stuck driving in DC only once in my lifetime, I can answer that question for you: terrorists will be too disoriented by the roundabouts and never-ending maze of one-way streets to ever locate their targets. Safety by virtue of total chaos; brilliant idea, Founding Fathers!

Now if only low-scorers Chicago, Cleveland, Baton Rouge, Mandan (ND—where??) and American Samoa can get their acts together, we’ll have those terrorists licked.

web address: http://suicidegirls.com/news/all/19799/Middle-of-Nowhere-Still-Safe/