North Korea Threatens Nuclear War

The "Dear Leader" in North Korea flexed his political muscles today, threatening an "annihilating strike and a nuclear war" if Bush's magic 8-ball told him to start yet another war and preemptively invade.

The Korean Central News Agency, citing an unidentified Rodong Sinmun newspaper "analyst," accused the United States of increasing military pressure on the isolated communist state.

The North Korean threat of retaliation, which is often voiced by its state-controlled media, comes amid U.S. official reports that Pyongyang has shown signs of preparing for a test of a long-range missile.

"The army and people of the DPRK are now in full preparedness to answer a pre-emptive attack with a relentless annihilating strike and a nuclear war with a mighty nuclear deterrent," the report said. DPRK stands for the North's official name, the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

The report accused Washington of escalating military pressure on the country with war exercises, a massive arms buildup and aerial espionage by basing new spy planes in South Korea.

North Korea routinely accuses the U.S. of aerial espionage, issuing a tally of such flights at the end of every month. The U.S. military doesn't comment, although it acknowledges monitoring North Korean military activity.
To be perfectly honest, if there's one country that's really worth spying on, it's North Korea. And not only because it's run by one of the world's most morbidly amusing and bizarre political figures, but because the guy is so certifiably insane that any intel gathered is guaranteed to at least be hilarious. Well, it would be if he didn't represent such an actual threat to US interests in both the region (the DPRK is not a fan of either South Korea or Japan, two close US allies) and to the US itself, as impending missile tests are thought by many to serve as a demonstration of the capability to deliver nuclear warheads to western areas in the US.

What's really unclear in all of this is what Kim Jong-Il is seeking to gain from all of his saber rattling. His country is in a shambles, with gross human rights violations constantly being perpetrated on its citizens, it has virtually no economy or trade, largely because of the Stalinist political proclivities of both Kim and his father and predecessor, Kim Il-Sung. He's already gotten the attention of the world, several times. The question is, now that he's got it, what does he want to do with it?

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