Despite All My Rage, I am Still Just a Rat in a Cage: The Week in Break-Ups, Low-Downs and Move-Ins

It's been a busy week in the world of celebrity gossip--certainly one worthy of a little recap. Join me as I reflect and chortle.

Justin & Cameron
Celebrity watchers got whiplash on this one, as even the same newspaper printed contradictory reports.

Jeff Gordon & model (of course)
The NASCAR stud got engaged to a Belgian hottie he met on the set of Taxi. Guess her light was on.

Lost'’s Emilie de Ravin & Chumscrubber actor Josh Janowicz
Aw. Much cuteness. Hard to begrudge happiness to up-and-comers who are just trying to make a living.

Jessica Simpson & Dane Cook
And yet, we’re perfectly comfortable giving her a few knocks. Does anyone buy the “just friends” thing anymore?

Owen Wilson & a bevy of women
[to each lovely] “I’ve never felt this way before. You’re something special. You’re magnificent. Your… time is up.”

Star Jones & The View
Proving pundits right, Star exits stage left before Rosie O’Donnell joins the show. Thereby starting one of the more lame tempests in a teapot we’ve seen in a while. [see below]

Barbara Walters & her dignity
Yeah, Star is crass and annoying. But let us get this straight: She publicly quit your show, saying she felt she was being fired. You took it personally, saying you had been trying to protect Star from nasty network executives. But Star’s contract wasn’t renewed, right? She was, in fact, being fired. So you’re mad that she quit before you had a chance to pull the trigger? Barbara, honey, this is beneath you.

Billy Corgan & Courtney Love
Shacking up together… platonically. That’s a lot of angst under one roof.

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