my engagment ring is pink tourmaline. is theres even once ounce of you that thinks she wont say yes because there isn't a diamond on that ring then theres a problem with your girl. the amethyst ring you have now sounds waaaay more heart felt and sentimental then going out and dishing out $$ just to say you got her a diamond. give her the ring you already have.

I personally think that diamond engagement rings are prohibitively expensive, and often look very samey and tacky unless you get them specially made. It sounds to me that the ring your mother is offering you is both pretty and unusual and has a bit of family history behind it. The jewellrey industry spends millions a year trying to convince women and men alike that diamonds are the best way to say you love someone, but it is simply not true. Go with the amethyst.

i actually don't want a diamond engagement ring. i want a ring, yes, but no diamonds for me--i just don't like them all that much and i think that there are other stones which just fit me and my personality much better. anyway, long story short: go with the amethyst. it will definitely mean much more.

you can always give it to her, and afterwards tell her honestly that you were worried, and say, 'if there is a certain type of ring that you would prefer, i will do my best to get it for you, because i want you to love it forever'.

i have a couple of friends who are married who, when proposed to, had to say something like 'yes i'll marry you, but can i come with you to pick out a different ring?'. some boys just don't have perfect taste. doesn't make them not marry-able, and it's not uncommon for women to speak up about what they want for their ring.

i'd try the amethyst though, i think she'll love it.

I would like my engagement ring to have diamonds on it but not necessarily have the focus be on the diamonds. I'm all about tradition + modernity, so I'd like to see a big fat sapphire/amethyst/ruby garnished by two tiny diamonds on each side. But notice: the diamond is not the most important part. Hell, even the gemstone isn't the most important part. I just want a nice ring on my finger which will signify that some awesome dude loves me. And I'm sure that's all she'll want, too.

I'm still hung up on the fact that you're going to propose even though you feel like you probably won't get married. What's the point? If you guys like things the way they are now, why change it?

That said, I think diamonds are tacky and overpriced. If this ring is a family heirloom and an antique, I think that would make it much more interesting than something you could go out and buy tomorrow.

It doesn't have to be a diamond at all! My mothers engagement ring is Saphire, then the wedding ring was diamond and the 1 year anniversary ring was both Saphire and Diamond and she got all 3 of them forged together. I would want just a gold band, or even something silver. Its the token of admiration and dedication, diamonds dont mean shit, I wouldnt worry about it. Something that is an heirlume (sp?) sounds much more beautiful to me.
umm good luck with that.

Someone i was in love with could propose with a plastic ring or an onion ring and i'd still say yes.

That ring you have for her sounds beautiful..and if she doesn't see the sentiment behind it then i'd be a bit worried. Especially with all the history it has.

Dude, give her the ring that has a lot more history than a diamond that you just bought in a store. Im sure its gonna mean a lot more to her. If she is not really satisfied with it, maybe you both can go a pick one. I doubt she'll want to get a new one though. Good luck!

Diamonds are icky. Many diamonds carried by big name jewelers are diamonds that were smuggled across borders in order to fund arms purchases. There is no way to know if your diamond came from legit mine, or if it came from a mine that used near-slave labor and was instrumental in funding a bloody war.

Go with the pretty amethyst. Diamonds are a sham.

Aww Id love an onion ring, Summer that was too cute.

if you want to support the suffering of families and children caused by an unecessary industry (and way to go for already knowing about it, a lot of people don't even consider it ) that thrives on people thinking that marriage = diamond, then get her one. you're a smart guy, you know logically that a diamond is a silly idea, but i totally understand that it still has that stigma attached to it of being the "marriage stone". but i think the amethyst gives that exact same effect. cos:

1) it belonged to your grandmother, so it has some tradition.
2) its still a ring, its not like you're substituting a diamond ring for a silver necklace
3) it sounds like your girlfriend will be happy with it

if you REALLY wanted to get her a diamond and not feel like you're handing your money to someone who in turn is going to hack off a child's arm, you could look into candian diamons mined by independent (re: non- DeBeers owned) mines. however, a diamond is a diamond, and with that picture perfect idea of it being the perfect wedding stone also comes the picture of human suffering. be a trend setter, get the amethyst

I would be touched of I got an old family ring. Diamonds are pretty don't get me wrong but it's the thought that really counts.

leave the ring the way it is. diamonds are incredibly bloody stones. people die because of them, and De Beers is fucking evil. If I believed in a hell, I'd say they were going.