honey, as someone who's been in this situation (but with me as "him"), i have to say that the security of a long-term relationship is an AWFULLY hard thing to leave. You're not being fair to yourself if you wait around for him to leave her (because lord knows if and when that will happen), and, as you yourself have said, the context of your current relationship with him opens up a whole new avenue of trust issues that would likely imbue any latr exclusive relationship.

please don't wait around honey. It always hurts to be the other girl. and I have been the other girl, and the girl that was being cheated on, and the one doing the dirt. I still can't figure out what's worse. If you have known him your whole life you should be honest with him although it's a bitch to do. and like siv said, it's really really hard to leave a long term relationship.

I've been the other girl. You're letting him get away with fucking her over. Who else do you think he has going on the side? Don't you worry about your own safety? When I found out my ex was cheating on me, first thing I did was go and get tested because you never know. You're putting yourself in danger. He might tell you that you two are the only ones in his life, but what's he telling her? A lie. How do you know he's not doing the same to you? You deserve to be someones 100%. Why would you settle for someone who's a coward and a liar?

[Edited on Oct 20, 2004 12:16PM]

Its kinda dangerous beeing in your situation.
First of all, as Lotus sayed, you never know. You are the second, yes, but... can there be a third??

I guess that the best thing for you is to leave him, cause even if he leaves his gf you will feel insecure for ever, and that´s not healthy.
You are not made to be in second place, you are made to be in FIRST PLACE.
Girl, dumpt him. I know is hard but is the best for YOU.

Good luck kiddo
xoxo
A*

I have to agree with the other girls. If you stay in this situation you will just continue to be confused and insecure as long as it lasts, and that's no way to live, and it's no way to create a healthy relationship. The best thing you can do is move on now, before you get in too deep, and do your best to get over it. Maybe after a while, if he's broken up with her and not seeing anyone else, and you think there's something real there, you could give it another shot.

[Edited on Oct 25, 2004 8:03PM]

i've been in your place before. it's a shitty place to be. she doesn't deserve that and neither do you -- i suggest that you end it with him immediately, as painful as that may be, and even if it's not really your place to tell her, he won't, that's for damn sure.