Get to know your partner and what they like. In order to please someone you must know what turns them on and gets them off Communication is key here. Ask them questions.. experiment... and most importantly have fun! Good luck!

Are you shy? Insecure? You are probably making it harder for yourself the more you worry about it. Get rid of your inhibitions, relax and be yourself. Be open to trying new things, don't be afraid of your body or theirs and make sure they know you enjoy pleasing them. Talk to your partner to find out what they like and don't like, if you are open and comfortable about it they will probably be willing to tell you everything.

[Edited on Feb 04, 2004 10:55AM]

confidence is key. sounds like you have a low s.o. buddy. wishy washy is no good in the bedroom. decisive is key. if you insist on being woody allen, find someone to take the reins who will be a bit bossy. do what they tell you to and don't talk back. you will be aces.

xoxo
-missy

This is one thing that's hard to get "advice" on, because every person is different, and likes different things in bed. Ask your partner what they'd like, and let them know that you're feeling a little insecure, as well. They can give you some idea of what would make them feel good, and they can help by being encouraging and gradually boost your sexual self-esteem.

Communication. You may feel like a tool asking for help, but you'll look like an angel.

Communication is really important. You definitely need to just talk to your partner, not only finding out what they like, but also letting them know what you like. Also pay very close attention to their reactions, you can usually tell when a someone is into it and when they're not so much. Most importantly, try to relax and just have fun, because sex isn't supposed to be nervous and stressful. If you communicate, open up, pay attention, and relax, it's almost guaranteed to be a good time!

Truth be told, not many people actually know what they're doing when it comes to sex. It's kinda awkward in that way. Talk with your partner about what he or she likes when it comes to sex, and try it. You may have some times where you don't like it, or your partner doesn't like it, but all you can really do is try. In time you'll find something you're good at!

have some faith in yourself. some people i thought were awful but someone else thought they were amazing...different people have different expectaions, likes, and dislikes....but the key here is if you appear to have confidence and knowledge then it's alot easier for someone to believe you....if all else fails, start reading up. there's lots out there to learn and amazingly most of it is in a book

well......why ARE you bad at sex?

1. like fine wine i think it gets better as you get older..........you didnt give us much to go on...but i know when i was younger i didnt know what the fuck i was doing...but now....totally different.

2. other sexual experience.....i mean did you go from first to homerun.....you kinda gotta be comfortable anywhere on the field....maybe you should focus on just oral sex for a while and get comfortable with another person's bits ya know...i know i used to be terrified of dicks.....but now we're quiet friendly and i am much more comfortable with that thing being on the loose

3. do you have relationships or just a bunch of one nights?......people that i have had a long term sexual relationship with i have had much better sex with. you talk and enjoy the intimacy of it all.

and here are a couple tips as a bonus:
if your a boy do math in your head or think of baseball to ya know....help last, at least that's what a couple of guys have told me they do

if your a girl clench your vanginal muscles and gain strenth...not only does it feel better for your partner but it helps produce stronger oragasms (yeah!!!) oh and start masterbathing.....figure yourself out before you attempt someone elses body....

ask yourself first if you're comfortable with yourself and your outlook on sex in general.

are you getting out of the sexual experience what you really truly want? or are you holding back from finding the person or persons that you really want to enjoy?

if you can't be honest with yourself and what you're kinks really are then there's no way that you can communicate with anyone else. and like all everyone else has told you plainly: communication is the key to a great sex life/performance.

but you have to be honest and feel completely natural with yourself before you can please someone else.

good luck.


edit: oh wait that's what holly said: oh and start masterbating.....figure yourself out before you attempt someone elses body....

Experiment. I could give you better advice if I knew a little more about your situation. How long you've been having sex for, are you in a relationship, what you enjoy ect...
Don't be shy about it, ask what is enjoyable.

Ask. Like Flux said, you might feel stupid. But it comes off sweet, trust me. Then you both get to have mind-blowing orgasms. Fun all around

[Edited on Feb 08, 2004 3:14PM]

There’s also an array of books on positions and techniques at any of your local sex toy stores and sometimes even at your local Barnes and noble.

Communicate with your partner, of course.

Reading erotica can give you some interesting ideas, too. If you start an erotica collection, don't forget to get The Kama Sutra. Look at it with your partner. Some of the illustatrations will make you laugh together (which will make you feel more at ease) - because they look ridiculous, but they are sure fun to attempt!