OK sweets, I'm really confused. You made an agreement and it looks like he honored that agreement by telling you what had happened. You have a non-commitment 'relationship' right? So you shouldn't be upset with him for making the most of it. He proved he is trustworthy by telling you about it. If you are expecting him to prove it by being exclusively with you, you should make that clear to him - then if he does hook up with someone else you could be rightfully upset.

So, how did you get yourself into this? Whose idea was it to have this agreement? It doesn't seem like a situation you are well suited for if it makes you feel bad.

If a guy brings up this kind of thing when you start seeing him I suggest you head the other direction or be perfectly clear in what you will not allow. It is an indicator of how seriously (or not seriously) they are taking the relationship, and you deserve so much better than lukewarm feelings and 'agreements' that make you feel betrayed.

Were you exclusive or not? If you were exclusive then he is a dick that doesn't deserve you. if you were not (hence the agreement to see other people) then you can't get mad. take things slow. date, have fun don't take things too seriously until you know if you like him and if he likes you. if things work out then that is great. if not then you weren't emotionally involved and you didn't get hurt.

Once you know you are "together" and want to be together then you can talk about having and agreement. Open relationships are hard work and are not for everyone. Don't jump into one just because you think that is what the guy wants. Think about what will make you happy and if he can't give it to you, fuck him, you don't need him.

date and have fun.

xoxo
-missy

Babes, an agreement is a compromise most often and both parts need to follow it- also, both parts need to agree with it from the start. I´m in an open relationship and none of this would have worked if we didn´t have strict rules of what is and what is not allowed, and re-checking our level of commintment every now and then. And what works for us is mostly this: Li´l Pihka feels crappy as her lover is going to take another girl out to a fancy diner. She says it aloud, and her lover recognizes that she feels bad, so what he does is that he huggles and smooches her, tells her that he loves her, tells when he´s going to be back and that tomorrow we´ll be doing something together. Li´l Pihka is usually comforted by that. And she in her turn promises to call when she´s not coming home to sleep but shares someone else´s bed instead; and of course the condom thingie.

It feels much honest and good to us. But I´ve witnessed many couples of which the one person thought it was a free-to-go relationship and the other suffered and felt jealous. No good, that. So talk talk talk and see where you stand on this okay?

we had a long long talk and we realized there's only 2 ways around this problem to solve it:

1) stop dating, because obviously one of us is upset if this keeps happening

2) be exclusive.

neither of us wanted to stop seeing eachother and we realized where we stood with eachother and feelings, so WA-LA! i'm no longer single.



... and i'm loving it

thanks girls!

I've been having the same problem. After a month, guys get tired of me. It sucks. I've just realized that they aren't the right guys for me, and that any guy who's good for me would be willing to see past my quirks and be with me for a month.

Glad you've got it sorted out!