Just be honest and communicative.

Be respectful and tactful.

And don't just swing from one branch to the other.

If i was in your position i would wait. See if the feelings for the friend are still there in a years time, and if the feelings for the fiancee are gone.

Like you said, you're only just coming out of this relationship, so take it easy for a while.

Doing something now could ruin your friendship with this person, and alienate your fiancee.

Sit back, enjoy being single for a while, and see what happens.

go after what you want.

it mught turn out to be a horrible mess, but it'll be a beautiful mess.

i was in a relationship like the one you're in, first-love, engaged and whatnot. it was so hard for me to leave him, and you're already gotten up the balls and done that. so congratulate yourself.

then start flirting with the guy you like, see where it goes, let him know you're single.

good luck.

It sounds to me like you need some time on your own to discover who you are.

Being single is really hard at first, but it teaches you a lot about life and about yourself.

time on your own is very important. you need to find out who you are and what's important to you, outside of a relationship. if you are 'in love' with someone else, you definitely should be ending it with the fiance. give it a bit of time and see what's up with the other guy. you might get your heart broken a bit, but it'll be worth it.

[Edited on Dec 11, 2005 by Rin]

You obviously need to think about things on your own. Maybe in the long run you won't want either one of them. But really, be honest.

Stay single for a bit and figure shit out on your own. You can have some fun, but I'd stay away from serious relationships for now. Figure out what you want with your life, including whether/when you want to settle down with someone.

I was with my very first boyfriend for about two years, and when I broke up with him I stayed single for over a year. Best thing I ever did.

Good luck, darlin'.

I am going to go out on a limb here and say you aren't actually in love with this mutual friend.

Some times lust can be a tricky emotion.

I think that you shouldnt let him walk out of your life but dont make him your life yet either. I know how I have been in a VERY similar postion before and I had been dating a guy for 3 1/2 years and we " took a break" and I fell in love with someone else... and acted upon it without really thinking it over and found that I didnt like this guy as much as I thought I did... I wish i would have gave my decision some more time.... but every situation is different..
follow your heart but always consider whats in your mind as well...
Whatever choice you make... I think that you will be following destiny... im such a strong believer in that.
I really hope everything turns out okay!

If you are taking a break from your fiance ("breaks" are not a good idea in the first place but that is a different story) then you have no ties to him.
If you want to date your friend, then date him.
You can also still continue to be his friend.... he doesn't have to walk out of your life either.

You're young and have only had one real relationship. As hard is it might be, you should be single for a while. Maybe a long while. It's good to know how to take care of yourself, and support yourself. You don't need a man around all the time. There are tons of potential boyfriends out there. You'd be surprised how many acctually. There's no need to jump at every single one.