I have this problem too. I can cum just fine by myself, but when someone else tries to make me do it, it never happens.
It could be she gets nervous (which is one of my problems) or no one's found just the right technique yet (also one of my problems).
Chances are if you end up dating for a long time and get super comfortable with eachother, one day it'll happen.
But don't get "irked" just because you can't make her do it. It makes the girl feel resented when a guy gets frustrated with her because she can't cum. It's not like she's doing it on purpose.

edited because I'm using the wrong verbs and nouns . yee haw.


[Edited on Oct 12, 2005 by Vanessa]

I have the same problem, too. I can orgasm just fine all by myself but then when I'm having sex, even if I'm *health class voice* "manipulating my clitoris" It still takes me forgodamnever to orgasm. I think this is left over fear from the 50's that women aren't supposed to enjoy sex when we in fact enjoy it in a very different way.

But yeah, don't be bothered by it, it's not your fault, I blame it on pop culture... but then I blame everything on culture so... *shrug*

Ask questions. TALK. Communicate very freely about what feels good and what doesn't feel good.

And don't believe anything your guy friends tell you. They're probably wrong.

I know it can be hard on a guy's ego when a girl doesn't cum- it makes you think you're crap in bed. However, women do enjoy sex without having an orgasm every time and you need to relax and not worry about it so much. It could just be that this lass is really nervous or takes a really long time to get off. I suggest that you maybe try out a couple of different things, like different oral techniques or using a vibrator during sex. But don't get annoyed at her or take it personally cos then she'll be even less likely to get off.

Yeah, tell her to make herself cum when you're having sex. She can do that, right? Don't be ticked, be encouraging.

It's very very common for girls not to be able to cum from intercourse alone, and many can only cum by themselves. It will help to get her comfortable with you, and to have her show you what she likes, and to let her know you're not upset, and that you'll take as long as she needs to to cum, because you love her and want her to feel good.

whatever you do, don't show that you're "irked" by her lack of cumming abilities. that will only put pressure on her, and making an orgasm for her less likely. when it comes to women and orgasms, there's a whole lot of mental business that comes into play. if she's nervous, self conscious, uncomfortable, it will make reaching orgasm even more difficult.

there's also the possibility that she needs specific ways of touching to get off, and she doesn't think you can do it, so why bother. i know i have certainly felt that way in the past. have her show you and tell you just what kind of motions, etc does it for her. as long as you pay attention to her sounds and breathing, you should pick it up.

but please, whatever you do, don't make her feel bad for not being able to cum! don't get frustrated! understanding is the way.

get her to show you exactly what she does to make herself cum. put your hand over her hand while she fingers herself. go down on her and have her tell you what feels good, what feels better. etc. it may take a while but you will get it eventually!

get her to show you exactly what she does to make herself cum. put your hand over her hand while she fingers herself. go down on her and have her tell you what feels good, what feels better. etc. it may take a while but you will get it eventually!

I know this is late, but I wanted to chime in. Get her to fall madly and deeply in love with you, fall madly in love with her, and then give her at least a 24 hour emotional foreplay mind-trip so she doesn't feel vulnerable and awkward in bed. Praise every bit of her so she isn't afraid to expose anything to you. It's probably her own mental block that keeps her from cumming, and nothing or little to do with physical sensation. Stroke that ego before you stroke that .

It is totally normal.. i find girls... also I as well.. have to be in a comfortable, relaxing space, and mind space.. and with a trusting guy to be able to cum so freely...

Just watch her do it to herself.