Well the first thing you need to do is get over this idea that life ends at 30. When you turn 30 you still have probably another 40 or 50 years to live. So stop putting so much pressure on yourself. Next, stop putting yourself further into debt. I assume you mean credit card debt. I don't know what you mean by "because I know how to save." I'd imagine that you are feeling the travel/ life change bug because you feel like you're running out of time. Why don't you try saving up for one cool trip, like to a destination that's really intriguing to you? You'll have somehting to work towards and look forward to but won't be reneging on your debts. Or you could join something like PeaceCorps, which certainly involves travel. Then you'd be travelling and fulfilling a greater purpose in life.

i think most people grapple with this daily. i wish i had some kernel of advice for you that would make things a lot clearer and give you some purpose, but sadly- i dont. what i do have to say though is not to worry. you have forever do something extraordinary. some people are extraordinary children, but only mediocre adults. or vice versa.

i say you're just waiting for your time to shine.

Stop behaving like a child.

Take responsibility for your own actions and decide what it is you actually want to do, not what you theoretically want to do. You say you want to travel but you blow all your money on crap you don't need--it seems to me you don't really want to travel and that you are simply trying to convince yourself you have more potential than you really have.

You already know you need to control yourself, so just follow your own advice.

Your question is all over the place, from "what do I want to do with my life" to travel to debt to your partner ... I'm still trying to figure out what exactly you're asking. It sounds like you're dissatisfied in general and want something to change. Well, if you want change you're going to have to get off your ass and MAKE things change.

I'm always irritated by people who long to "travel," by which they usually mean Western Europe. As if staying in a couple hostels in Paris and Amsterdam is going to make you a wordly, sophisticated person. More likely it just makes you a bore when you show off at parties. You want to travel? Do something with your life? Join the Peace Corps, or teach English in Africa or something.

When I lived abroad I lost a good relationship because I was so far away for so long. So if you really want to travel you either have to lose your mate or take him/her with you.

Before you can travel, though, you have to deal with your debt. See a financial advisor or at the very least go to a bookstore and get a book on making repayment plans. And as for your spending, I have to agree with Roethke -- are you using spending as an emotional crutch or to sabotage your plans for a different life?

If you honestly want change in your life get your shit together and do something about it. While you're getting your finances in order you can think hard about what you really want to do and how you're going to get there. But YOU and you alone have to take the responsibility for doing it.

[Edited on Dec 27, 2005 2:15PM]