so i had a rather stupid day. seems this whole week is turning out to be stupid. for those not interested in random, pointless whining, please scroll past! 
last night after work was a bit of a waste. i did not work on the book i'm writing, the tshirt quilt, my halloween costume, or my broadway bear. i went home, did mundane household chores (such as reorganizing my tupperware cabinet and emailing the site where i get my cigarettes from to ask where the fuck my last carton is), did NOT have any sort of booze, and went to bed early. fucking yawn, right? i know it was the responsible thing to do, and i am trying not to be out until 2 am every night getting hammered with friends, but i think it's different when i feel obligated to behave versus wanting to behave.
anyway, today, i go in to work early. i'm doing some overtime at the millinery shop next door, so i figured i'd get a head start on my day so that i wouldn't be working until all hours of the night. work was fine until after lunch when my boss (the owner of the shop, who i am currently assisting for the next few months of spiderman hell, starts rapid fire aiming projects in my direction that all needed to be done immediately. her table is generally somewhere in a state between casual disarray and utter chaos, so as my corner of it became increasingly cluttered with things like green goblin boot parts and rockette skirts, i became increasingly flustered.
around 330, i knocked my coffee over, spilling it squarely onto my phone. greeeat. it was like instant replay of the time i did the exact same fucking thing a year and a half ago (i know treblah is giggling at this next door). so all i could do was sigh and keep working. lets hope i don't spill a beer into my purse and fry my ipod tomorrow, eh tre?
anyway, ended up working an extra hour at my job, running to the tmobile store across the street, grabbing a new phone ($70 after insurance? fuck you, phone company), then running over to the millinery shop and working there (on showgirl headdresses for pricilla, queen of the desert) until 830. at which point i gave up and headed home, only to discover that njtransit eliminated the 930 trains when the schedules changed in may. FUUUUCK! so now i'm stranded for an hour and a half with a dead phone, no kindle (decided randomly to leave it at home today), one cigarette, and zero patience. but i made it to the newsstand just before it closed and got myself some smokes and a beer and some chex mix. once i got home and set up my phone and had a couple of glasses of amaretto on the rocks, i feel slightly better. but bitterly disappointed at what a waste the past two days has been.
i think tomorrow, when the boyfriend comes up to visit (he lives down the shore, 60 miles from me), i am dragging him to the nearest bar and getting us both stinking drunk. and possibly eating something fried and doused in buffalo sauce.
anyway, i'm off to go listen to neutral milk hotel's "song against sex" on repeat, have another glass of amaretto, remind myself to pick up the new junip and grinderman albums that came out today, as well as download the new devo, and pray that i fall asleep before 2 am without a xanax. i don't ever want to depend on a drug to get to sleep at night, but i've been so fucking wired lately. too much going on at work, too many creative projects i've started and want to finish RIGHT FUCKING NOW, the encroaching darkness of autumn, blah blah blah.
here's a random picture of me and my friend tyler, looking exceedingly weird. well, he looks weird, i look like i'm 12, or staring at a painting of an angel, or maybe both.
night, sg.
last night after work was a bit of a waste. i did not work on the book i'm writing, the tshirt quilt, my halloween costume, or my broadway bear. i went home, did mundane household chores (such as reorganizing my tupperware cabinet and emailing the site where i get my cigarettes from to ask where the fuck my last carton is), did NOT have any sort of booze, and went to bed early. fucking yawn, right? i know it was the responsible thing to do, and i am trying not to be out until 2 am every night getting hammered with friends, but i think it's different when i feel obligated to behave versus wanting to behave.
anyway, today, i go in to work early. i'm doing some overtime at the millinery shop next door, so i figured i'd get a head start on my day so that i wouldn't be working until all hours of the night. work was fine until after lunch when my boss (the owner of the shop, who i am currently assisting for the next few months of spiderman hell, starts rapid fire aiming projects in my direction that all needed to be done immediately. her table is generally somewhere in a state between casual disarray and utter chaos, so as my corner of it became increasingly cluttered with things like green goblin boot parts and rockette skirts, i became increasingly flustered.
around 330, i knocked my coffee over, spilling it squarely onto my phone. greeeat. it was like instant replay of the time i did the exact same fucking thing a year and a half ago (i know treblah is giggling at this next door). so all i could do was sigh and keep working. lets hope i don't spill a beer into my purse and fry my ipod tomorrow, eh tre?
anyway, ended up working an extra hour at my job, running to the tmobile store across the street, grabbing a new phone ($70 after insurance? fuck you, phone company), then running over to the millinery shop and working there (on showgirl headdresses for pricilla, queen of the desert) until 830. at which point i gave up and headed home, only to discover that njtransit eliminated the 930 trains when the schedules changed in may. FUUUUCK! so now i'm stranded for an hour and a half with a dead phone, no kindle (decided randomly to leave it at home today), one cigarette, and zero patience. but i made it to the newsstand just before it closed and got myself some smokes and a beer and some chex mix. once i got home and set up my phone and had a couple of glasses of amaretto on the rocks, i feel slightly better. but bitterly disappointed at what a waste the past two days has been.
i think tomorrow, when the boyfriend comes up to visit (he lives down the shore, 60 miles from me), i am dragging him to the nearest bar and getting us both stinking drunk. and possibly eating something fried and doused in buffalo sauce.
anyway, i'm off to go listen to neutral milk hotel's "song against sex" on repeat, have another glass of amaretto, remind myself to pick up the new junip and grinderman albums that came out today, as well as download the new devo, and pray that i fall asleep before 2 am without a xanax. i don't ever want to depend on a drug to get to sleep at night, but i've been so fucking wired lately. too much going on at work, too many creative projects i've started and want to finish RIGHT FUCKING NOW, the encroaching darkness of autumn, blah blah blah.
here's a random picture of me and my friend tyler, looking exceedingly weird. well, he looks weird, i look like i'm 12, or staring at a painting of an angel, or maybe both.
night, sg.
i'm ready to start boozin' but too lazy to go to the liquor store. someone bring me a bottle of wine. plzkthx.
ok, so i had a shitty day at work. came home, drank my face off watching tv reruns. eventually found my way to the internet. watched a long ass video of one of my high school boyfriends getting married (he posted his "chuppah" video) and cried like a bitch. it was so beautiful and sweet. and now i'm sitting here half crying, wondering why i'm talking about this on my lil corner of a porn site, and why the video of some guy i dated well over a decade ago gets me all teary, and what its all about.
i think i'm just still a little drunk and tired and needed a good cry and maybe i'm tired. my head hurts and i'm out of cigarettes and i'm a little bit crazy and oh yeah, i'm tired.
i miss my boyfriend.
i should quit smoking.
i should go to bed.
i should also count myself lucky that i think i found someone who understands my late night crazies.
in the words of someone not so famous... "that is all..."
i think i'm just still a little drunk and tired and needed a good cry and maybe i'm tired. my head hurts and i'm out of cigarettes and i'm a little bit crazy and oh yeah, i'm tired.
i miss my boyfriend.
i should quit smoking.
i should go to bed.
i should also count myself lucky that i think i found someone who understands my late night crazies.
in the words of someone not so famous... "that is all..."
the obligatory "post-camping" blog.
well, what can i say? every year i say i'm not up to going next year, then right before the trip i get suckered into it, get excited, have a blast, and then inexplicably say that that's the last year i'm going. maybe i want to end it on a high note. i think i had so much fun this year though, that i'll skip the theatrics and just say that i'm down for going next year. durf durf.
i find it interesting as i get older to see how people interact on this trip- i find it to be a good representation, a microcosm if you will, of the real world. i mean, even though it's technically car camping, you're still out in the wild a bit. you still have to work a little harder at survival than in your daily life. personalities come out of the woodwork. (HAHA!) this trip felt a little bit to me like the trip of "big personalities", despite the fact that there have been way bigger personalities in years past.
naturally, there were people this year that i had sort of rolled my eyes at the thought of interacting with. surprisingly, i ended up enjoying spending time with them. conversely, there were other people that i was absolutely stoked to see, yet i found i had little to say to them. not even in a hateful or annoyed way, just didn't feel much connection.
maybe it's an aging thing. we're getting older, the trip has gotten more laid back. i keep telling my best friend to come with me, but having heard wild stories about years past, he's adamant about not attending. yet i know he'd have a blast, because all we seemed to do this year was sit around the fire and drink and eat and talk and just generally be chill. i mean, the drug-fueled fisty business is all well and good when you're young, like sow yr wild oats and all that... but it's not my thing anymore, and it's not what it was about this year, and i'm quite content with that. i think if it was still like that, i definitely wouldn't go.
gosh i'm having a hard time finding the words for what i want to say. i haven't blogged in a while so i'm feeling rusty. and ya know, i don't think it's just about camping.
i think the point is that i had a great fucking time at camping with great fucking people. same as my daily life. yet with camping, as with my real life, i'm finding less and less patience within me to deal with big personalities. it seems that within the past year- the past 6 months even- a lot of people in my life have like, suddenly snapped out of it. they woke up from the proverbial bad dream and got their shit together. me included. i'm trying, anyway.
and we've all taken off running, while there's still scattered people in our lives who just don't fucking get it. they're still dreaming and chasing butterflies and waiting for the rest of us to explain it to them. well guess what? you can't help people sometimes. it's fine to collect strays when your young, because at 16 or 22 or even 25, everyone is a little stupid and twisted and fucked up. you lock arms and slog through the shit together. but i'm pushing 30. i'm ready to settle down. and i'm sorry, but i don't have time for broken people anymore. i ran the gauntlet of getting my shit straight, and i can describe it to you until i'm blue in the face. but my gauntlet won't fix your problems. and as much as i love being the go-to person, the shoulder to cry on, if you aren't in my inner circle, then i don't want to extend that courtesy anymore.
unfortunately, i don't do well with confrontation. hard time saying no. bit of a magpie. gotta get past that and weed out the bad seeds.
PHWOAR where the hell did that come from!
anyway, off to upload pics and make bread pudding.
thanks again to all my ecct buddies for making 2010 totally epic.
mwah!
well, what can i say? every year i say i'm not up to going next year, then right before the trip i get suckered into it, get excited, have a blast, and then inexplicably say that that's the last year i'm going. maybe i want to end it on a high note. i think i had so much fun this year though, that i'll skip the theatrics and just say that i'm down for going next year. durf durf.
i find it interesting as i get older to see how people interact on this trip- i find it to be a good representation, a microcosm if you will, of the real world. i mean, even though it's technically car camping, you're still out in the wild a bit. you still have to work a little harder at survival than in your daily life. personalities come out of the woodwork. (HAHA!) this trip felt a little bit to me like the trip of "big personalities", despite the fact that there have been way bigger personalities in years past.
naturally, there were people this year that i had sort of rolled my eyes at the thought of interacting with. surprisingly, i ended up enjoying spending time with them. conversely, there were other people that i was absolutely stoked to see, yet i found i had little to say to them. not even in a hateful or annoyed way, just didn't feel much connection.
maybe it's an aging thing. we're getting older, the trip has gotten more laid back. i keep telling my best friend to come with me, but having heard wild stories about years past, he's adamant about not attending. yet i know he'd have a blast, because all we seemed to do this year was sit around the fire and drink and eat and talk and just generally be chill. i mean, the drug-fueled fisty business is all well and good when you're young, like sow yr wild oats and all that... but it's not my thing anymore, and it's not what it was about this year, and i'm quite content with that. i think if it was still like that, i definitely wouldn't go.
gosh i'm having a hard time finding the words for what i want to say. i haven't blogged in a while so i'm feeling rusty. and ya know, i don't think it's just about camping.
i think the point is that i had a great fucking time at camping with great fucking people. same as my daily life. yet with camping, as with my real life, i'm finding less and less patience within me to deal with big personalities. it seems that within the past year- the past 6 months even- a lot of people in my life have like, suddenly snapped out of it. they woke up from the proverbial bad dream and got their shit together. me included. i'm trying, anyway.
and we've all taken off running, while there's still scattered people in our lives who just don't fucking get it. they're still dreaming and chasing butterflies and waiting for the rest of us to explain it to them. well guess what? you can't help people sometimes. it's fine to collect strays when your young, because at 16 or 22 or even 25, everyone is a little stupid and twisted and fucked up. you lock arms and slog through the shit together. but i'm pushing 30. i'm ready to settle down. and i'm sorry, but i don't have time for broken people anymore. i ran the gauntlet of getting my shit straight, and i can describe it to you until i'm blue in the face. but my gauntlet won't fix your problems. and as much as i love being the go-to person, the shoulder to cry on, if you aren't in my inner circle, then i don't want to extend that courtesy anymore.
unfortunately, i don't do well with confrontation. hard time saying no. bit of a magpie. gotta get past that and weed out the bad seeds.
PHWOAR where the hell did that come from!
anyway, off to upload pics and make bread pudding.
thanks again to all my ecct buddies for making 2010 totally epic.
mwah!
wow, no blog yet this month! whoopsie. hehehe.
lets see... i just signed up for camping. ecctftmfw!
work is good, things with my dude are good, life is good... yeah, not much to offer. i'm happy. that's all.
been house sitting for my parents all week. poor me, drinking my way through their wine cellar and basking in the central air. life's fucking rough. no computer to use there, so i popped in at home to say hello to sg. can't really get it on my bb. well, i can, it's just such a fuckall pain that i don't bother.
still working on the book. slowly but surely.
i put on 10 pounds. it's weird, this is the first time since i was 12 that i've gained weight. i think i used to think i'd gained weight, but it was fluctuating water weight. now i've literally gained weight. and no ones letting me bitch about it because i'm still skinny. however, any weight gain at any size is uncomfortable if you aren't seeking it out... so in between whining i've been trying to eat better and drink less and be slightly more active.
oh and i took my cat to the vet today because he's been limping for a day or two. doctor says he sprained his leg. i'm so glad it's not a tumah.
anyway, gotta run. see you kids at camping!
whoopsie. hehehe. lets see... i just signed up for camping. ecctftmfw!
work is good, things with my dude are good, life is good... yeah, not much to offer. i'm happy. that's all.
been house sitting for my parents all week. poor me, drinking my way through their wine cellar and basking in the central air. life's fucking rough. no computer to use there, so i popped in at home to say hello to sg. can't really get it on my bb. well, i can, it's just such a fuckall pain that i don't bother.
still working on the book. slowly but surely.
i put on 10 pounds. it's weird, this is the first time since i was 12 that i've gained weight. i think i used to think i'd gained weight, but it was fluctuating water weight. now i've literally gained weight. and no ones letting me bitch about it because i'm still skinny. however, any weight gain at any size is uncomfortable if you aren't seeking it out... so in between whining i've been trying to eat better and drink less and be slightly more active.
oh and i took my cat to the vet today because he's been limping for a day or two. doctor says he sprained his leg. i'm so glad it's not a tumah.
anyway, gotta run. see you kids at camping!
birthday!
my home slices.
me and my dude (and arbitraria and her dude in the background)
i see youuuuuu
i haz a happy. the end.
my home slices.
me and my dude (and arbitraria and her dude in the background)
i see youuuuuu
i haz a happy. the end.
update time, i suppose.
quit the diner. after i had a huge hysterical crying/throwing things fit last saturday night, and realizing how much i hate that place no matter how much i tell myself otherwise, i'm done. they got a year of my life. they got every weekend last summer, and every holiday since 4th of july. they also fucked up my sleep schedule, my eating habits, screwed me out of vacation pay at my day job, and apparently helped me get passed up for new projects at said day job. so fuck em. peace out, girl scout. they did nothing for my financial situation- i'm just about as broke as i was a year ago. and besides- polyester is itchy, hot, and smelly in the summer. now to lose 10 pounds worth of late night disco fries and pbr, lol.
so yeah! my day job has been busy dealing with shrek tour deadlines and spiderman deadlines the same week. people have been working 65+ hour, 7 day workweeks. people have cried at work multiple times. i nearly got into screaming matches with the person i was working for, but was (like i said) passed up for some new projects, including building spiderman himself. so i escaped the brunt of it, but the collective stress level definitely leaked into my psyche. so i'm looking forward to a nice, relaxing weekend and a fresh start at being a regular 9-5er on monday.
tonight my awesome little sister is coming up to stay with us. as well as my awesome boyfriend. gawd, he just makes my life. i am so goddamned happy it's ridiculous. and everyone's all like, "gee katie, your so quiet about this one, how's it going with him?" and really it's just because i'm so confident in it. i feel no need to constantly talk about it. i'm just quietly content with feeling normal and happy. it's going great. he's amazing. that's it.
we're writing a graphic novel together. i've always wanted to write a book but never felt properly inspired. shauns a writer, but has only managed to finish one of the 11 books he's started. one night while out drinking i said to him rather off the cuff, hey, we should write something together. and it snowballed from there. we've got a few chapters started each, as well as a chapter outline and an extensive file of notes and charts. so i will keep you updated as that progresses.
my roommate bought a ginormous flatscreen so we've been spending quality time with that. lol.
pictures forthcoming! figure i'll wait till after the weekend. but i am definitely posting photographic evidence of our night out with AesirR.
anyway, enjoy the weekend kiddies- i know i will!!
quit the diner. after i had a huge hysterical crying/throwing things fit last saturday night, and realizing how much i hate that place no matter how much i tell myself otherwise, i'm done. they got a year of my life. they got every weekend last summer, and every holiday since 4th of july. they also fucked up my sleep schedule, my eating habits, screwed me out of vacation pay at my day job, and apparently helped me get passed up for new projects at said day job. so fuck em. peace out, girl scout. they did nothing for my financial situation- i'm just about as broke as i was a year ago. and besides- polyester is itchy, hot, and smelly in the summer. now to lose 10 pounds worth of late night disco fries and pbr, lol.
so yeah! my day job has been busy dealing with shrek tour deadlines and spiderman deadlines the same week. people have been working 65+ hour, 7 day workweeks. people have cried at work multiple times. i nearly got into screaming matches with the person i was working for, but was (like i said) passed up for some new projects, including building spiderman himself. so i escaped the brunt of it, but the collective stress level definitely leaked into my psyche. so i'm looking forward to a nice, relaxing weekend and a fresh start at being a regular 9-5er on monday.
tonight my awesome little sister is coming up to stay with us. as well as my awesome boyfriend. gawd, he just makes my life. i am so goddamned happy it's ridiculous. and everyone's all like, "gee katie, your so quiet about this one, how's it going with him?" and really it's just because i'm so confident in it. i feel no need to constantly talk about it. i'm just quietly content with feeling normal and happy. it's going great. he's amazing. that's it.
we're writing a graphic novel together. i've always wanted to write a book but never felt properly inspired. shauns a writer, but has only managed to finish one of the 11 books he's started. one night while out drinking i said to him rather off the cuff, hey, we should write something together. and it snowballed from there. we've got a few chapters started each, as well as a chapter outline and an extensive file of notes and charts. so i will keep you updated as that progresses.
my roommate bought a ginormous flatscreen so we've been spending quality time with that. lol.
pictures forthcoming! figure i'll wait till after the weekend. but i am definitely posting photographic evidence of our night out with AesirR.
anyway, enjoy the weekend kiddies- i know i will!!
