1039am

I'm not even really sure where to start, or where to end this off... so we'll just go with what flows... and see where that leads.

This week so far has been a culmination of a few things... which have all lead me to one thing.

I berate myself... way to often.

Current Sound:Glorybox from the album Felony Suicide's Shit Mix!!! (SG Swap 2004) by Portishead

Things that are either out of my control, or are inherently human to have happen. Become this large obstruction in my way... and a added stress to my life.

From finding on thursday night that I had manage to yet again, run out of cash in my bank account, to having a couple people on lava go from being interested to not in the space of a email... it just hasn't been a great week.

Regarding money, while that is my fault (but is something I could have avoided), is something humans do.

We all fall down, and that isn't the important part, it's getting back up, dusting yourself off and moving on.

Current Sound:Time is running out from the album Felony Suicide's Shit Mix!!! (SG Swap 2004) by Muse

On the topic of people... it's not my fault that someone decided they were interested, and then not. It could be a culmination of facts... the email... them being busy... or other. But, this shouldn't be something I berate myself on, or about.

I know I have come a far way... from where I used to be... given a few weeks ago... this would have been one long... sad... berating... depressing post... about me.

Writing all of this down does make me feel better, and I'm noticing that there is more concentration now on a the silver lining.

This week was only four days long.

It wasn't that busy.

On friday I got to spend time with one of my best friends, had a nice filling dinner, learned some odd facts about black licorice, and may have made a connection to some contract work.

I still do feel like a ass about other things, but really it wasn't in my control.. and I do know why it happenned.

I'm not in shape at all right now... and my body has been giving me a few signs.

- Sleep Deprevation
- Tired (even if I do sleep a lot)
- nose bleeds/dryness/etc
- strength is all but gone
- shaking when doing simple postures, or carrying weight.
- loss of stamina
- uneven breathing

Ways to correct this.

- excerise (atleast once a day, should be twice)
- healthy eating, no more junk food, or buying food at work
- changing from mocha chino's to chai tea
- vitamins
- increase in water intake, this has been lacking exteremely the past few weeks (and would solve most of my health problems)

Current Sound:Aftermath from the album Felony Suicide's Shit Mix!!! (SG Swap 2004) by Tricky

I will overcome my problems.

I will be healthy again.

I will be in shape again.

I'm more positive now then I have been in the past.

But, we do all falter in life, that doesn't matter, what does is what you do after.

UPDATE: The pc is sold, 800 made, that goes to the parents. I'm going to miss that machine, in other news I have a huge desk. Especially w/out the 19" behemoth monitor.