There's this girl...who I have spent the past 3 years in love with. I met her when I was 16, she was 17 and it was her first night out since she got into a bad ATV accident that left her in a back brace(it was her first night without having to wear it). My girlfriend at the time had just told me to kiss her, yeah...weird thing for a girlfriend to tell me to do but whatever. So I kiss this girl, Sammie, and off the bat her kisses were better than any I'd had before. There were times that night that I felt her eyes burning into me.
A couple of weeks later, we started to talk online...we were both just bored online with nothing to do so we IMed each other. All day. She was easy for me to talk to, she kept me amused...laughing a lot. That night I talked to her again on the phone now though...our first night we talked for 6 hours. Some of which was interrupted while I called to break up with my current girlfriend just to head back and call Sammie back and talk to her for another 2 hours.
Plain and simple...I fell for this girl soon after I met her. We could talk easily and when we met up a lot of our time was spent in bed...touching, kissing, talking and pleasing one another. It didn't last long...she ended up leaving me over and over again for other girls. Promising me her love but leaving while I slept to go spend her days with girls she found more worthwhile at the time. But always she came running back to me, time after time. It would be months between when I would see her, she'd always find me...contact me in some way and find out where I was and she'd come to me. And it'd be like those early days all over again. We'd talk, laugh, be affectionate and always it would lead to sex.
No matter how she looked, how she'd changed since the last time I saw her...I was never able to keep myself from drawing closer and closer to her. Time and time again, she'd tell me that she always felt something was missing...that there wasn't that one thing that we needed to make it work. She'd leave again for another time.
In July, she came back to me. She found me, found that I was still in the area and she needed a place to stay. She asked me and of course, me not being able to resist, I say yes and give her one of the extra bedrooms in our house. She loses her job and I get her one with me. About 2 weeks into living together (with me doing all in my power to act completely platonically towards her, only coming up to her room to smoke a bowl in the morning) she starts to work with me and here is where she changes.
She started to notice me in a way she hadn't before. She was the one now who drew closer to me when I was in the room, she'd be the one to flirt with me. We moved into a new apartment and she insists almost immediatly that I share a room with her, that I share a bed with her.
It's January now...she calls me her Bella. She says what we have is more than love, more than passion and lust. What we have is intensity. Attraction that not a lot of people I think see. Her body to me is a drug. She's one of those boyish lesbians...dykes (most commonly referred) and most people I don't really think of them as "pretty" "gorgeous" or "beautiful". But when I undo her belt and let those guys jeans fall, take off her baggy shirt wife beater and I have her there....her body naked for me to worship. She's beautiful, more so than I find most femmes. My attraction to her is unimaginable and before I thought unabtainable.
And when her hands are on me, she likes to play. She likes to tease and mess with my body...seeing how long she can last before I'm begging her to please me. Before there are tears rolling down my face from the desire to kiss her. She always satisfies that desire, she always treats me with care.
For once in my life, I feel loved. Truely loved by someone. She loves me, knowing the flaws of mine that she knows bother her. My quietness...when she's a loud person. How I don't speak my mind as openly as she does, I can still feel her love. Even if she were to leave me again, walk out the door silently while I slept...another time. I don't think I could stop myself from loving her still.
I hope that everyone experiences a love like that at least once. Because there's a time that maybe that person walks out and leaves but not for good. For me, I'd like to believe that this time it's not one of those kinds of nights. I would like to think that this time, it's my turn to get in the love that I want and will work to give back. I want to have her and give her my everything. Pamper her as much as she does for me, to take care of her when she's sick, or support her when she's having a hard time.
She's my love. She's my oxygen.
I hope anyone who bothers to read all this way, knows somewhat of what I'm talking about. And if not, I hope you find someone who makes you feel completely safe in the world of which you live.
A couple of weeks later, we started to talk online...we were both just bored online with nothing to do so we IMed each other. All day. She was easy for me to talk to, she kept me amused...laughing a lot. That night I talked to her again on the phone now though...our first night we talked for 6 hours. Some of which was interrupted while I called to break up with my current girlfriend just to head back and call Sammie back and talk to her for another 2 hours.
Plain and simple...I fell for this girl soon after I met her. We could talk easily and when we met up a lot of our time was spent in bed...touching, kissing, talking and pleasing one another. It didn't last long...she ended up leaving me over and over again for other girls. Promising me her love but leaving while I slept to go spend her days with girls she found more worthwhile at the time. But always she came running back to me, time after time. It would be months between when I would see her, she'd always find me...contact me in some way and find out where I was and she'd come to me. And it'd be like those early days all over again. We'd talk, laugh, be affectionate and always it would lead to sex.
No matter how she looked, how she'd changed since the last time I saw her...I was never able to keep myself from drawing closer and closer to her. Time and time again, she'd tell me that she always felt something was missing...that there wasn't that one thing that we needed to make it work. She'd leave again for another time.
In July, she came back to me. She found me, found that I was still in the area and she needed a place to stay. She asked me and of course, me not being able to resist, I say yes and give her one of the extra bedrooms in our house. She loses her job and I get her one with me. About 2 weeks into living together (with me doing all in my power to act completely platonically towards her, only coming up to her room to smoke a bowl in the morning) she starts to work with me and here is where she changes.
She started to notice me in a way she hadn't before. She was the one now who drew closer to me when I was in the room, she'd be the one to flirt with me. We moved into a new apartment and she insists almost immediatly that I share a room with her, that I share a bed with her.
It's January now...she calls me her Bella. She says what we have is more than love, more than passion and lust. What we have is intensity. Attraction that not a lot of people I think see. Her body to me is a drug. She's one of those boyish lesbians...dykes (most commonly referred) and most people I don't really think of them as "pretty" "gorgeous" or "beautiful". But when I undo her belt and let those guys jeans fall, take off her baggy shirt wife beater and I have her there....her body naked for me to worship. She's beautiful, more so than I find most femmes. My attraction to her is unimaginable and before I thought unabtainable.
And when her hands are on me, she likes to play. She likes to tease and mess with my body...seeing how long she can last before I'm begging her to please me. Before there are tears rolling down my face from the desire to kiss her. She always satisfies that desire, she always treats me with care.
For once in my life, I feel loved. Truely loved by someone. She loves me, knowing the flaws of mine that she knows bother her. My quietness...when she's a loud person. How I don't speak my mind as openly as she does, I can still feel her love. Even if she were to leave me again, walk out the door silently while I slept...another time. I don't think I could stop myself from loving her still.
I hope that everyone experiences a love like that at least once. Because there's a time that maybe that person walks out and leaves but not for good. For me, I'd like to believe that this time it's not one of those kinds of nights. I would like to think that this time, it's my turn to get in the love that I want and will work to give back. I want to have her and give her my everything. Pamper her as much as she does for me, to take care of her when she's sick, or support her when she's having a hard time.
She's my love. She's my oxygen.
I hope anyone who bothers to read all this way, knows somewhat of what I'm talking about. And if not, I hope you find someone who makes you feel completely safe in the world of which you live.