well, i finally did it~ i filed for divorce. i'm very sad, but it needed to be done.. it won't be finalized til late next month, probably..
i moved out of 'our' apartment, and i'm trying very hard to stay away from him (he attacked me last week), but it's kinda hard to do with a kid. :/
everything else sucks, too, i should mention, ha!

i feel really sad lately. It's unfortunate, because i have to be here at work. But i'm all alone, and my depressing thoughts keep intruding. i see my psychiatrist soon, but i don't know what else he can do for me at this point. i'm already on drugs for my bpd (bi~polar disorder) and he upped my zoloft the last time i was there. He said, 'You seem more agitated than usual.' i cried the whole time i was there, poor guy. Haha i know i made him late for the person after me, but 20 minutes is just not long enough to tell someone your problems! Haha And i don't think the zoloft is working. i got lucky and had half a xan~bar yesterday; i was finally able to relax, for once! Unfortunately, my psych won't give me anything like that that actually works, because i made the mistake of telling him that i'd taken xanax and valium without a prescription, so now i'm labeled as some sort of pill~popping drug~addict. Before last night i don't even remember the last time i had any pills that weren't prescribed to me..
i just want to feel better.

now that i've been looking at this site, i can see which peircings i am going to get!
a lot of these girls have really bad~ass piercings, and it makes me want mooorrree!!
i cannot pierce my face, unfortunately, because my boss would make me take it out anyway.. he's so oldschool.. :/ but that's okay for now, i guess.. i definitely want to get my hood re~pierced, among others..
i'm super poor because i don't get paid shit, but hopefully soon i will get to splurge on myself a bit..

Suck it up!!!
you got this...

i'm supposed to be writing an essay that's *gasp* due tomorrow, but i figured it couldn't hurt to write a blog, first! haha

lots on my mind, lately, the first matter being.. my boss's creepy friend at work. i work in an office, which was a little hard getting used to at first. The office is okay, i suppose, but my boss and his friend at work are pervsss.. Which is all fine and dandy, since i'm a bit of a perv, myself! Except for one thing~ my boss's friend kept touching me. Now, he wasn't touching my ass, or my tits, but i DO NOT go to work to get touched, and so, after about nine months of this bullshit, i finally got enough balls to tell that creeper not to touch me. And he hasn't come back into my boss's office since! Now, normally he would come in like every day, and we would go out to eat with him on some days. So i know he hasn't been in lately because i told him that i don't like being touched. i told him on a day that my boss wasn't around, so at first my boss was confused about why Creeper wasn't showing his face.. I'm assuming Creeper told him, though, because my boss hasn't said anything about him lately, and i saw Creeper walking by my office today. He used to wave and smile at me, and i at him, but today he looked away quickly as if he hadn't seen me at all. Which is fine with me, because i don't have to deal with that asshole anymore! But it also pisses me off, because now i know for sure that that fucker was actually just coming into the office to fucking touch me, and then THAT pisses me off, and then we're back in the cycle of why i hate him in the fist place! haha He even told my boss once, while at lunch: 'See, i can sexually harass her because she doesn't work for me,' all proud of himself, and shit. i wanted to kill him then, and again when he was squeezing my leg under the table another time at another lunch, and every time he has touched me since. What irritates me even more than the Creeper is that his wife doesn't even smile and wave at me anymore like she used to (she works in the office with him, and they both pass by my office to get to theris), and i can only imagine the lies he had to tell her about me to cover up his own infidelities..
Well guess what, Asshole??? I WIN!!!

/end rant~ back to my essay!!! (i promise i'm not always this angry! (or am i???) :/

This is my first blog on this site, although i have been an avid blogger for years!
Just wanted to introduce myself, i guess, although i doubt anyone's actually reading! haha!!
Anyway, that's it for now!
Hello~goodbye!!