just wanted to say hello to everyone

ive not been here for a while cos our laptop decided to give up the ghost and not work for us at all, we now have a new computer and are back online at last

it seems my brother got married at the start of this month, i didnt go because he was having his wedding in some posh place and had told me if i was to go i would need to remove all my piercings and have a sensible hair style, he said he would feel uncomfortable because of my facial piercings.

i now work with Alice for her dad, i tihnk i am beginning to settle in ok

anyway bye for now

i have 2 older brothers, i dont speak to either of them and one of them i have not spoken to for quite a few years, any how he rang me up the other day to tell me he is getting married in November, this i already knew thanks to my mother, i didnt expect an invite as the reception is being held in the 3rd top hotel in england. its up to him and his other half where they go but in my opinion he is punching above his weight, the only person in our family who can afford to stay there is my eldest brother and he is paying for himself and his wife and kids and alos paying for our parents to stay there over night.

any way my brother told me he is getting married and said a bit about how the hotel is fucking posh, he then went on to say that he would like to invite me and my partner, he didnt even fucking bother to say her name which he would have been told by our mother, however in order for us to attend he said he would have to insist that we both remove any facial and ear jewelery we have and make sure our hair styles are sensible (he still presumes i have a mohican) he said he wouldnt want to be made to feel uncomfortable which he said he would if i were to be wearing my facial jewelery. i tried to explain that i thought my ears would look better with things in them than to have 10mm holes with nothing in, i cannot believe he was so fucking nasty to ask this as in my mind he is saying he is ashsmed of me and asking me to be something i am not, so i had to say we would not be going, the guy really has fucked me off intensely.

any how i am sorry to every one on here who is on my friends list, i am truly a fucking shit friend and should be taken off all your friends lists, i havent written comments for all of you in such a long time and i dont leave any interesting blogs for you to reply to so for that i am saying sorry and i am on my knees begging for forgiveness (ouch it hurts)

today was my last day at work, i should have finished tomorrow but i walked out today, i start working for alices dad soon not sure how its going to work out but i am quite looking forward to it in one way

cant think of anything else to say, but then im sure you dont all want to hear what i have to say anyway
bye for now
i need a cup of tea

hello everyone
how are we all doing?

sorry to everyone for not being around here much i dont have a reason just dont seem to be getting on here as much as i would like to, so how is everyone?

cant think of much to say, i never can, so i would like everyone to ask me 2 questions theyd like to ask about me

bye for now

cant think of much to say
a while back my little lover Alice got herself a pen pal........................I want one, any offers

anyway I am in need of a cup of tea

WARNING!!!!
this blog is a personal message to a certain lady in my life
i'm letting you all know so that you dont have to read this if you really dont want to











so Alice a while back you thanked me for some things in your blog, and now it is my turn, i want to thank you for

the holiday, spending time with me, hugging me when i'm down, letting me mourn Alex, for showing me so much love, for putting your legs up on me, showing me videos on the net, scaring the shit out of me with horror films, watching police documentaries with me, for asking me to sniff your hair, for dyeing my hair, letting me collect all the things i collect, not nagging me, showing me that i can be loved, not calling me stupid when i cry for no real reason, for flicking through all the music channels, cooking my tea, for being you, for dancing around the room and singing, not leaving me through the hard times, for being my best friend, being my only friend, letting me boil lots of eggs, listening to music i like. watching Harry Potter with me, understanding i cant do a lot of things for long because of my wrists, for smiling at me when i walk through the door, for sending me that first text, talking to me on the phone for nearly 13 hours, for saying "I spotted it"


so thank you Alice, I love you

i'm tired and need sleep

its no secret that xkillerx and i met on here nearly 2 years ago now and i was thinking about how we started writing comments to each others journals and leaving messages for each other, at the time i worked nights and when i got home in the morning the first thing i would do was go on line to read my messages and there would always be one from her so i would reply. things progressed very quickly for us.

i miss the emails and messages we would send to each other and the excitement of rushing home to read them and replying, but then i think to myself its pretty much the same now, i rush home from work to walk in through the front door and see her sat on the couch with the laptop on her lap and it always makes me smile and reminds me of how lucky i am to be with her. i think back to my marriage and i can honestly say i never felt that way, the marriage faded very quickly and in hindsight we should never have got married, but we did and things went sour quickly and ended after only 2 years of marriage. i am so lucky now to have someone who respects me and treats me fairly and doesnt expect me to do everything, also someone who doesnt nag me or keep me under the thumb as i was in my marriage. i am looking forward to haveing Alice as my wife and will be proud to call her mrs Jennings.

why if i love her so much and adore her do i find myself getting stressed and annoyed with myself, i dont feel i treat alice quite the way i should, i tihnk i should do more for her and stop being so fucking lazy around the house and with our finances, i hate myself for doing this and i am trying not to let things get to me and not to take things out on alice,

any way enough of my rambling, time to go