I've never been the most trusting individual. And a lot of expereience in life have made me even less trusting than I am by nature. Between shitty friendships and shitty relationships, I have become exceedingly paranoid and developed some weird habits to "test" (for lack of a better word) people and they are more subconscious than anything else. The most common is to let people tell me stories they have already told me and se of there are discrepancies from the last time they told me the story, and then if there are my mind spins into paranoid delusions, well depending the individual. I also became a bit of a snoop, and always seem to find issues, whiter they are really issues or things that I just end up making up in my own mind varies from situation to situation. With one of my EXs it generally was a real issue and stayed far too long with far too many of these and it has turned me into the person I am now. Over the last couple years I adopted a saying and way of thinking to help battle this "you will always find issues, if you look for them" it's what I would tell myself to calm myself and not snoop. Cause if there are no issues on the surface, if there are no problems, why go looking for them? But sometimes I falter, and end up finding something, and I want to avoid addressing it, but the seed is planted and flowers on its own. And that's where I'm at now. And I want to handle the situation and clear the air, but if its more than me being paranoid, it may be too much. But if I don't address it, it will eat away at me until I snap. I hate this. I am a flawed work in progress. I want to get past my own poor habits. But until then, this is what I have to deal with. Such is life I suppose. Live and learn, and always strive to be better...