It seems like everyday that I wake up, I have to try to come up with a reason to keep going. A reason not to give up on, I don't know, everything, life. And it's getting harder everyday. I just can't figure it out. There has to be something wrong with me. Maybe it's something I do? What is it that drives people away? What is it about me that keeps me alone? I don't like sleep. My mind fucks with me too much, shows me things I want but can't seem to have. My dreams are a mix, sometimes I have someone by my side, other times the people I know are always leaving me. Might be why I don't sleep easily, and at the same time why I find it so hard to wake up. I'm tired. I don't want to be alone anymore. Is that so much to ask? Just how long will I be able to put up with this? We aren't meant to be alone, part of the human condition and all that. I wonder how long until I run out of reasons. But this is just another moment of weakness, depression rearing its ugly head. Tomorrow it's back to work after all, got to get my reading done, got to get my papers written. Got to try to find a reason to keep at it. But seriously, I'm drawing a blank here these days.
Sorry for the bullshit blog.
Sorry for the bullshit blog.
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You'll get through this, I have faith in you, and I'm sure I'm not the only one here that believes in you. You're never alone, we're always here for you whenever and however you need.
I've always got a friendly ear available if you need.
"The hardest thing to do in this world is to live in it."
Sorry for quoting Buffy, but it seemed appropriate.
We're always here for you.