Hi Blog…
It has been quite a week! I thought the demons were gone…HA!!! Was I wrong? They were just hanging out in the shadows, lurking. I know why they came back…two triggers set them loose again. The first was an encounter with a younger woman (no one here) who, in effect made me feel very inadequate, unattractive…old, very old. I shouldn’t have cared, but it just caught me off guard and at a low point anyway…the experience made me think some very negative thoughts about who I am and what my life is all about. The second trigger has to do with my counseling work. I had to write my final reflection for my counseling license portfolio. The piece is short, but meant to bring all the learning…and emotions surrounding the work I’ve done…into focus as a culminating narrative. All of the feelings surrounding the bullying I endured, all the family stuff, and all the feelings of little self-worth came back with a vengeance. I am a stronger person for all of it, but my foundation was rocked again, right to its core. Friday and yesterday were so rough I considered the unthinkable again, but brought myself out of it this time…of course with the help of people here…lovely friends who knew what I was going through. This time it was a little different…I appreciate all the help – and LOVE – I received from people here, but I could also draw on the power I felt inside myself. I think the process has made me a better person, better able to help those kids I work with at school…the whole point of the process in the first place. I have evolved, changed. Yet, it doesn’t lessen the feelings I have for all the people I know here…and love so much. If anything it makes me appreciate all of you even more, much more. I never want to take anyone here for granted and as long as I have breath in me I won’t do that. Which brings me to another point…all the people I promised portraits of…all my new and old friends…I’ll get to them, I promise…and I take my promises VERY seriously. I will have much more free time now that my portfolio work is nearly done so I will get to everyone as soon as I can. So, here is one for Jaclyn. I hope she likes it…I had fun drawing her in glasses…something about a woman in glasses, HOT!!! I also did a ROUGH sketch of Mya as Vampirella. I love Vampy…she is my favorite vampire super heroine Goddess!!! I have another one of Mya I am working on now…hopefully I can get it done by the end of the day, but it looks doubtful…too many interruptions, but that’s another story. So Blog that’s all for now…I love all of you!






Have a nice day