I have decided to hang around this wonderful community a little while longer and see how things go.
My life is traveling well and I am studying massage therapy and aromatherapy. I also wish to study kiniesiology, homeopathy, naturapathy and ultimately one day acupuncture and Chinese medicine.
My life is traveling well and I am studying massage therapy and aromatherapy. I also wish to study kiniesiology, homeopathy, naturapathy and ultimately one day acupuncture and Chinese medicine.
Dreams
I had the weirdest dream, its bugged me all day.
It started of with me on some excrusion of some kind and all of a sudden I am protecting lil kids from an angry bull and from somewhere a horse appears and I am riding it the bull knocks the horse to the ground and i come away still protecting a lil girl, the bull by this stage is crushing me into the ground i grab its nose and force it into submission. although bruised and battered some hot chick appears from thin air and wants me.
Then puff not only is the road, school bus, dirt, kids bull, horse, and girl gone but i am in some weird fucked up demention of debauchery and shit. There are 1/2 as dozen to a dozen girls stuck in differnt forms of errotic torture and sadisticeness. The first one I have to save is from some big dumb ugly beast that is trying to rape her, some wierd little thing and a head that eats everything it can, some how i mange to get the three things to attack and kill each other and mover here out of this room.
We find ourselves in another full of clothes and things like a huge department store dedicated to women from all walks of life. Here we find several girls in hiding not to sure why but they are but there is a young woman in a trench coat and naked underneath and some creepy all guy with no one home in his head. Everytime he makes the motion to flash do dose she, no matter how much she tries to stop and she has tears streaming down her face wanting it to end. For some reason the idea that me fucking here while she tears the guys throat out with her mouth comes and drinks his blood to me and we do it. It works and she is free of her torture.
Moving to another room with the girls who were hiding and the 2 I have rescued we find a girl who is in only a sexy pair of knickers dancing for some creatures that are tormenting her while she has to continuously consumre alcohol. Even after killing the creatures here toruture is not over and she is still dancing and drinking. I have an uncontrollable urge and begin tearing her panties of and performing oral sex and eventual we fuck this releases her from her torture. We turn to walk through the next door way and it is dark has a greenish tinge to it and more then creepy. It has an almost sinister feel to it. Just as we walk through the door I wake up.
Any thoughts or sujestions on this.
I had the weirdest dream, its bugged me all day.
It started of with me on some excrusion of some kind and all of a sudden I am protecting lil kids from an angry bull and from somewhere a horse appears and I am riding it the bull knocks the horse to the ground and i come away still protecting a lil girl, the bull by this stage is crushing me into the ground i grab its nose and force it into submission. although bruised and battered some hot chick appears from thin air and wants me.
Then puff not only is the road, school bus, dirt, kids bull, horse, and girl gone but i am in some weird fucked up demention of debauchery and shit. There are 1/2 as dozen to a dozen girls stuck in differnt forms of errotic torture and sadisticeness. The first one I have to save is from some big dumb ugly beast that is trying to rape her, some wierd little thing and a head that eats everything it can, some how i mange to get the three things to attack and kill each other and mover here out of this room.
We find ourselves in another full of clothes and things like a huge department store dedicated to women from all walks of life. Here we find several girls in hiding not to sure why but they are but there is a young woman in a trench coat and naked underneath and some creepy all guy with no one home in his head. Everytime he makes the motion to flash do dose she, no matter how much she tries to stop and she has tears streaming down her face wanting it to end. For some reason the idea that me fucking here while she tears the guys throat out with her mouth comes and drinks his blood to me and we do it. It works and she is free of her torture.
Moving to another room with the girls who were hiding and the 2 I have rescued we find a girl who is in only a sexy pair of knickers dancing for some creatures that are tormenting her while she has to continuously consumre alcohol. Even after killing the creatures here toruture is not over and she is still dancing and drinking. I have an uncontrollable urge and begin tearing her panties of and performing oral sex and eventual we fuck this releases her from her torture. We turn to walk through the next door way and it is dark has a greenish tinge to it and more then creepy. It has an almost sinister feel to it. Just as we walk through the door I wake up.
Any thoughts or sujestions on this.
Making friends
I was queired the other day by someone who asked why I sent the a friends request when we had never talked so they rejected the request. I was wondering if anybody else thinks like me in that one never knows a person until they talk to them and this goes for all your friends and even family. Now if that intial contact is through a request to become friends is that wrong or should someone just send a msg saying something like this.
"Hey whats up was wondering if we could get to know each other as I would like to be friends. So tell me about yourself, what do you do for a crust or do you study instead, what are you likes/dislike, whats your fav music; books; tv shows etc, what do you do in your spare time"
Now I know for a fact that not everyone in the world is like me and to be honest thats a good thing as I get told on a regular basis I share to much of my life. I do not know why I tell everything to ppl just do. You can ask me anything you want dose not bother me but other ppl it dose so how would one approach a person to become friends..
Coz this is a problem for me I practicly know nobody and have particly no friends although I admit a lot is my fault coz I am shy when it comes to actually approaching someone espcially in a pub or similar place but for all the shynes I am as open and sharing as anybody. Any thoughts on this.........
Fucking insomnia
I am so over this not being able to sleep. I toss and turn for like hours and I swear by the time I actually get to sleep the alarm is ready to go off. Then for the bulk of the day I cant sleep either and when I do feel like it I am stuck doing shit like work which stops me. I hate this after midnight more 3 am sleep shit and then up at 6 and to make things o so much better when day light savings stops its a fucking 5 am start fucking yippe. I should never have given up the damned smokes and started this exercise shit I tell ya this whole healthy living crap sux coz i cant fucking sleep.
Damn I wish my bro would hurry up and send me a copy of CAD so I can learn how to use that at least my in ablity to sleep might be useful then and I might be able to earn some money which would be good.
.. I want to sleep damnit.
Ahh fuck this Im going for a walk i might help me sleep when I get back.
Well I think I have finally done it after 7 years of tryin to quit smoking. Its been a week now since my last drag and almost nine days since my last full cigarett. I have to admit the first couple of days I gave into the cravings just before bed and had a drag. I feel good but its weird trying to stop yourself doing something that has become so much a habbit. I am glad I hadn't been a smoker for like 20 or more years.
Next is the communitaction issues I have when it comes to talking with women. If I can fix that I might actually be able to have my first relationship instead of awkard meetings of the net or costing a fortune so i can actually finish. I wish it was easier and cheaper for a fun time of an hour or more.
Hmm I wonder what courses I should start this year. I think its time to make some serious changes in my life. Getting fit and healthy and not looking so damned ugly would be a good start and its a slow process 4 years I have been at it now. But courses for a job change I have no idea. I like lots of things - computers, creating things, massageing, the outdoors, ancient history but the big question is what will I like doing as a job. Have thought about drafting but not to sure plus getting the time off work for the course as well. Hmm lots more thought needs to go into this thats for sure.
Next is the communitaction issues I have when it comes to talking with women. If I can fix that I might actually be able to have my first relationship instead of awkard meetings of the net or costing a fortune so i can actually finish. I wish it was easier and cheaper for a fun time of an hour or more.
Hmm I wonder what courses I should start this year. I think its time to make some serious changes in my life. Getting fit and healthy and not looking so damned ugly would be a good start and its a slow process 4 years I have been at it now. But courses for a job change I have no idea. I like lots of things - computers, creating things, massageing, the outdoors, ancient history but the big question is what will I like doing as a job. Have thought about drafting but not to sure plus getting the time off work for the course as well. Hmm lots more thought needs to go into this thats for sure.
Damn it whats wrong with me. I must be one of the most fucked up individuals around I swear. After watching a TV show I am feeling even more depressed and alone then usual all because it was based around to ppl being soul mates and one dies leaving the other to carry on. And then to make me feel even better some ass hole broke into my car and stole the garage door opener to my appt complex leaving me broker then I already was. I wish I would just die and put an end to this insufferable missery that is my life. Fuck knows no one would miss me if I did die thats for sure.
Yet another day of being a loser with no money and stuck at home. What a great way to spend Friday night. Some times I really do wonder weather its worth being on this shity planet. I feel I have no friends and that even my work colleagues are only nice to me out of curiosity coz we spend 12 hours a day together. I will be surprised if I actually make it to thirty, as time goes by I feel more and more alone with nobody to talk too. Maybe I should be come a hermit and live in the hills.
Another crappy day. Im depressed yet again and feel like shit. One good thing I suppose my legs are better and I can get around. But hey that doesnt change the fact that im broke, fat, dumb and ugly. There must be something wrong with me coz I still cant make any friends and women run away from me before I can even get a chance to talk to them. So im home alone and just as big a loser as I have been all my life and no matter what I do nothing seems to change it.
