I like that...^_^



I almost didn't get to start school. Turns out my loans go kaput as soon as I turned 24 and I didn't know this until I had gone in to change out a cancelled course and was given the go around for a good hour before I was told that I wouldn't be taking a full course schedule this semester. Luckily for myself I had enough to pay for 2 classes this semester, but this leaves my current academic future in the air right now. I had the worst pit in my stomach that day. I have no idea what's in store for me, but all I know is that I need to keep my eye on the ball right now and get through this semester and also find a part-time job to start saving up for the next semester if I can't find or get anymore money through loans.

I just can't deal anymore with my school. I'd say if I could go back in time I would not have enrolled, but I don't think I can say that. I met way too many people and made so many friends because of my choices... could it have been different? Most definitely, but I don't think I'd change a thing right now... I'm not on the easiest course in life at the moment, but I'll make due with the situation I'm given and love every moment of it, I'll do my best.

I've been thinking about my next step now that I had a game completely crumble around me... I'm picking up some books to start teaching myself C++ and LUA. I think it's really important that I finish this, I really need to finish this for myself. Sucks to have something that you're so excited for and passionate about just ripped up... not this time though.



Just wanted to post some Ashley Wood work. I love his paintings and he's always a constant source of inspiration for my own work. Reminds me that I really need to get back to my oil paintings. I have this 15x30 canvas that is just sitting in my room. I might go age it a bit myself before I start work on it, but I'd like to get a painting done soon. I think I'm finally breaking through that creative block I talked about in my last blog.

Let's hope that works out. Oh yeah and I'll be seeing these guys October 1st...I'm so pumped for Neon Indian I could explode.



*Bought that for her after she went home...Even though my dumb face totally forgot to give it to her earlier, I left it grounded in this little shrubbery area, I thought it was a good idea!

So I've been going through some weird ups and downs lately. My downs are behind me though because I have nowhere to go, but up at this point and dammit that's all I see. Well there is one exception, but I'll get to that in a bit.



I pass by this cement block on my run all the time and finally took a few seconds to take a snapshot of it. Sometimes that's all it takes is a small moment of someone else's time to remind yourself of what you're still capable of and need to do a lot more of. I've had this creative mental block for a good month now. I'll sit down ready to tackle whatever task I have at hand, but then nothing comes to me. I can't spit out these thoughts into coherent pieces like I want to. It just remains stunted and floating in the back of my head. It sucks majorly because I really needed something to go right, to at least feel like there is some semblance of control that I have, but I just feel scattered. Like I don't have something here to keep me grounded. It's a terrible feeling to be stuck with and I'm not sure how to move past it.

I think that's why I signed up for this project:


The basic gist of it is that you'll have until January to fill up a sketchbook they send you and then you send it back and it will be amassed with all the other participants from all over the world. Cataloged and organized it will tour around the world for anyone and everyone who is interested to peruse your books. Reading and seeing every thought and perspective you bring to each page. I thought it was a novel idea and this really amazing thing to be apart of. Maybe if someone manages to check out the tour they'll sit down and check out my work. I haven't really gotten around to working on it yet, but I have a few ideas (don't I always), but right now I'm reading up on how to rebind the book into something with pages I can use different materials on. You can check it out HERE if you'd like.



Toro y Moi - Causers of This came out last year, but I've been spinning it non-stop lately. It reminds me of someone and whenever a track comes on good memories rush back to me and I feel happy. Like really happy. The album is just not what I normally have to listen to for work and stuff. There's something soothing about it and maybe that's why it reminds me of who it reminds me of.

I had a really good Thursday (and following Friday) last week. Took someone I'm quite fond of to see, who is perhaps the greatest living comic today, Mr. Louis CK at the Punchline. My god I was in tears when that man hit his highs and when he started to bomb and struggle with it... well it was like watching a painter freehand a piece. No pre-done line work or sense of boundary and restriction. He went for it with all that he had and either he landed in the right spot and gave us this great picture or he added to much brown and it turned to poo. But he made it work every time. Anyways though back to who I brought. I have to admit now that I totally couldn't have imagined taking anyone else to see him. Right at that moment she told me she was a fan I was just like "WAAHHHHHH?!" because I sometimes feel like there is a community of comedians who just don't get their just do from comic lovers. It could be misconstrued as pretentious yes, but hey it's true. But yeah, no one else I would have wanted to bring to that show, but her. She made me all :3 when she said yes and I yeah, I was super excited for CK, but more so that I could take her with me. I made sure that I had worked my ass off for that show, saved up and cut corners where I could and just wanted to make sure we had an awesome night. We sure did.

I'd like to go on about it, but I think you get the point dear reader. Twas a good night and we'll leave it at that. When I do move from San Francisco it will be in the top 3 of nights spent out.

That's something? Eh?

So like I said earlier about creative block. I've been stuck with it, but trying to push back with all I got. I recently started work on a completely revamped tattoo. Starting my sleeve from the top is proving the best course right now. I've got this great Sugar Skull concept that I'm sure I'll share in another blog as soon as I iron out a few things and get some consult on it.

I'm looking forward to this next semester of school. With all my heart. I forget if I mentioned it here, but the school unceremoniously cancelled the best class in my department then promptly fired the best teacher there as well. It was honestly a complete travesty and made me rethink my final year at the school. I mean my relationship with the school is already rocky enough, but this was just like poking the bear. With the heavy financial burden this has been on me and especially my parents (which my relationship with my dad is constantly strained because we're both at our wits end every semester dealing with logistical bullshit between the school and the financial aid department) that if I were to drop out and start somewhere else I wouldn't have batted an eye.

Turns out though someone up there listens because when that class was cancelled the teacher and his few students (this was just a "test class" that garnered attention throughout the school and at the professional field) had a chance to repeal and we did. I wrote this 4 page letter to the board telling them exactly what they were giving up by cancelling this class and firing the teacher. I can't lie and say that I didn't want to lash out at them like a wounded animal, but I didn't. I reserved myself and kept my words sharp and strong. And someone listened.

We got the class back, unfortunately couldn't get the teacher back, but as a consolation bonus, we were allowed to form our own class. The guys and gals who tortured themselves creatively for a year were allowed to build a class all our own that we could run and be funded by the school. Not only that, but everyone who participated in the class would be on the Honor Roll at graduation... Not too shabby if you ask me.



So I think that's it.

I think I'm falling for someone pretty hard and I'm not sure what to do about it. But that's a whole other conversation for another blog. Take care, don't do anything I wouldn't do and make sure to make time for the people that you love. It's rough out there, but those little moments will help you through the roughest of times.

bye.