into: the darkness with a heard of smurfs in a forced labor camp

makes me happy: full bottle of rum and a new pack of smokes

makes me sad: empty bottle of rum, and no smokes

5 things i can't live without: snowboard, skateboard, rum, smokes, my feet

vices: kicking smurfs, throwing varmits at smurfs, pimping out smurfette

thoughts on sg: I like it

occupation: smurf farmer

current crush: i crushed a can once

stats: 4 and 20 blackbirds

body mods: 17 tats, a few piercings

gets me hot: the sun, and waffle irons, micro waves, stoves, water heaters

favorite position: all

fantasy: to become the supreme overlord

sign: slow children at play

most humbling moment: i forgot , but i am sure it has to do with smurfs

i lost my virginity: then i died

CIGARETTES: I have black lungs

ALCOHOL: I am a complete drunkard

MY DRUG USE: Down the hatch

I AM LOOKING FOR: a woman

MY KINK FACTOR: Electrocution, clown suits, furries, oh my!

MY POLITICS: None apply, you assholes

POT: Occasionally

MY STATUS: single

I WANT: Romance, Booty, Friendship

MY PIGEONHOLES: Fuck you, I defy categories