IT HURTS!!! But I'm super happy. I FINALLY HAVE A TATTOO!! I just hope I can take good enough care of it that I don't have to deal with any icky infections or worse.
Sorry my back is so gross looking haha
Until next time
Sorry my back is so gross looking haha
Until next time
Took some time off to clear my head. Haven't been online at all, and I have been neglecting even those close to me. I get that way sometimes. Happens about once a year. But things are looking up now. The people I love have decided to continue to put up with me, so that's nice. My anxiety was really impacting every facet of my daily life, but I have found a remedy that is working for me at least temporarily.
News:
My best friend got a job and is moving a few hours away. I'm both happy for him and miserable that I'm pretty much on my own now. He was the last friend I had that didn't start a career and get up out of Dodge. I feel like I'm lagging behind, but I feel like things have to turn around eventually.
My brother graduated college and has moved back home. I am happy he's home and so proud of him. But I also really miss having my own bedroom for so many reasons. We've been working like demons to clean up the basement so one of us can declare that as our own territory. You may think, "Why not apply that energy to the job search so you can really, REALLY move out?" But SHHHHHHHHHHH. Okay? SHHHHHH.
BIGGEST NEWS:
I'm getting my first tattoo this weekend! I've wanted one for so long, and seeing all the lovely ladies and the legitimate artwork on their bodies finally inspired me to really go out there and do it. I took the time to design something that is meaningful to me, and I know I will never come to regret having be a permanent part of me down the road. I'm quite excited, and I may put up a picture or two once the process is complete and it's at least partially healed.
I guess that's everything. I have some catching up to do. I can't even begin to count the number of sets I've missed over the past month or so!
Until next time
News:
My best friend got a job and is moving a few hours away. I'm both happy for him and miserable that I'm pretty much on my own now. He was the last friend I had that didn't start a career and get up out of Dodge. I feel like I'm lagging behind, but I feel like things have to turn around eventually.
My brother graduated college and has moved back home. I am happy he's home and so proud of him. But I also really miss having my own bedroom for so many reasons. We've been working like demons to clean up the basement so one of us can declare that as our own territory. You may think, "Why not apply that energy to the job search so you can really, REALLY move out?" But SHHHHHHHHHHH. Okay? SHHHHHH.
BIGGEST NEWS:
I'm getting my first tattoo this weekend! I've wanted one for so long, and seeing all the lovely ladies and the legitimate artwork on their bodies finally inspired me to really go out there and do it. I took the time to design something that is meaningful to me, and I know I will never come to regret having be a permanent part of me down the road. I'm quite excited, and I may put up a picture or two once the process is complete and it's at least partially healed.
I guess that's everything. I have some catching up to do. I can't even begin to count the number of sets I've missed over the past month or so!
Until next time
My throat is rawer than it has ever been. I haven't shaved in a week. My stomach is still kicking me for eating nothing but absolute garbage since last Thursday.
I FEEL FANTASTIC!!!
It kind of sucks to be home now, but I wouldn't trade my experiences for the past week for anything. I can't believe I've been to 3 WrestleManias. Growing up, I would have thought that would be the one elusive show I never got to go to, but now I've been to 3!! It's absurd. Kid version of me would be so jealous and proud.
First of all, getting to hang out with my two best friends in the whole world was great. I never get to see one of them on a regular basis since he lives so far away. It was great to catch up.
Exploring the city of New York is something else. This wasn't my first time, but it still felt like a totally new experience. I got to see and do so much. It's amazing how much you can cram into a short window of time when you plan well!
On Saturday night, we attended the Hall of Fame ceremony. We'd never been to one before, but we felt like we had to this year. Mick Foley was getting inducted, and we idolized him growing up. And it was in Madison Square Garden, which is a must visit for any fan of any form of sports or entertainment. I'm not a religious person at all, and this was about as close as I'll get to visiting a church. It was great.
Sunday was WrestleMania. Had a blast even though it was pretty freaking cold! MetLife Stadium is even bigger than I thought it would be. We were 80,000 strong! The subpar reviews I'm reading confuse me a little bit. I know everything is better in person, but I didn't think it was all that bad. Then again, I'm just returning to wrestling after taking 18 months off, so I'm probably less jaded. How about you stop over analyzing and just enjoy the damn show? It's A LOT better that way! Trust me.
Monday was Raw. That crowd was ELECTRIC let me tell you. And Dolph Ziggler cashed in to become champ! So glad I talked my friends into making one last stop to complete the trip. Totally worth it. Easily the best crowd I've ever been a part of. Still chanting Fandango's theme in my head haha.
So, yeah. A good time was had by all. I'm hoping we can pool our resources together and do it again next year. NEW ORLEANS OR BUST!!
I might post pictures at some point, but I don't really know how haha
I FEEL FANTASTIC!!!
It kind of sucks to be home now, but I wouldn't trade my experiences for the past week for anything. I can't believe I've been to 3 WrestleManias. Growing up, I would have thought that would be the one elusive show I never got to go to, but now I've been to 3!! It's absurd. Kid version of me would be so jealous and proud.
First of all, getting to hang out with my two best friends in the whole world was great. I never get to see one of them on a regular basis since he lives so far away. It was great to catch up.
Exploring the city of New York is something else. This wasn't my first time, but it still felt like a totally new experience. I got to see and do so much. It's amazing how much you can cram into a short window of time when you plan well!
On Saturday night, we attended the Hall of Fame ceremony. We'd never been to one before, but we felt like we had to this year. Mick Foley was getting inducted, and we idolized him growing up. And it was in Madison Square Garden, which is a must visit for any fan of any form of sports or entertainment. I'm not a religious person at all, and this was about as close as I'll get to visiting a church. It was great.
Sunday was WrestleMania. Had a blast even though it was pretty freaking cold! MetLife Stadium is even bigger than I thought it would be. We were 80,000 strong! The subpar reviews I'm reading confuse me a little bit. I know everything is better in person, but I didn't think it was all that bad. Then again, I'm just returning to wrestling after taking 18 months off, so I'm probably less jaded. How about you stop over analyzing and just enjoy the damn show? It's A LOT better that way! Trust me.
Monday was Raw. That crowd was ELECTRIC let me tell you. And Dolph Ziggler cashed in to become champ! So glad I talked my friends into making one last stop to complete the trip. Totally worth it. Easily the best crowd I've ever been a part of. Still chanting Fandango's theme in my head haha.
So, yeah. A good time was had by all. I'm hoping we can pool our resources together and do it again next year. NEW ORLEANS OR BUST!!
I might post pictures at some point, but I don't really know how haha
Raw tonight in DC in the Verizon Center. Last one before WrestleMania, and then I hit the road for the New York/New Jersey area on Thursday. I'm so freaking excited. Been waiting for this week since last November, and I can't believe it's finally here! Sure, it's all downhill after this, but I still can't wait. Aaahhhhh!!!!
My brick of a stone age phone finally crapped out on Wednesday, so I got a new phone yesterday. Verizon said I was due for an upgrade anyway, so it was "free." I got an iPhone 4. My first ever smartphone. I'm pretty excited, I guess. Not thrilled about my bill being about $60-70 higher every month, but I suppose that's the price of progress, right?
Any must have app recommendations out there?
Any must have app recommendations out there?
My grandmother's service was this morning. It was appropriately beautiful and it was really nice to see the (almost) entirety of the extended family. The kind of day that makes you both sad and happy. And also leaves me wondering why we don't get together more often.
But now it's time to look forward to WrestleMania season. Tomorrow, I'm set to attend a show at my alma mater's arena, which is exciting for me because it's the first time we've ever had one there. While I was at school, I petitioned WWE to hold shows here in Fairfax, but it never happened while I was a student. It's four years too late, now, but I'll take it!
April 1st, I'll be in DC for Raw, and on the 4th, I leave for New York!! I couldn't be more excited. It'll be a great weekend in the city whether WrestleMania is good or not.
And after everything me and my family has experienced over the past year, it's high time someone got a break.
But now it's time to look forward to WrestleMania season. Tomorrow, I'm set to attend a show at my alma mater's arena, which is exciting for me because it's the first time we've ever had one there. While I was at school, I petitioned WWE to hold shows here in Fairfax, but it never happened while I was a student. It's four years too late, now, but I'll take it!
April 1st, I'll be in DC for Raw, and on the 4th, I leave for New York!! I couldn't be more excited. It'll be a great weekend in the city whether WrestleMania is good or not.
And after everything me and my family has experienced over the past year, it's high time someone got a break.
Lost my grandma last night. She'd been in the nursing home for the past 11 months, and finally succumbed to the various illnesses and ailments that were relentlessly attacking her system. I'm sad, but at the same time, I'm also a bit relieved because I hope she can find peace now.
She lived to be 87, and May would have been her 63rd wedding anniversary. She raised four very capable and successful children, so I'm sure she had no complaints on her way out.
I'll miss her. She opened her doors to my family when my mom left my father and we had nowhere to go. We ended up never leaving. In a lot of ways, she was a surrogate parent for me growing up since my grandfather was often out with his own affairs (in more ways than one) and my mom had to hold down a couple jobs so I'd always have clothes and meals and everything.
I figured I'd have more to say, but the shock still hasn't worn off, I guess. She's been a major part of my life for the past 18 years, and it's really hard to believe she's not here anymore.
RIP Grandma
She lived to be 87, and May would have been her 63rd wedding anniversary. She raised four very capable and successful children, so I'm sure she had no complaints on her way out.
I'll miss her. She opened her doors to my family when my mom left my father and we had nowhere to go. We ended up never leaving. In a lot of ways, she was a surrogate parent for me growing up since my grandfather was often out with his own affairs (in more ways than one) and my mom had to hold down a couple jobs so I'd always have clothes and meals and everything.
I figured I'd have more to say, but the shock still hasn't worn off, I guess. She's been a major part of my life for the past 18 years, and it's really hard to believe she's not here anymore.
RIP Grandma
Saw my ex in a restaurant I was in today. She looked really happy with her new beau. Overheard them making plans for both their wedding and their new apartment.
It's been a few years now, and I really am over everything she put me through, but still...
I always thought I had it in me to be the bigger man and be happy for her and all that good stuff. I could have gone over and said hi at least. I should have. But I couldn't. It's not in me.
Fuck both of them haha
It's been a few years now, and I really am over everything she put me through, but still...
I always thought I had it in me to be the bigger man and be happy for her and all that good stuff. I could have gone over and said hi at least. I should have. But I couldn't. It's not in me.
Fuck both of them haha
January 12 and 13 are two days that hold a weird kind of significance for me for the same, and yet very different, reasons.
January 12 is my Dad's birthday and January 13 is my Mom's. Weird coincidence, right? You'd almost think they were somehow cosmically destined to cross paths or something like that. And, obviously, they did or else I wouldn't be writing this.
January 12 will forever serve as a reminder of weakness.
My dad always had a drinking problem. As a little kid, I had no idea. All I knew was that he was just a very different person on the weekends. Monday through Friday, he'd go to work, come home, we'd have dinner, and he'd watch TV or read the paper. There wasn't a whole lot of interaction going on that I can recall. He was always kind of distant, and I have always been very much in my own head.
On the weekends, he'd get up early and mow the lawn. This isn't totally unusual for a suburban family, I'm sure. It's just that it took hours on end, and he'd come inside and just be useless. It wasn't until much later that I learned that he was really just sitting in the garage and drinking. It was then that he became Mr. Hyde. Sometimes, if we were lucky, he'd just be mean and verbally abusive. He's a pretty tall man, and of course, as a kid, he was terrifying. Other times, if you even just happened to be looking at him at the wrong moment, the belt would come out. No one was safe. Not me, not my brother, not my mom. We just lived with it.
Once he was forced into retirement in 1995 (he's 12 years older than my mom. He still wasn't retirement age by any stretch, but he was an alcoholic with no ambition or self confidence, so the pharmacy he worked at washed its hands of him), we were no longer granted a Monday to Friday reprieve. Hell came to roost every day.
Eventually, my mom couldn't take it any more. In September, a week before my 8th birthday, she packed me, my brother, and all the belongings she felt safe retrieving into the family car and we left. My dad probably would have put up more of a fight, but he was passed out drunk.
I've only heard from him three times since then. A phone call on our first Christmas apart. A generic card with no handwritten message on my high school graduation. A generic card with no handwritten message on my college graduation. That's it. Apparently, it falls on me if I want to have a relationship with him. But how can I be cordial to a man who chose booze over his family? It's not in me.
January 13 will forever serve as a reminder of strength.
My mom packed us into a car and drove us to Northern Virginia where we still reside. She's had some help from her parents, but for the most part, she's done this all on her own. There are times where I don't know how she found the reserves to get us through the tough times, but she has. We've never had a whole lot, but I've always had a roof over my head, 3 meals a day, clean clothes to wear, and both me and my brother got to go to college. All on her own without so much as a "Why me?" I never had to look far to find my hero.
There are times when I think the hand I've been dealt is unfair. There are many instances in my life where I know I could have benefited from having a father figure to mold me into a better person. There are times when I lash out unfairly at others just because of my frustration. And January 12 and 13 are the two days that come every year that really make me sit back and take an inventory, and think about how I ended up where I am.
I've always been a bit amused when my friends complain about their parents. Somehow, I've ended up with a group of people who have a two parent household (or in one case, a situation where the divorced couple remains very friendly and both parents are very much a part of his life). And, sometimes, even when I know I'm just supposed to listen and empathize, I find myself saying, "At least you have two parents who fucking care." Maybe that's unfair. Maybe my dad is sitting in a dark room in his farmhouse in Illinois and regretting the life he chose. I don't know. I assume if he'd ever gotten clean that he would have reached out. Maybe he's ashamed. Or bitter. Or angry. I guess I'll never know.
Happy birthday, mom and dad
January 12 is my Dad's birthday and January 13 is my Mom's. Weird coincidence, right? You'd almost think they were somehow cosmically destined to cross paths or something like that. And, obviously, they did or else I wouldn't be writing this.
January 12 will forever serve as a reminder of weakness.
My dad always had a drinking problem. As a little kid, I had no idea. All I knew was that he was just a very different person on the weekends. Monday through Friday, he'd go to work, come home, we'd have dinner, and he'd watch TV or read the paper. There wasn't a whole lot of interaction going on that I can recall. He was always kind of distant, and I have always been very much in my own head.
On the weekends, he'd get up early and mow the lawn. This isn't totally unusual for a suburban family, I'm sure. It's just that it took hours on end, and he'd come inside and just be useless. It wasn't until much later that I learned that he was really just sitting in the garage and drinking. It was then that he became Mr. Hyde. Sometimes, if we were lucky, he'd just be mean and verbally abusive. He's a pretty tall man, and of course, as a kid, he was terrifying. Other times, if you even just happened to be looking at him at the wrong moment, the belt would come out. No one was safe. Not me, not my brother, not my mom. We just lived with it.
Once he was forced into retirement in 1995 (he's 12 years older than my mom. He still wasn't retirement age by any stretch, but he was an alcoholic with no ambition or self confidence, so the pharmacy he worked at washed its hands of him), we were no longer granted a Monday to Friday reprieve. Hell came to roost every day.
Eventually, my mom couldn't take it any more. In September, a week before my 8th birthday, she packed me, my brother, and all the belongings she felt safe retrieving into the family car and we left. My dad probably would have put up more of a fight, but he was passed out drunk.
I've only heard from him three times since then. A phone call on our first Christmas apart. A generic card with no handwritten message on my high school graduation. A generic card with no handwritten message on my college graduation. That's it. Apparently, it falls on me if I want to have a relationship with him. But how can I be cordial to a man who chose booze over his family? It's not in me.
January 13 will forever serve as a reminder of strength.
My mom packed us into a car and drove us to Northern Virginia where we still reside. She's had some help from her parents, but for the most part, she's done this all on her own. There are times where I don't know how she found the reserves to get us through the tough times, but she has. We've never had a whole lot, but I've always had a roof over my head, 3 meals a day, clean clothes to wear, and both me and my brother got to go to college. All on her own without so much as a "Why me?" I never had to look far to find my hero.
There are times when I think the hand I've been dealt is unfair. There are many instances in my life where I know I could have benefited from having a father figure to mold me into a better person. There are times when I lash out unfairly at others just because of my frustration. And January 12 and 13 are the two days that come every year that really make me sit back and take an inventory, and think about how I ended up where I am.
I've always been a bit amused when my friends complain about their parents. Somehow, I've ended up with a group of people who have a two parent household (or in one case, a situation where the divorced couple remains very friendly and both parents are very much a part of his life). And, sometimes, even when I know I'm just supposed to listen and empathize, I find myself saying, "At least you have two parents who fucking care." Maybe that's unfair. Maybe my dad is sitting in a dark room in his farmhouse in Illinois and regretting the life he chose. I don't know. I assume if he'd ever gotten clean that he would have reached out. Maybe he's ashamed. Or bitter. Or angry. I guess I'll never know.
Happy birthday, mom and dad
