I'm posting now but only because I'm unemployed.
Anyway go dykes!
I am still very disorganized. My "other" girlfriend left to NYC. She left me the big daddy of butt toys and a stolen copy of the original New Wave Hookers as a gift. It's not THE original with the under-aged Traci Lords but it is a DVD of the pre-Eon version. I am going to take precious care of it.
I tried the butt toy, a version of the Aneros called the Progasm. It was a crazy experience and I wrote about it here. In the Aneros forum under "Crying" (which I did not do- thank you very much) I discovered a sea shanty someone quoted called "The Pilot".
On such a night the sea engulphed
My father's lifeless form;
My only brother's boat went down
In just so wild a storm;
And such, perhaps, may be my fate,
But still I say to thee,
Fear not but trust in Providence,
Wherever thou mayst be.
I want to do make a local band to perform heavy metal sea shanties.
I have spent the last two work days trying to decide if I want a Network Attached Storage device so I can career a little bit towards informatics work while on the job as a light bulb changer at a internet spam company. BY that I mean I could develop a website or two, and/or web tools during my downtime at work and connect to my NAS via FTP (without exposing my fancy gaming computer). I am at my comfort level limit for debt, and yet at this time I would have to use credit to move this purchase 3 months in advance, at which point I will have more financial aid available.
This is the best NAS for me. It has RAID 1. It has Hot swapping. It has a large community in the support works. It is pretty fast. It can run Drupal and PHP. It is the cheapest I can find that seems like it will be useful, not become a brick in 1 day after warrantee, and doesn't suck in bad ways.The NetGear RND2150:
<interlude>
So I just talked to C2 in NYC, the "other" woman, on the cell and "New Wave Hookers" must have gotten misplaced in the wrong dvd case and placed in the free porn box at Good Vibrations and then given to me all by some fateful mistake. Amazing!
I wonder what a gourmet fortune cookie would taste like?
I think I may get my $700 back from the crackhead that stole a convenience check to pay some kind of utility bill.
A conceptual artist is visiting today. He may stay with us. He is kind of a jerk sometimes but still loved by my cousin.
I was looking into a dynasty trust to create a rural estate home for my eccentric relatives to centralize their identity. I don't have any money but if I can collect from family over my lifetime...
Why am I writing this journal? Aren't we always trying to forget our past?
Yesterday I was trying to remember what I did for Halloween of 2007 but I could not. I can't remember! My girlfriend can't remember either. I remember the tragedies of the latter half of 2007. My cousins lost finger, the many family deaths especially that of my gf's mentally ill father, my sister's husbands father's cancer by which time I was exhausted. Perhaps that is why I can not remember Halloween but I am also I am quite sure that we both suffer from ADD judging by the way we live our lives. I decided I needed to begin journalling for personal reasons.
There are too many valuable moments that are passing by. My amazing father is getting very old. My mother who has fought an incredible battle in her life is also very old and yet they are so far from my daily awareness. I have been fortunate to continue to have expanding life experiences but if they become forgotten what a waste it will be! Already I don't remember much of my Hare Krishna years (87-93). My life working at the Options Exchange is fading (95-99). My previous marriage may remain memorable because of the incredible destruction of it, but the good parts are likely to fade too.
It makes sense for me to do it here on this website. I'm already here. I have probably my longest journal on record here. If in the past I was exploring my creepiness and my relationship with post-feminism, and trying to figure out my sexual qualities, it was also then important to try to show my best face to get the sexual-social information I wanted. I wanted a positive, affirming response.
I don't need that any more. And yet I remain here simply because I have made good friends here before. And I like the quality of the discourse here, compared to most websites where there are so many tremendously stupidly biased people that belabor every convo. That is not the case here. Most people are on their better behavior because there are cute women here. Also I like looking at nude women. This has become my Playboy, read the good articles and fap to the pictures.
As of today I have two girlfriends. Two poly girlfriends. I have been doing this since October sometime (can't remember specifically!
). I have been with C for 4 years; met her on this website. I live with her. C2, her initial is also "C", was in my Statistics Class at community college but she dropped out. C2 was a Good Vibrations employee when I met her and I have changed in a couple of ways since spending time with her. She leaves in about two weeks for NYC and I am fine with that (I think).I dropped out of Calculus. I attend school full time and I had been trending as a better student every semester, until this one. As a student I collapsed this semester, not physically but in terms of academic performance. It meant not applying to transfer to a University this year which was both a relief and a source of stress. I think it was the lack of a creative interest in any of my courses this semester.
My plan had been to study Informatics with a back-up plan to do CS, which was mostly a pragmatic choice with some creative possibilities. Also I had been becoming addicted to video games this semester. Suddenly going to school in London seems possible and studying Games Theory AKA Ludology seems plausible and concurrent with C's interests in studying Fashion Journalism there. I can combine my interest in Games as art and my self-identified skill at critical interpretation, all while living in a gorgeous city and country (and star on CCTV
) .Today C has been making me feel pretty worried. I can see that she is really experiencing anxiety.
I can't think of anything else about the present that I may want to remember. I presented the context, and a brief on what is occupying me right now.
This Saturday I went to watch a co-worker, Jen, jell-o wrestle with another co-worker also named Jen. They called themselves the jenbots and they both liked me.
We flirted well enough, both jen's and I, and the jello wrestling performance was hot but they both got so hammered that there was no point in hooking-up anymore. We were supposed to meet up at another club. I was hoping they would make it there but they never made it, neither of them.
Yes, since they are co-workers I'll see them again and can continue to work on them. The thing that is significant about 4 strikes in a row was that for four weekends I had my bad ass bedroom all to myself, mostly, as a feature as soon as I could get someone in it. If I could have gotten someone into my home my cred would have shot up. But alas not a single female had that privilege.
My baby comes home this Sunday and all that promise of using my home as a hook is mostly over. Now it is much less likely to be a place to bring a date unless it is a 3some date, and how rare are those? I know. That's what I am saying.
So as far as women loving my bed, that game is over for a while.
much love
It feels great..but it's a difficult feeling to share.
Supposedly I have at least 160 IQ because I can see the pretty lady dance clockwise AND counterclockwise. I'd say my IQ is a 169 judging by that sexy figure!
It's a little harder to go from Right to Left brain and takes a minute of patience. Going back Right is a snap.
If you see her going clockwise then you use your right brain, and you use your left brain if you see her going counterclockwise.
My cousin Roro was making it turn into a nothingness of contradictory impulses. Crazy teenagers!
Anyway it doesn't mean any of those things. It's just a plain old optical illusion that you can manipulate. Link
The decisive article for it.Link
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