hmm. been away a while...i have to say the siren song of naked girls hasn't been much of a call to dash myself against rocks to see them. the new site layout is a little....busy. is it me?

how are all of you? what monumental amazing things have you done since...(gasp) november 2005??!! Yikes, i guess i'm not one for updates, am i? as for me, still plugging along with work, home, and all else that falls between. turned 30 without any fanfare or shirt rending. i sort of feel unchanged, save for the small feeling that the other leg has wound up over the fence, and all i have left to do is lose my balance and slide to the other side. growing up is an uncomfortable, lengthy process.

help! i've been sucked into myspace!

well, and it's mpt helping that i'm getting home from work most nights at 7pm. too tired to look at pictures of naked women...must...get...rest...

i have to facillitate a meeting this morning...i never quite feel like i'm ready to do that, even when i've prepared for hours. i guess it's stage fright. a lot is going on with work and i feel strangely hopeful that all will work out fine, and maybe my life will start to exhibit some form of balance again. wouldn't that be a dream...

i watched sin city the other night..i have to say while i founf it visually stunning, it was a bit hard to suspend my disbelief and treat it like a graphic novel- even with all its ridiculousness. i also watched a movie called downfall. it was about the last days of hitler. strange how movies can depict any sort of person in such a way that you actually can be moved to feel empathy for them. i felt pretty unsettled by that.

i'm saddened that the site feels forced to take pictures off due to their "questionable nature." it just goes to show how the government can infiltrate every part of your life, even those parts you would consider wholly private, like this site is to me. there are far more "damaging" sites out there, all you have to do to find them is use a search engine for crying out loud.

i just got back from an 8 mile hike out at the Santa Rosa plateaus. it's a state protected wildlife preserve in wildomar/murrieta, and it was all but deserted today. i went out with an ipod, and two bottles of water, and told myself i was going to hike until i was tired. about half way through i started getting very freaked out and i felt like someone was watching/following me. i was out by myself, but i hadn't passed anyone for miles. i stopped listening to music, and told myself that i was safer if i could hear something sneaking up on me. what i thought i would protect myself with is anyone's guess...i did see a pack of coyotes that stopped and observed me for quite some time, and when i started clapping my hands, they moved away. on my way back in to the visitors center i saw a lone coyote, that hunched down when it had seen me turn my head to look at it. i think i've seen far too many movies to really appreciate being alone in the middle of nowhere..i always fear the worst.

i went to see 'the exorcism of emily rose' the other day...i liked it for what it was worth, but i did think that if you are religious, especially catholic, that movie might mess you up a bit. i was on a long walk the other day with a friend of mine and we were talking about being young and playing with ouija boards at slumber parties...how could something that parker brothers makes actually work? strangely enough, we both had stories to tell that made us swear off ever using one again.

so what about you all- have you ever used a ouija board, and if so, did it work? have you ever experienced anything else that seemed supernatural?

back to the grind tomorrow...so much for the "productive" vacation...i was a total slacker!

I spent last night at my best friend's house (yes the one previously mentioned that is moving away in 2 months), and attended a dinner party of sorts. i drank way too much patron tequila to be guarded emotionally, and i felt intensely sad as i drove home. i'm sure it doesn't help that for the last couple of days i've been listening to reports about the aftermath of hurricane katrina on my drive to and from san diego (about an hour usually). that whole mess makes me feel useless and edgy- something needs to be done besides a simple donation. but what?

matt and i went on a 6 mile hike at the santa rosa plateaus on sunday morning. i'm pretty proud of him- he actually kept up the whole time. i need to get all of my training walks in, the 3 day breast cancer walk is right around the corner.

question of the week: what's the nicest thing you've ever done for someone that they didn't know you were responsible for? (mine is cleaning a friends house while she was gone on vacation...she always left the back door unlocked, and i wanted her to have a peaceful homecoming instead of a stressful one. to this day she thinks her sister in law did it and won't admit it.)

have a good week lovlies....

six feet under is over. i know it's completely irrational to get attached to a tv show but i was.

i have a strange feeling of dread about the near future that i can't seem to shake..i wonder what's up? obviously there are a lot of changes that are happening around me that i don't have much control of...but i wonder when the other shoe is going to drop?


i need to start being passionate about something soon or i'm going to go mad.

i haven't made a new friend in such a long time. sure, i've gotten to know a slew of casual and not so casual acquaintances...but a friend is someone i would consider that i would know for the rest of my life, that has altered me in some intangible way, just by knowing them.

someone that makes you feel something, just by being around them. someone that you feel connected to, somehow.

i made my first friend in years 10 months ago. she's moving to georgia in 4 weeks and i feel pretty inconsolable. it's hard to enjoy the time i have left, without having that time tinged with a deep sense of impending loss.

i know, i know....cheer up emo girl. it just hurts more than i thought it would, mainly because she got in. that doesn't happen very often. it seems it's easier to build bricks and mortar than extend your hand at times.

funny how my idiosyncrasies work.

Dear annual budgeting meeting,
next year can you not last 10 hours and cause me to spork my own eyes out in sheer frustration?

regards,
torihoney

the carwash peeps hurt my car last saturday. they were going to get away with it, but luckily for me, i saw the damage happening, and called them on their shit. why does this sort of stuff always happen to me at the carwash?

"NO, I said CLEAN the car, not BREAK it...yeah, i know it's funny when you mix those two up..."

So it's basically eleventy billion degrees in the inland empire these days. it's getting to the point that i almost have to sleep with the air con on all night, or i'm going to have to hook up misters in my bedroom. i don't think the carpets are going to hold up to that somehow. summer sucks where i live, but all the other seasons are divine, weather wise. though seasonal changes are subtle, true enough, leaves actually DO fall off the trees in southern california.

pinkie swear on that.

i miss this site and the fun that's to be had on it. must get work dialed in and reap the rewards of having free time and a rapier wit

i have a meeting with my boss in 45 minutes. i have this feeling i'm going to be lectured, basically for being myself and treating those i lead like rational, logical adults. (translation: i'm not a micromanager). well, i'm just going to have to sit there and take it.

the comic con was great! upside: lots of cool swag and things to see. the downside: the almost palpable desperation on boys (and men) that hadn't had female contact in what i would assume was a very long time. consequently, most of the women there were ogled if they had eyes that tracked with each other and most of their teeth.

i've been invited to a pool party today, and while it is hotter than blazes here, the thought of putting on a swimsuit in my current state of doughy goodness makes me want to . hopefully someday i'll be able to wear one and tell myself that no one is judging or critisizing me, but me.

sounds a little too well adjusted for most people i know. so what are you all doing to beat the heat? i have considered carrying around one of those personal fans and a spray bottle, but i think people in corporate america would frown on that.

comic convention this weekend....

get yer geek on!

too much time, not enough to do...wait a minute, reverse that. 2 days of meetings makes torihoney a dull girl. i'm mentally spent, yet i know i should get back to work.

but the bed calls to me, and "real simple" showed up in my mailbox...wonder which will win out- leisure vs. work?

done and done.

p.s. dear sun,
please stop shining so close to the inland empire. i am close to commiting a hate crime against the teen girls in halter tops. maybe we could turn down the heat a skoshe?

kthnx,
t