i am so
so
sosososososos
fucking PMS-ing right now



if i had an axe
nobody would have a head

ok
another update. WHOOOAAAAA

i just need to say something really quickly before I go to bed so I can get it off my chest and not be soo incredibly pissy:

ever had one of those freinds that you know is your soul mate, but fuck do they know how to push buttons without even realizing it

so i've gained weight
a lot
which is the result of medication i am on which is because of my thyroid issue which is because of birth control and now my ass is the size of a water buffalo's and I'm about as dangerous as a hippopotomous
i spelled that wrong
hippos are also the most dangerous animal on the planet
google it, i'm right. it will surprise you as it did me

anyways so friend gingerly points out i'm fat
suh_weet
i've got skin like a football so I can take it
but only so much man
i have agym membership, and because i pulled something in my ankle i haven't been able to go so this crazy ass shit has just been taking over my body and covering me in what feels like a two inch layer of fat

at least i will be warm this winter

its ok, you can laugh at that one. I am.

so anyways
shes also got this thing where she'll do me a fave and then bug me. like for instance this most recent event...this i pod thinger her work has on sale. i asked her to grab one for me cuz she has one in blue. she says ok but i need cashola I say ok cashola in hand on thursday sweet cheeks
all is well
for about five minutes
dude. girl bugs me at least twice a day to make sure i remember the money
what does she think i am? an irresponsible punk?
i think not bitch
the last time she did this was when i bought a phone she no longer used.. the new slider generation for sprint. nice camera on that baby. loooved it. but it broke a month after i had it. i pay $100. i should have punched her in the face when she was bugging me for the money. but i didnt i paid her regardless. and two weeks later it broke. i should have asked for it back, but i could very well have been repsonsible for breaking this phone that was in all reality pristine on the outside
anyways
point being

according to my best friend on the planet i am an irresponsible heffer

only my parents can call me fat and irresponsible





guh
did you get the point? her hassling for the money is what made me mad. and her continued pointing out that my pants size is well into double digits and i think im going to jump off the appletree business park 1 1/2 floor high roof. and break my knee caps just to get attention because i said so.


GAAAAAH

new computer soon! eeep
!

It has happened



HP has finally decided they are going to send me a new computer

coming within 2-3 weeks to a SG land near you....

This bitch, and all ofher annoying, whiney blogs.

Thats right
and my amazing vocabulary and spelling skills for you bitches


get excited for it.
fuck, make a count down



i just urinated my pants in happiness




peas fuckers

hey chaz my computer IS STILL EFFED

but im just going to get a new one

anywho.
im sitting in an overly matchy matchy blue outfit in a brand new sports bra which is supporting these puppies rather fantastically
the only thing that keeps these in control are joes hands. wabam!

so yea
life ish good

someone send me links to some of the exceptionally fantastical sets that have popped up over the past few months
ive been so out of it and i just dont have the time to scroll back over the past 5 months
k thanks

love you lots
i need to get fucked
alter

i love waking up and actually feeling refreshed.

not from nights of tossing and turning from noise and obnoxiousness


i will be on SG more once I get my computer reaplaced.


shipment number 3 did nothing but waste more of my time.

so yea.. hi!

i really hate moving.
like a lot


esp into my parents basement
i have however finished the painting of the gigantic room. and i must say, i have a great color pallet working down there.
hopefully everything will fit and it will be comfortable and not clustered or cluttery


i still need a door so i can move the cats on over there.
my face which is normally tanned and smooth as a babies ass has been put under so much stress this past week that its turned into pimple land
horrible i tell you, horrible

i hatezits
arrrgbhhhgsdjbgfew;gjnwougn


its about 9am? i think.. im sitting in my comfy jeans and a sports bra in my shambles of an aodrable apartment letting my fat belly stick out, pouting staring at the shit strewn about the room awaiting placement in a box or tote of some sort
and the garbage pile

does anyone ever feel like puking after you move?
in the past five years i have moved.......computing.......well this makes it 6 moves in five years... and i am really over it

but i always am full of wonderment at how much shit i've collected. i have a pretty considerable garbage pile and ihavent even really started packing.
its quite rediculous i tell you, rediculous


alright my zitty faced gut hanging out nasty ass needs to go to her parents and paint a closet/cabinet and do a little touch up work.. then i'll be back here

feel free to leave me something encouraging to make me feel good
i like feeling good
i feel not so good right now



eeep

computer still broken
just got it back for third time
fuuuuck



work is goodish
joe is great
my carts are fuzzy and adorable

i heart SNES super mario bros and family fued


i'm moving into my parents house
in the basement
i'm financial unstable

and some south buffalo white trash tried stealing my car...
three failed attempts in one night

fuck south buffalo
fuck it in the ass


im moving back in with my parents

my computer has just returned from its second visit to HP repairs

i turned it on and it froze on first boot
it worked for 45 minutes and froze again
then it started up and some crazy stuff happened and some scan thinger

now it seems to be cool
im giving it until monday. if it freezes once im sending it back and demanding a new fucking laptop

all is well

im stealing form lexi for a moment here
1. danny did his crazy shit two weeks ago, and then decided to text my sister last week telling her h still cant get me out of his head and he knew he fucked up when he broke up with me last year. he then followed this up by texting her and telling her he has somethings i left at his place and doesnt want to throw them out without letting me know. im hoping this means he's moving.
then i can get a one bedroom in the complex like ive wanted to
he just trying to find a way to get me to come over there and either beg me back again, be a total dick or murder me and chop me up w sporks

2.I've fallen asleep on my couch almost every night Joe hasn't slept over. It's a mighty comfy, beaten in leather couch.
Though I need to sleep in my bed more often.

3. How I've found myself missing this felllow:

he's my little brother, and even though I've just seen him a couple of months ago, it feels like another 2 years has passed already

4. Work has been boring my face off as of lately. Granted things have been going well and I am content, I would much rather have the enthusiasm I used to have for it. I feel worthless and as if I'm wasting my life away. How am I supposed to have a family working on that kind of money? I CANNOT be part of that 40% of americans that hate their job. I CANNOT

5. I did that about three weeks ago. I am talented. I took a whole chunk out of my finger. Now it's just this white thing, still so tender.
I swear I've had too much polish in me lately. heh


6. In the midst of all the hubub, this is how I spent my 4th..

notice my partriotic socks. OOOHHH YEEEAAAA
you know you want it

7. It's been 8 years, and I had to be reminded by his sisters facebook status.
I am ashamed.
I deserve to be beaten with a potato sack full of bricks.
I fail her nearly every year

8. Contrary to the picture, my boyfreind actually has really, really manly legs. I thoroughly enjoy this picture, and thusly had to share.

Note: This is my bathroom.
The lubriderm is mine.
No I do not have a penis.

9. Has anyone missed me?



10. Sometimes beauty is so simple, and nearly missed.


Hopefully I will be far more entertaining in the coming days, weeks months. rather than lame like I have been over the past days weeks and months


Question:
I need to quit smoking.
Will someone help? And dont suggest the patch or the gum or lozenges. I have IBS and the latter 2 make me very ill. The patch is too high dosed and makes me dizzy.

heres a quick run down
joe and i got back together june 1st
three weeks before that i told my ex danny (who is crazy) that i can't deal with him in my life at all, even as friends. he depresses me to the extremes.
he didnt take that well

for the past nearly three months hes been stalking me. how you ask?
driving to my house, waiting for me to come home, or leave my house. rediculous amounts of texting and calls which forced me to change my number not too long ago
the letteres in my mailbox
the calls at work
about a month ago i dropped off a bunch of stuff that i had no right to keep. things from iraq and such or things i thought he may want, cuz i sure as shit didnt
and i gave him about 5 minutes. it was the same thing. i know what to do, i can make you happy. i can look past this thing with you and joe. we can work out. i want to marry you. im sorry it took me so long to realize my mistakes.
yadayada
the next sunday he went to my parents and spent two hours trying to convince them to talk to me. my parents spent two hours trying to convince him to see a therapist.
he saw a therapist the next day. she told him to write me a letter apologizing for his behavior. he gave it to my parents, and his therapists number. she works for the VA, military shit. yada yada
sunday night he tried to appeal to my sister and brother in law. they told him i was in love (exageration) and very happy. i work with joe. this and that. my sister decided it was her job to tell him whatever she could to piss him off
he was very angry by the end of the conversation
i didnt know about him talk to my mom, the letter, the therapist or talking to my sister until this past sunday.
my best friend texted me telling me my sister was slinging bull shit to danny and he was really pissed off
i called him monday morning *blocked id* to find out what was going on. he told me about my mom , my sister
he was pissed off for some reason.
he was under the impression apparently, that he and i were dating since january!! WHAT THE HELLL!!!!!!
uh, no.
so everything my sister told him apparently was me cheating. keep in mind i only hung out with danny about a dozen times between january and end of april. i havent otherwise seen him since, except for when i gave him the box of stuff a few weeks ago
but we were dating?
figure that out
anyways
he spent monday going to his therapist bc he said if he didnt he was going to come to my work on one of my breaks and beat the living fuck out of me. *scary!**super scary* (hes put his hands on me before... i have filed a domestic dispute report against him.. last year actually) then he spent the rest of the day tracking down Joe's number
yea. he called him.
i had plans to hang out with joe after work, he was supposed to call me by 6. he didnt so i called him. he saiod comeo ver and call him when im downstairs
i caleld him three times before he answered and he came downstairs.
over the next half hour he explained that danny had called him, sam grazi gave him his number ( a mutual friend) and he told him all sorts of disgusting things
joe's heart was breaking right in front of me
i thought my big man was serously going to break down into tears
i figured it was over
danny was trelling him all sorts of things.
how he fucked me how i like it that im a dirty slut w stds that ive been fucking danny since joe and i got back together. that danny and i have been together since january. hes just been to my hjouse within the pat two weeks.
and a lot of fucked up shit joe refused to repeat.
but danny fucked up
he told him to call my sister, she will veruify.
uh no she didnt
cuz she didnt know what the hell danny was talking about
so joe said im hurting bc the possibility makes me sick
but i know hes just grasping for straws because hes angry and wants you
but he knows i have you
and im not giving you up
*whew* i thought he was going to fall for dannys bs. i forget that joe is SMART
so joe came to my house monday night we had some sexualizing, all was well. tho ive beenw rried the things danny said woul rot in his head, but all seems well
anyways that night and tues morning he kept texting joe and my sister; straight up harassment
he called my work also
ugh
i called his therapist and filled her in on the happenings, and his history
he stopped shortly thereafter
*thank God*

i still filed harassment charges for calling my work
i couldnt get an order of protection cuz i would have had to have him arrested and i couldnt justify having him arrested
so the police department went through the marine corps and called his commanding officer.
theyre dealing with it
*evil gin*


but all is well.
joe and i are good
yay!


***edit
oh yea, and my computer broke on july 3rd, so yea.
thats the REAL reason i've been like, MIA online for the past near month.
ewww, i know
and its still not fixed
if anyone wants to spend the money and buy me a desktop so i can throw this fucker out the window, I would greatly appreciate it

My computeri s NOT fixed. In fact it keeps randomly freezing. They replaced my hard drive and re-imaged it according to the paper I got... whatever.
its freezing up randomly. i can't get it to repeat by doing the same this is froze at before...so it's not like a certain program was causing it. it's really frustrating. im just assuming its going to freeze in any second. horribly annoying.
joe and i got blizted last night.
we just sat in my apartment.. him drinking cpt morgan private stock on the rocks.. and me with my cpt morgan tattoo and coke.
nom nom nom
we got rediculously drunk, had rediculously rediculous amazing sex and then passed the fuck out
at some point I had a dream about chazgasm
yea thats right bitch. and we had good sex too. totally inappropriate. and you wrote a book dude. lol
sooo fucking random.

there is so much for me to updateyou guys on but i just don't have the attentino span to do it right now.
its good and juicy though, i assure you of that.