Hey blog!

So it's been a long time and a lot has happened since my last entry but let's focus on recent events.

I'm kind of tired should probably be sleeping but I feel like typing in this box.
I realized that I need more friends but I have no idea how to make new friends, I have friends from college but that's about it (and their numbers are declining over time). As for work friends all my coworkers are a lot older then me. If anyone reads this do you have any friend making tips?

Hmmm I went on a date recently which went pretty good but she wants to be just friends for now (she said she was busy with school and stuff when I first started talking to here but thought... I don't know) which may be fine but I was excited at the possibility of a new relationship.

I found my new apartment (my roommates which are a couple want there own place which I totally understand) it's by Lansdowne station which seems kind of sketchy but it is a 3 min walk to the subway so I can always jump on the train to somewhere else.

Also at work another person quit and someone else got reassigned to the testing dept. (he wasn't good at tech support I guess) so we are down to 7 people from 10 just recently so will be a fair bit more work.

Blah sorry for complaining blog, stay positive me!

Bye

Alright!

I have a new job don't know if I mentioned that yet it's at a small IT company, it kind of sucks right now and it takes like 1hr 10min to get there by transit but meh, mostly sucks cuz we don't have too much work now so I'm doing telemarketing which I hate. I really want a job were I fee la bit more useful like actually doing something worth while. but meh, so ya I'm really lonely lately and my sinus infection is still lingering so some days I'm very very tired because of it.

but ya

*hugs*

bye

time for an update...

Well I'm living back in Toronto now at Yonge and Lawrance with my roomate Dave. I am currently jobless I had a job in Markham but got let go so I'm looking for something new. I had an interview yesterday and I'll find out later today if I got the job or not... the interview went okay but it could have been better.

I've been pretty moody lately mostly sad a lot, I'm feeling tired a lot of the time I might still have a sinus infection or it may be something else.

I'm getting pretty sick of being single now I want someone to cuddle with and talk to about anything, right now that isn't happening though... maybe soon it will.


Well it's time for sleep,

night

Well I guess I'll make a new post, I'll start with things that are at the front of my mind right now.
I had been thinking that having a relationship with Carly would probably not work too well because we live kinda far from eachother but I thought that it could work out well you never know but ya she sent me an email that went like.

this:
Sorry I was unable to go out to the bar this weekend. I heard you were pretty wasted though lol. I was attempting to write an essay all weekend and well it didn't work very well lol. I pretty much am screwed for my paper but meh. Anyways I hope you had a great Easter. In reply to the email you sent me forever ago lol. Sorry for the late reply btw. I had a great time in Toronto with you and love talking with you over the phone and msn and I like our friendship. Where things are right now I would like to keep our relationship as friends. I was offered a job in Windsor for the summer which might make it difficult if anything were to happen past friends. I hope we can still be friends

Now this is kind of tough to decipher fully and well I won't ask her about it but ya... it's ethier she agrees with what I was thinking and the distance is the main problem or that does not really have too much to do with it and she is just saying that to so I feel a bit better, ah well I like her a lot but there shall be other girls in the future.

speaking of other girls my friends Liz after hearing that Carly wanted to be just friends said she had to introduce me to her friend Megan she didn't before because I was talking about Carly... this is the first time a girl has told me that she has to introduce me to one of her friends and it made me feel good. She sent me Megan's msn contact and we have talked a little she seems nice and good looking. She is a little young though at 18 but oh well really my only issue with that is not being able to go to bars/clubs with her. Since it fits ok within the good side of the creepiness equation it's ok

I'd say the ideal age for me right now for a partner is probably 20 - 25

CREEPINESS EQUATION

Your age/2 + 7 If the persons age is lower then that it is creepy!

so

22/2 + 7 = 18

now that is kind of on the low side any lower would be unacceptable so I'll have to see how it goes, she is in college and I'd have to say any girl in college is probably okay.

oh I don't think I mentioned this before, I am moving to my sisters on the 25th of April which is also the day of my graduation! Should be interesting since she is kind of a neat freak and well I'm not. The only person I know right close by is Liz so I'll probably see her a few times.

Oh I got really drunk on Saturday night, heh I don't remember like 4 hours at the bar but my friends were there so it was most likely okay. Then after I got a cab ride home to my house but couldn't manage to open the door so I went around back to try the back door... and then after that failed I might have took a lay down or something well the cops were there soon after could be they just saw me cuz the police station is close by or someone called them but anyway they helped me get in my house by knocking on the door and ringing the doorbell lots. My sister came to the door to see them and me and they told her what happened then I went to bed.

well I''m off to finish dishes now! farewell!

Hmmm my last post didn't work... hmmm just noticed now wrote it a while ago, the short version of it is I got punched in the face at a bar for no reason at all. Then after that I had to go to the hospital because I was really lightheaded and dizzy they told me I had anxiety after doing a test to make sure I was ok physically... thenj a bit after that I was feeling a lot of anxiety one night so I called my sister and she took me to the hospital I started crying on the way there they took blood there and gave me some larazopan to take whenever I need to. I stayed at my sisters that weekend and cried a few more times there. I am doing better now and haven't needed to take larazopan for about a week.

blah now that's quickly summed up.

I have been talking to a girl for a while from my hometown (well she goes to college elsewhere her parents live there like mine) talking to her on the phone and msn and I think hitting it off pretty well. We decided that she should come to To to see me... and this Thursday she did her and her friend amy drove here amy went to go see a friend the first night and ya. Me and Carly watched some movies at my place then cuddled a bit at night, I donno how much she was into it but ya I put my arm around her and she didn't seem to have an issue with it then she turned over and put her arm around me and we were super close . On Friday Carly came to class with me (had database ETP, and law) it was pretty cool she seemed to like it and got to meet a could of my friends. After class amy picked us up, and they asked Dave to come too, I didn't really want him to come heck I didn't really want amy to come and kind of wanted it to be just me and carly but meh amy was her ride here and dave was in the apt. when we left so it would be rude not to. We went to the spaghetti factory which was pretty cool then to the steam whistle brewery for a few free samples and a tour which was kind of neat. Took us a while to get home then ya. That night me and carly slept in the same be again I kissed that night she kissed back but didn't seem that into it... maybe because she was sleepy, maybe not I don't know. She did initiate a kiss a couple times though so that is good lots of closeness that night too . it sounds like I will see her next on Easter when we are both gone home. But I don't think that will give me a chance to share a bed with her which I loved!

I have been wondering about her all day the I wonder if kind of stuff I just have to focus on the positive things, she came to TO to see me and she kissed me those are both pretty good so yep I'll try to be positive.

bye blog

New post... hmmm now that I started writing I don't want too that much anymore... hmmm

according to a facebook quiz Penis or Vagina I am a Vagina

that I found pretty funny it isn't the first time a quiz has guess me as female but it is the first time one has called me a vagina.

Hmmmm I started having a Sex and the City marathon I'm a couple episodes into the 3rd season now... it is really good but I think it is messing with my perception of women... like they have a lot of sex... wow and talk about it pretty well constant are women really like this? hmmm

I also might have a girl to come with me to the SG bowling thing but it is really unsure right now, she seemed interested though.Well I'm off to make something to eat I'm not that hungry but I haven't ate today so I probably should.

Blarg blag blog!!!

Alright I haven't written in this thing for a long while. Alright. Today I am being lazy. I am sick. My nose is really stuffed up so there are used Kleenexes all over my desk. They will get put into the garbage at some point but I want to do the dishes and clean the kitchen then make food before I tackle my bedroom. Jason asked me if I wanted to go to the bar by his house I think it is called the Duke and Daisy and it is crazy cheap so we go there but I decided I was too sick and just wanted to stay home. Tomorrow though i am going out with Andie, this will be the first time meeting her... I'm just interested in her as friends right now anyway but I'm still super excited!!! ummm yesterday I went to see the movie Enchanted with Marybeth... the movie was great but we didn't talk much and it was a bit awkward hmmmm alright well on the 4th me and Greg and Trevor go together had a few beers at Greg's then went to the Copper Mug and Royal Tavern. It was nice catching up with Trevor since I haven't talked to him since August. Ya so had a few beers at the Copper Mug then off to the Royal. talked to many people at the Royal that I knew from highschool and one guy Alex that I was friends with in grade 6. I was also talking to Carly, she is very cute and such and really pretty ideal looks wise for me and she seems very nice too but lives in Windsor so ya forget that I guess. lol she was very helpful when I would come back from the washroom to find the rest of the group had moved from their last location. so before that.... New years I went to Greg's there was like 20 or so people there at one point, the night started out with Chinese pizza (the place is owned by a Chinese family and you can get spring rolls too!) and poker with 5 guys. I lost at poker but it was still very fun. Except one guy that I just met found out that Greg was related kind of to a guy that was gay... well this guy does not like gay people at all which kinda pissed us all off Al seemed the most upset... but ya not a whole lot we could do in that situation. Ya so lots of people were at the party and we were all super drunk, did some dancing in Greg's rec room which was super fun! I went to gregs a few times before that and also another part but it wasn't too exciting. Well I guess I'll mention xmas dinner at my dads, I got there and he was already pretty drunk of course so we just continued getting drunk and smoking for quite a while. Dad was drunk but not too drunk so it was enjoyable. Bonnie's kids were also there it was nice chatted with them a bit... at like 12 we ate some xmas dinner. xmas dinner at Mom's was how it always is which I love. Me and my sisters were in the kitchen helping and my step-siblings were in the living room I didn't talk to them much like always except to put limewire pro on Ian's laptop. dinner was good as always and after the step-siblings went home we all played UNO but if you lost you had to take a shot, first off it was sourpuss then some vodka and OJ (noone wanted to drink straight vodka), was great times. The next day I went to Meme and Paps's for dinner... more turkey and such. Aunt Anne and Mike were there with Ricky and Pat and his GF showed up later on. I had a nice chat with my cousin Rick about random things and metal music. Hmmm ya I decided it has been too long since I've been with a lady... and I can't just have sex with someone I don't care about which is annoying and conflicting. but anyway I'm back in TO now of course and I am now off to do dishes.

Bye
wow Kleenexes is in the Firefox spell check.

Hey Blog

I'm just sitting here listening to some progulus.com currently Yes is playing.

hmmm I don't think I blogged about camping yet so I shall do that

so ya me Bobby and Jason went camping at Cosh (sp?) lake it is like 45 minutes from Jason's parents house in havelock (by peterbourough) so ya. we got there about 10PM on Thursday (the 4th) and then had to canoe across a marsh which was a pain cuz the flashlight wasn't helping too much we kept hitting super shallow parts and weeds and land. so ya that night we threw down a couple beers each smoked a bit and ya was a good time. The next day we went walking in the woods for quite a while took some pictures and such and visited the mine that is up there just to see where to noise was coming from. We drank alot that nigh jason was right smashed smoked some weed and had a good night overall. Saturday was pretty shitty cuz it kept raining on and off. On sunday Jason's dad picked us up. We went to jason's parents unpacked all the stuff and then picked up jason's friend Jess at work we then drove Bobby to the bus station because he wanted to go back to TO because there was some electronic show he wanted to go to. I then had thanksgiving dinner with Jason's family was pretty good. Had a couple beer then went over to Jess's house and had dinner there too. Then some people cam over and decided that we should go to the dump and light propane tanks on fire.... These people definitely weren't winners that's for sure, was pretty neat to see a huge fire though. After that we made our way back to Jess's house then Jason's parents everyone else was in bed by that time so we drank some more beer and rocked out to the music on the radio. After that we decided to go in the pool. so I stripped down to my briefs, Jason to his boxers and Jess to a shirt..... she decided to keep the shirt on probably because she was wearing a thong. After that we went into the hot tub (there's a hot tub room in the basement) was pretty awesome. After that we sat on the couch in the basement watching TV all still in our undies and such. Jason's brother came down and talked for a bit then Jess fell asleep and we talked to Jason's brother for a long while then decided to go for a walk. So we got some whiskey in a bottle mixed and then started walking. Jason's brother left when Jason decided he wanted to wake up a friend of his by throwing stuff at his window. I didn't think it was the best idea either but meh. We ended up waking up Jason's friend's brother and he seemed sleepy and angry and informed us it was 6 in the morning. We went home after that and all slept on a pull out couch... me, Jason and Jess. Was awkward for me when Jason and Jess started ummmmm doing something not quite sure what, awkward though.

next day went back to TO.

Yep on Tuesday I am getting together with Lisa... met her through plentyoffish.com she seems like a cool lady. Hope it goes well. Then on Thursday I am going bowling!!! w00t! should be good times David is coming with me. Then on Sunday I am going to the Zombie March I think.

So ya I was talking to Amanda again yesterday.... I know it's probably not a good thing to do for my well being but I do so anyway. I cried for the first time in a while when I thought about her. I was thinking though really I have started making peace (just starting... a while to go yet) with not being able to be with her. the biggest problem now is feeling like shit about myself... I don't want to sound like I think I'm an amazing (because I for sure don't feel like that) guy but really I tried my hardest I can't point to one thing and be like well I was an ass there so it makes sense, I tried my best and gave it my all...... it would be a lot easier if I didn't.

hmmm just installed mscorefonts on linux..... suicidegirls looks proper now.

Yep.

I'm getting kind of fed up with dating sites instead of just dealing with it I'm worry to much and they make me more insecure about myself. Like if I message someone and they don't reply or something I start to have issues.... what's wrong with me am I ugly kind of issues. hmmm but I feel I want to go on dates and I fail at meeting people not on the net so I guess that is how it has to be. So ya I'm going to see Sonata Arctica on the 24th I'm looking forward to this and also I am going to the symphony with David and Bobby (and some more bobby friends) (on like the 27 or 28th) I forget what will be played but I think I will enjoy it regardless. For the final project at school we are redoing the TTC website... we've all realized that it is horrible over the years and we aim to make it not horrible this will be quite a bit of work but we have until April to get it done, we haven't approached anyone at the TTC yet with the idea but we plan to develop most of it in such a way that it could easily be adapted for any transit system.

Alright well I'm off to go get some money out of the bank then I feel like getting someting at Tim Hortons probably an English Toffee and a Boston Cream doughnut.