So ya I was talking to Amanda again yesterday.... I know it's probably not a good thing to do for my well being but I do so anyway. I cried for the first time in a while when I thought about her. I was thinking though really I have started making peace (just starting... a while to go yet) with not being able to be with her. the biggest problem now is feeling like shit about myself... I don't want to sound like I think I'm an amazing (because I for sure don't feel like that) guy but really I tried my hardest I can't point to one thing and be like well I was an ass there so it makes sense, I tried my best and gave it my all...... it would be a lot easier if I didn't.