1. What phobia do you have?
I am freaked about the idea of my hands being damaged and hurt. I have actually gotten sick to my stomach even considering it.
2. How did your phobia come about?/Or how do you think it came about?
I really have no idea why or where it came from.
3. If you could replace your phobia with any other, which one would it be?
I would not want to swap out. I feel kinda justified with my current one.
4. What phobia would you wish on your worst enemy? Why.
Would somebody really do that.? That is kinda twisted. Can that be my new phobia? People hoping and wishing bad things on others.
5. What phobia do you not wish on you worst enemy? Why.
Where are people getting all these enemies at? Do I need to be accepting applications and vetting enemies?
6. If you had to be part of some reality show, which would it be?
I actually applied to be a part of a reality show that never aired. The goal was to do intern type stuff in the music industry and do it better than the people you were competing against. The Prize was being mentored by Lyor Cohen of Def Jam.
7. What would your challenge be for "Fear Factor".
I don’t even remember that show enough to answer this
8. Which reality show do you enjoy watching?
Project Runway – Yeah, I said it.
9. Which reality show would you never be caught dead watching?
Jersey Douchcanoes
10. What's so fascinating about reality shows anyway?
Some focus on real honest talented people.
11. What is your favorite way to travel (ship, place, car, train, etc)?
Never traveled by Train nor by Ship. I have warm feelings for both car and plane. That is especially true if it is just the wife and I.
12. Who is your favorite person to travel with?
The wife.
13. What is the best vacation you've ever taken?
Right now my favorite is when we stayed in Long Beach, CA May of last year. Hoping to top that in August.
14. Where will your next vacation be to?
We are looking at the Carolina Coastline outside of Charleston, SC.
15. If you had the time and money to go anywhere you wanted, where would you go?
Hawaii first and then onto Japan.

Dear boss and TV star,
You have been mentally and emotionally absent for around ten months. Now you have decided to play manager for less than a week before you leave for three weeks.

FUCK OFF! Signed, Everybody.

United

What are your overall views on marriage? My view on marriage is from the inside.
Are you married/I am/ is marriage something you want? Yeah…clearly.
Do you like the symbolism of wedding rings? Yes, it may not be PC or enlightened, but it is like a “whoa there” to anybody eyeballing your spouse. Why or why not? Covered that.
What do you think is the best age, ideally, to get married? (In general.) Man, you cannot put an age on that: some are still children in their 40s. Some people cannot take care of themselves much less take on a partner at any age. Other people have all the ducks in a row much earlier in life.
Which is worse: shotgun wedding at 17, or meeting your partner when you’re in your sixties? Why are both of those bad? Screw you judgmental question person.

1. Which song or musical artist always reminds you of a specific person you know?
Be Bop A Lula reminds me of Dad
2. Which song or artist is your guilty pleasure?
Which one do I choose? Justin Timberlake, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, Ke$ha, Nicki Minaj, Rhianna, they all have some of my money. I have championed Rebecca Black too.
3. There was once a time when every TV show had a theme song. Which is your favorite?
I really like the theme song for 'Chuck' but I like most of Cake's music. If we are going from my childhood I think I'd have to give the nod to 'Different Strokes'.
4. Which song can you absolutely not stand?
Pretty much anything Nickleback does. If my loathing of those guys could be converted to energy then it would solve all foreign oil issues.
5. What is your personal theme song?
White and Nerdy by Weird Al?

The 30th song in your playlist:
Manhattan by Kings of Leon off of Only By The Night
A city that starts with C in your state:
Collinsville
Your boss' (or favorite teacher's) name:
Thomas
The second book on your bookshelf:
Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets
Your 7th Twitter friend:
@JulieChin

So, if my math is correct (and I went to Collinsville Public Schools so it very well may not be correct in the slightest) Monday would have been my parents 48 wedding anniversary. I had my own demons to slay that day and thus didn't even give it a thought until that evening. I consider this to be a bit of a victory. I have really been working on just letting go. I am going to butcher this story but here goes: A man in a large and crowded waiting room comes in alone. He tells a joke loud enough for the room to hear. The entire room gives way to roaring laughter. The man tells the exact same joke with very little difference in inflection and tone a few minutes later. Several people still laugh although some a bit halfheartedly. A few minutes later again he tells the same joke. Even fewer people laugh and some look either concerned or annoyed. The man continues to wait a few minutes and tell the joke until not one person laughs. At this point the man addresses everyone again and says in so many words: You can let go of the joy of that joke? It affects you less and less over time. How many of you use some awful or tragic memory to open up pain and grief long after it should have that effect on you? I often bemoan the fact that people put so much energy and time into placing blame instead of fixing a problem. Then I asked myself how many ghost I have lingering. How much time and energy have I wasted holding on to people or events that are no longer there? Some really not there anymore, as in dead, or in several cases I hold on to a person that no longer exist in essence. That girl I had a crush on when I was 16 years old physically is the mother of 4 and married a doctor. Emotionally and truly the person I longed to be with is gone forever. Amy will never be back. Time, circumstance, progress, and what I know for me and I hope for her is personal growth has killed that girl. Just as well, the 16 year old ‘me’ is gone forever too. Hell, I even enjoy killing off earlier versions of myself. I hope that each time it is an upgrade. That is at least my aim. I am to evolve and become more everytime I kill the 'me' that you know. Some people cannot keep up with the changes both subtle and glaring. Some don't deserve to. I am lucky in that she is there as a partner in my murders and cheers me on each time. I acknowledge the past and take note of lessons learned but never want to be shackled with woes and regrets of what could have or should have been and what or who once was.

Today I am just sideways. Pretty early in the day I was of the opinion of: "Fuck This". I somewhat successfully pulled off convincing the wife all was well. Granted, I only had to front for about an hour. All that hour she was otherwise engaged with her own start of the day's business. Not really sure why I am running afoul of the days flow. I suspect that I may have entered the personal inventory that comes about from an impending birthday. For some reason people (myself included) tend to compare themselves to other people to make themselves feel less accomplished. For instance, When my father was 35: I was born, he had already sired 3 other kids, raised 2 of those, become a millionaire, built and moved into his customized dream home, and turned his back on corporate America to be his own boss a few times. I on the other hand: no kids, don't make enough money to get a credit card, live in a townhouse (that is an apartment with a mortgage), worked for several corporations and currently am at a supposed non-profit that is not really because we have municipal overlords. Not shitting you here. I spent about 35 minutes this morning wondering aloud and internally if there was a way to get paid to simply be married and hang out with my wife. I would gladly work overtime on that job. What is the dress code for a stay at home hubby? Dads wear cargo shorts, polo shirts, and gas station sunglasses. I have seen them. Maybe they give you the rules when you pick up the kid from the maternity ward at the hospital. Like "Okay, Dad. Here is the kid. Do you have the car seat installed? Good. Now, here is your new dress code pamphlet. You have 6 months to comply and must maintain until all children have reached puberty. At that point is does not matter what you wear as you will embarrass your children no matter. If Johnny Depp's daughters are embarrassed by him then the rest of us mere mortals have neither a prayer nor a whisper of hope. Now, go pull around the SUV or minivan to pick up the mother of your child and the constant reminder that you will die sooner rather than later. I sometimes go out in disguise as a Dad for a few reasons: it is comfy, it is easy, and I am a mostly white, straight, male and thus I am expected to be fashion illiterate and not cool in any way shape or form. We have been trying to start a family lately. I mention this because it leads us to the thought that has been reoccurring over and over through the day. What do I want to do before I am a father? What will seem like a poor choice after? What seems fun and interesting now that will seem like a waste of money and possibly dangerous after. First thought is a motorcycle. I think that is the first thing that makes the list of things that I would do without kids that I will not do with kids. You know what medical examiners call motorcyclists that don’t wear helmets? Organ donors. Once you bring another life into the world and start a family you are not just looking out for you and your spouse. You have a responsibility to that new life. Everything you do from that moment of conception is not just for the two of you. I believe you must be careful what you wish for. As of late I have been wishing for a change in my life.

1.) What smell brings you a fond memory?
A mix of cut grass and dust makes me think of little league football. That time of year when most of the grass is dead and brown from lack of water and brutal heat. People still mow because they feel like they have to cut what little bit is still alive but mostly they are just kicking up dust and dirt. August and early September before the mornings turn colder and the air gets crisp.
2.) What song makes you nostalgic?
Be Bop A Lula - by Gene Vincent
3.) What taste reminds you of school?
Nasty pizza. The kind with the really cheap sauce that makes Chef Boy Ar Dee sauce seem primo-italaliano. Pizza Day in the cafeteria was always celebrated because Heck Yes Pizza. Then you got this rectangle of something that seemed to be more preservatives than actual food. But they swear it it pizza so you eat every single bite because Heck Yes Pizza.
4.) Which season makes you remember the most things in your past?
Fall and early winter. Spring always has me looking forward. I have a really hard time living in the moment in spring. It seems like a majority of my thoughts are "next week" or "before long". Fall and early winter makes me slow a bit and look around and where I am and where I have come from. Summer is a blur every year. Feels like from May Day to Labor Day I can hardly catch my breath.
5.) Which memory do you treasure?
There are so many I hold dear that I don't know which to name. I got a new one just last night.

# Most inspirational quote for you? When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad, and that is my religion. Abraham Lincoln
# Favorite inspirational film? Pump Up The Volume
# Who has inspired you, and why? Batman - The dedication and discipline of that guy goes to levels where you really just question his sanity.
# If you were to die tomorrow and would have ONE saying that would live on forever, what would you leave behind? The only control you really have is how you let things effect you.
# What inspires you to continue, when you feel the least motivated (in whatever goal you are trying to accomplish)? The wife.

Words!

1. What word irks you everytime you hear someone say it?
Anyway. I have no doubt that at one time this word was used as verbal shorthand for "What was I saying" or "Back to the matter at hand". Now, I rarely ever hear "Anyway" used in a way that is not rude. It has become a verbal sneer. The speaker of said word has just perceived themselves to have been interrupted or slighted in some way and "Anyway" is their weapon. That one word, mostly spoken with a snarky tone, says "How dare you. We were all focused on me just a moment ago and you just walked between me and the spotlight." Anyway has become: You don't matter to me. I am more important than you. Shut your mouth when I am talking. This is a monologue. My life is not an ensemble show. There is one star. Me.
2. What is your favorite word?
Balance
3. What does it mean?
What a great question to ponder. Really one word can mean different things to different people given time, cultural twist, experience, on and on. To me, at this moment of life, balance is what I strive for. I was raised in a house of "all or nothing". Admirable in work ethic, loyalty, and discipline. Not so helpful when applied to other areas of life. I tend to see many situations in life as a pendulum. If you swing too far one side or the other than you just are not cutting it. I try to make the movements fluid and close to center. Growing up in an environment of absolutes has made me wary of those that live that way because I have viewed that living in a life of absolutes is not healthy for anyone. If you swing the arm of the pendulum too far out you might cut the people around you and do damage you didn't intend.
4. What word do you say far too often?
More like a phrase. "No Worries". I say this far too much. I hear my pirate name is "No Worries Willy". I really should cut back but at this point it has kinda become a personal mantra. "No Worries" for me is shorthand for "Everything is gonna be okay" "We got this" "No Problem" "Next"
5. Name three words you think other people overuse:
This last week, and I am including myself in the guilty, "Winning". "Epic" and "Awesome" need to go into a timeout for awhile.