I can give birth. Anyone that says differently is wrong, because there is no difference between men and women. So, somebody go and get me pregnant.

So CATPIKE rocked spring break like it was a two dollar whore. We rocked it hard. That concert was awesome. Thumbtacks were in my head. Ben got to feel the magic of thumbtacks as well. Awesome, awesome awesome.

CATPIKE rocks so hard that I died yesterday. Man we rock. Pure waves of heavy metal roll of our sweaty bodies and blast people right out of their pants. In fact, I went to some lame tattoo guy to ask about prices and he freaked out at me because CATPIKE rocks too hard. So fuck that asshole, I don't give two shits about his "art". Fuck him and his dumb kid. CATPIKE will eat said kid and shit the remains into his jerk-mouth. Bondage Centurian.........

Well boobies, I'm back. yaaaay. CATPIKE is fucking awesome. And don't you fuckin deny it. Or I'll eat you and shit you out and eat you again. I have a centurion helmet. that makes me 5 times better than god.

bye bye pretty boobies. i'll miss you. you were such nice boobies. so pretty and firm and "NUT" oops. i'll also miss awesome wordy's from awesome people completely unbiased and not opinionated with viable ideas that don't scream at anyone else for not agreeing with them.......




one of those is sarcastic, can you figure out which one. i'll give you a hint, i'm not talking about the boobies....

R.I.P Johnny Cash.

CATPIKE is so fucking awesome that we make the heads of small children explode. i once saw CATPIKE totally uppercut this guy's balls, just because he said hello. CATPIKE doesn't fuck around. we'll fight any band we think we can beat. hell, we'll fight anyONE we think we can beat. including animals and small children. CATPIKE doesn't care. i once paid a goat to blow me, because i'm in CATPIKE. ben once shit on a ham sammich and ate it, all because someone asked us a question. CATPIKE is a demon lord/master and a DOS operating system. we rule!!

no more raccoon. but at least CATPIKE is the best thing going today. and you can take that to the bank.

so the battle of the bands came and went. and CATPIKE put on the best showing we could, given the circumstances. not that i'm complaining about not winning are anything. nor am i trying to make excuses. nothing really worked for us from the start of the battle so we did what we do best, flip out and mock everyone. my favorite part was saying, "awww, we're not punk." because most, 6 in fact, of the bands were punk ripoffs that had nothing original or interesting. i also liked pointing out a little kid while singing, "CATPIKE, eats kids." i had a blast despite any of our problems and the crowd really got into us. which almost sickens me. so now thw question is, where does CATPIKE go now? and the answer is, WHERE EVER THE FUCK WE WANT CAUSE WE'RE FUCKING CATPIKE AND WILL ROCK YOUR FACE OFF, GOD DAMMIT. and thats where i yell, "CATPIKE has monster hogs." you know what i mean. wheeeeeeeee.

i almost forgot. i got to completely school this 17 year old puke. not only was he not prepared for my, "fist her ass" remark, but he got scared when i played basketball my way.(no rules, no holds barred, where i knocked ben on his ass) and then told him i got my asshole licked in thailand by a thai whore. he said i bothered him and i couldn't care less. fucking kids. thats why we have a song called, "just because you're seventeen doesn't mean you can't still be aborted."

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAPUKE!!!!
CATPIKE is in the battle of the bands on july 4th. what in the blue fuck is that all about. something bad is going to happen. something horrible that will cause death and destruction to everyone. AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!