I have made a disturbing observation recently (well disturbing to me, others probably wouldn't give a shit). Most of the women I know, am friends with, etc. have hideous feet! I don't mean just ugly feet, I mean huge, gnarly, man-feet (kinda like Seinfeld's Man-hands, except feet).

I noticed this the last night at a pub where I met up with some friends. I was coming back from the john and all I saw was this huge ugly foot sticking out from the booth where we were sitting. I thought it was my buddy Tim's foot, but when I came around the side, I found out it belonged to one of the girls with us!

Anyway, I was kind of thrown off guard, but then I looked around and noticed that most of the women there just had huge ass ugly "Man-Feet"! My friend Z was one of the few women around us that actually had like "cute feet". I think she wears a size 5 (of course she's like 5 zero and maybe weighs a buck). But still, all the other girls are around 5'4" to 5'8".

Ok, I wasn't going to say anything at that point, but Z noticed that I looked confused after this observation and asked what was up. I told her about how I mistook the girls foot for Tim's. Before I could say "Don't look", "Don't say anything", whatever, she yells out "Jesus Christ, you got some huge feet!! God, what are those like a size 13?!!"

I thought the woman was going to be embarrassed or at least mortified, but no! These chicks spent the next 45 minutes comparing each others feet, trying on each others shoes, and laughin it all up! They even got chicks from other tables in on it! It was all pretty surreal. I think I'm going to have nighmares about the whole event.

Tallies: The chick with the biggest foot, size 14. The chick with the smallest foot, size 4. The most common size was 9.

So...how's everyone been? In keeping with the theme of this post, what's your shoe size ladies?

Big hugs and sloppy kissed

Been having very strange dreams lately. Keep having dreams of being alone and hearing people yelling for me, but of course I can't find them. And keep having dreams that girl is standing by my bed. That one kind of gives me the creeps and makes me nervous. All the people that know me (family members, girl friends and such) know not to try to wake me without calling out to me first. If you don't, you're likely to get punched or kicked. I don't know why but tend to go into protective mode when waken up suddenly.

So how's everyone doing. A teen chick told me I had a nice ass yesterday. What's the best inappropriate compliment you've gotten lately or ever?

Sloppy kisses

Hope everyone had a good 4th! For me it was lots of food and tons of smoke (fireworks). My parents live in an area where you can see seven or eight different "big" fireworks displays. And people that live around them had great stuff too.

Are all parts of the country showing the Six Flags commercial with the creepy looking guy that looks like Uncle Junior from the Sopranos? For some reason, I find those commercials fascinating. I don't get it.

Experience Update: I still have not have made out with a chick with a pierced tongue (my on-going obsession, corrected Missd's post). Any volunteers? I'm a very good kisser . I just can't seem to find any women around here, with a pierced tongue, that I have any desire to makeout with at all.

Prayers to David Bowie. He had to have emergency heart surgery.

Nakie hugs all around

I HATE reality shows. I know I done this scene before but I have to say it again; I fucking hate reality shows. What makes me hate them even worse? When reality shows take over the topics of conversations between people. Tonight I got so sick over hearing about them that I walked out of a party a good friend of mine was having.

There was about two minutes of chit-chat, then all I heard the rest of the 45 minutes I was there was crap about the Bachelor, Who Wants to Marry a Crack Whore, The Ultimate Gay test, blah, blah, blah, (I wish I could spell a fart noise). When the topic turned to the Real World, I couldn't take anymore and left.

Was going to see Prince on Monday, but that was cancelled. Lovely.

I need some good times.

The funniest movie I have seen in years: Dodgeball. I haven't laughed that much at a movie in a long time!

A little bit of music trivia for those interested. Trying to think of the name of a song, probably from '60s or early '70s with the phrase "lightening is striking again". Know it's not much to go on, but if anyone has any ideas, give us a note.

big sloppy kisses to all.

Question: When you ask someone to help you out with something, do you give them shit and berate them as they're doing this favor? Let's take out the factor that this was a major impostion on the person doing the favor that you pleaded with them for two days because no one else would help you. Or that the person doing the favor had to rearrange their schedule to accommodate you.

Another question: Has anyone ever pissed you off and hurt you so badly that you basically left them in a lurch, pretty much just turned your back, walked away (because you knew that if you stuck around, you would of physically assaulted them regardless of their gender) and didn't bother to listen to any apologies or attempts at them? Let's just say you didn't want a fucking them to do with them at all anymore.

Now let's go back to the person of the first question: Do you really think that an apology that pretty much sounds like you're trying to tell the person you severely hurt, humilated, and just out and out pissed off that they should accept that they are going to be treated extremely shitty by you or that you have some kind of priviledge to treat them poorly because you for some twisted reason feel some kind of superiority is by any means going to evoke any kind of reconcilaiton?

So...how's everyone else?

Viewing suggestion: I been wanting to see the show "Dead Like Me" for a long time but was too cheap to get Showtime. Well cool thing, it's out on DVD. Almost through the second disc and it's definitely cool.

Well I'm back. Unfortunately it was not a pleasure trip. Had to go to Perth, Scotland for my uncles funeral. He was 68 and my favorite uncle. I'm going to miss him a great deal. He never could get the time differences right and would usually call me at 3:00 or 4:00 am once a week.

It was great to see people I haven't seen in a few years despite the occassion and to have my daughter go with me. The poor kid had a hard time understanding some of our family and kept having to ask people to repeat things. But I noticed on the trip back that the brogue had seeped into her speech a bit and she didn't even notice. A British lady sitting next to us asked her what part of Scotland she was from and she says, "I'm from Chicago! Oh god Dad, I picked up that accent!".

As funerals go, it was probably the most elaborate ceremony I have ever been involved with in my life. The entire "clan", which is probably about 300 hundred people, was in full "clan" colors and attire. It's been a few years since I've worn a kilt and my daughter got a kick out of it (even though every other male there was wearing the same thing). She also got a klyie made for herself which she is quite proud of and she's been wearing the bonnet since the funeral (she says is cool, ).

I got to get online a few times while we were there, never very long though.

I wish I could of had time to meet up with some UKSG folks but time just didn't allow and I had to arrange things very quickly.

Anyway, how's everyone else doing?

Takin a trip. See you in a few days.

Time to update I guess. Been putting it off...well... because there hasn't been anything really note worthy to write about. I have had two emergency dental appointments and on top of that, I have a major sinus infection that is killing me. The sinuses required two doctor visits as well and four different scripts. Yeah codine! Enough whining.

Ladies, the comments were great! I knew I could count on you . Some a little "dirtier" than others but still yummy. Keep 'em comin!

I have also gotten to the point where it is very hard to keep up with all the people on my friends list. So if you don't hear from me frequently, don't think I'm just warehousing names.

Movies I have seen very recently: Euro Trip (eh), The Day After Tomorrow (cheesy, but great effects), Shrek II (funny), Monster ( ), Return of the King (I could watch all the movies over and over), Bubba Ho-Tep (Bruce Campbell is in it, what do you think).

Sex I've had recently: (that means none).

OK, this time I want dirty. And mean porn style dirty. On your marks, get set, go!!

Big sloppy kisses

Sopranos fans, did ya catch it last night?! That Adrianna chick finally got wacked by Silvio! I've been waiting for that to happen. I knew that Christopher would never hill it for her. Well, one show left. Personally, I think the whole family is going to get it (Tony, the wife, the kids, that fat sister[I hate that bitch], the uncle that looks like the old man from the Six Flags commercials[those commercials creep me out], Christopher, and it's going to be done with Sam Peckinpaw effects[slow and gorey].

Anyway....yeah....hmmm.....(scratches ass)..... ...... .......not much goin on.....really......wow I suck.....
OHH!! Some chick flashed her (we'll just say) chest (because there wasn't much else there) at me at a pub Saturday and got really pissed when I just basically didn't react at all. Like I said, there wasn't much to cheer about... ....That's...about....it....

Hugs and gropes all around. Write something sexy in my journal. I'm bored.