I'm feeling like when I got on the plane heading to boot camp and like the day I finally drove off post for the last time. Its a feeling of not knowing what new rhythms my life is going to be made up of. I'm so used to being able to put my arm around Kelly when I've climbed into bed. I'm used to the casual conversation and the cooperative parenting. I know a little about where I'm going and understand that their are opportunities to make parts of my life more fruitful. I know I'm going alone into that. And along with all that I'm mixed with feelings of sadness over the breakup and relief to be rid of the hateful feeling I often get coming from her. I feel apprehension about my laziness that is my Achilles heel. I wish I had the chance for more quiet moments to get a feel for my direction; just let my mind process this shit.

So that's the snap shot of how I am.