Oh man, this is funniest thing I have seen in a very, very long time

10 straight minutes of gloaty goodness

Liberals never learn. Ever notice that?

I have also noticed that liberalism is another aspect of conformity.

I hate this show, but Jesus Christ does this kick ass

http://www.tv.com/video/15055/dances-with-wolves?o=tv&tag=show_summary;vCurt

The little red hen called all of her Democrat neighbors together and said, 'If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?'

'Not I,' said the cow.

'Not I,' said the duck.

'Not I,' said the pig.

'Not I,' said the goose.

'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little red hen, and so she did. The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain.

'Who will help me reap my wheat?' asked the little red hen.

'Not I,' said the duck..

'Out of my classification,' said the pig.

'I'd lose my seniority,' said the cow.

'I'd lose my unemployment compensation,' said the goose.

'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little red hen, and so she did.

At last it came time to bake the bread.

'Who will help me bake the bread?' asked the little red hen.

'That would be overtime for me,' said the cow.

'I'd lose my welfare benefits,' said the duck.

'I'm a dropout and never learned how,' said the pig.

'If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination,' said the goose.

'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little red hen.

She baked five loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see. They wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share. But the little red hen said, 'No, I shall eat all five loaves.'

'Excess profits!' cried the cow. (Nancy Pelosi)

'Capitalist leech!' screamed the duck. (Barbara Boxer)

'I demand equal rights!' yelled the goose. (Jesse Jackson)

The pig just grunted in disdain. (Ted Kennedy)

And they all painted 'Unfair!' picket signs and marched around and around the little red hen, shouting obscenities.

Then the farmer (Obama) came. He said to the little red hen, 'You must not be so greedy.'

'But I earned the bread,' said the little red hen.

'Exactly,' said Barack the farmer. 'That is what makes our free enterprise system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our modern government regulations, the productive workers must divide the fruits of their labor with those who are lazy and idle.'

And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who smiled and clucked, 'I am grateful, for now I truly understand.'

But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her. She never again baked bread because she joined the 'party' and got her bread free. And all the Democrats smiled. 'Fairness' had been established.

Individual initiative had died, but nobody noticed; perhaps no one cared...so long as there was free bread that 'the rich' were paying for.

EPILOGUE

Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs.

Hillary got $8 million for hers.

That's $20 million for the memories from two people, who for eight years, repeatedly testified, under oath, that they couldn't remember anything.

IS THIS A GREAT BARNYARD OR WHAT?

So it's a typical Wednesday and I'm at the gym (these quads don't work themselves, people) when some big white guy comes up to me and starts chatting. He seems pretty dumb, and he says he's got a joke for me. Well, I like jokes, so I say, tell me the joke.

He says, "Did you see that huge line where Barack Obama was speaking at the yesterday?" No, I reply. "Yeah, that's because he snorted it."

Now, like you, I was deeply offended by this joke. Clearly, whatever Obama did in his past is his past, and he's more than changed, I think. But then this jackass says he has one more joke. Since I was on the stair climber â€" I could really feel the burn in my hips and thighs - I couldn't leave. So he says, "Obama claims that his grandmother was scared of black men...which is why he didn't become one until he was 40."

I'm sure you agree with me: there's no place for this kind of tasteless, mean-spirited character attack. I mean, sure, we say worse things about George Bush â€" but not Obama. Never Obama. He's a good person â€" unlike Bush, who's just a big unpopular jerk. Then this meathead says he has one more! What could I do? I was trapped - my thong had ridden up my Florida panhandle.

He says; "Did you hear Obama say that black fathers should take more responsibility in their children's lives? He left it on his dad's answering machine."

I know, I know: this offensive and unacceptable. And I told him so. Then he apologized and he said, "Well, you know, John McCain and Barack Obama actually have a lot in common. McCain turns to Phil Gramm for financial stability. Obama used to fill grams for financial stability."

At this point I had to leave. Attacks like this, on an intelligent man who wants to make the world a better place after eight years of destructive policies engineered by an evil genius/former drunken cheerleader, seems beyond the pale. And I hope you agree.

Anyway, as I left, I could hear that big dumb white guy shouting another joke at me. "What did Obama say when Al Gore offered him advice?" He paused. "I'm all ears!"

I'm sorry, but if you found that joke funny â€" then you sir are a racist bigot bad person who will burn in the hottest part of hell (if it exists, of course).















http://www.dailygut.com/?i=3875

Champagne time! WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!

District of Columbia v. Heller

Obama, Clinton, McCain Join Forces To Form Nightmare Ticket

WASHINGTON_Presidential hopefuls John McCain (R-AZ), Barack Obama (D-IL), and Hillary Clinton (D-NY) announced Monday their plans to form what many Beltway observers have already dubbed the "2008 Nightmare Ticket," a calculated move that political analysts say offers voters the worst of both worlds.

After nearly a year of verbal attacks and negative campaign ads, the nominees announced that, for the good of the country, they were willing to push their differences to the forefront and grant the American people the ticket they've been dreading all along.

"No other ticket is capable of rallying this nation around a clearer, more unified message of chaos and hopelessness," the candidates said in unison from three separate podiums, each adorned with its own American flag arrangement and personal message. "Together, we will lead this nation into the future_a future where absolute deadlock over even the most minute decisions and total inefficiency on matters of the war, the economy, and the environment will launch a bold new age of confusion and social decay. For America, the only choice is [indecipherable]!"

The candidates said they had not yet decided who would fill the offices of president, vice president, and a new post the nominees are calling "the middle president." They did, however, confirm that each would choose his or her own full cabinet, would be able to veto any bills the others sign into law, and would reserve the right to cast the tie-breaking, tie-making, and tie-rebreaking votes in the Senate.
Enlarge Image Campaign Stop

The candidates on a campaign stop in Kansas.

"This nightmare ticket presents the American people with an unprecedented lack of opportunity in 2008," Washington Post columnist Richard Cohen wrote Tuesday. "For just one vote, citizens will get four years of McCain's brilliant temper, the incredible inexperience of Barack Obama, and the powerful two-headed monster of Hillary and Bill Clinton."

"It will be very exciting to see what they're capable of destroying, " Cohen added.

According to campaign managers, the triple ticket will run on a revolutionary new platform crafted during three highly contentious weeks in April.

At the top of the platform is a military strategy calling for the phased withdrawal of .000006 brigades from Iraq and Afghanistan every seven months over the next 350 years. Universal health care would also be provided, taken away on McCain's birthday, and then provided again only to those wealthy enough to afford it. Abortions would be made available on every other even-numbered Friday from 3:00 to 4:00 p.m. EST to all women who can prove residency in Alaska or Nevada. And an entirely new immigration policy will be instituted, sources said, as soon as the candidates can stand to be in the same room with one another for more than five minutes.

Aides to Sen. Clinton also confirmed that the trio plans to create two separate federal governments_one large and one small_which would be instituted within the first 100 days of the Clinton/McCain/Obama White House or, according to Obama chief strategist David Axelrod, the Obama/McCain/Clinton White House.

"Getting three political all-stars together like this is a clear lose-lose-lose situation for everyone involved," NBC correspondent Andrea Mitchell said. "By themselves, none would have been capable of uniting the country. But the possibilities of what they could do together to drive it ever further apart are limitless."

A CBS News/New York Times poll taken after the announcement revealed that the nightmare ticket has invigorated almost all voters, inspiring blacks, whites, senior citizens, college graduates, liberals, conservatives, both blue-collar and white-collar workers, and military veterans alike to remain at home by the millions this November, exercising their American right not to vote.

"So now a vote for Clinton is also a vote for McCain and Obama?" 43-year-old West Virginia resident Joe Biller said. "Jesus Christ."

Added Biller. "Looks like I'll be going with Nader/LaRouche/Sharpton/Ventura/Edwards after all."

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/obama_clinton_mccain_join_forces

Stuff White People Like strikes a little too close to home

Great Depression?
USA 2008: The Great Depression

Food stamps are the symbol of poverty in the US. In the era of the credit crunch, a record 28 million Americans are now relying on them to survive - a sure sign the world's richest country faces economic crisis

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/usa-2008-the-great-depression-803095.html

This is absolutely retarded, but I guess understandable because this is from the point of view of foreigners looking at what one would normally view as a safety net social program for the poorest of the poor who have no other recourse but to accept meager scraps from the government.

The truth about food stamps/EBT of course, is that although most recipients don't need them, they take them because, why not? Free food, and no restrictions on what you use it for. You could buy caviar with EBT if you wanted.

Plenty of people, especially foreigners who are no doubt amazed the American government actually feeds you for free sign up for food stamps. And the government as the article notes is PUBLICIZING and URGING people to take advantage of this program. So there's why the number of recipients is swelling. To conflate that into a 'great depression' is risible.