Sometimes all you need to reinvent yourself is a haircut and a clean pair of undies 
Even though a lot of people say that Valentines Day is nothing but a Hallmark holiday I think the world is a shitty enough place nowadays that we should be grateful for a day dedicated to something nice. Just because it's Valentines Day it doesn't mean you have to go out and buy a Hallmark card or spend money on a pre-packaged basket, it's just as easy to make something yourself. I think today is more about taking the time to appreciate that special someone in your life. Whether or not you end up spending forever with them is irrelevant - just appreciate them for being with you today.
This is coming from someone who is single and coming off a very messy break-up, and who has never even once received a single valentine's day present/stupid card/thingy. I guess all I can say to my fellow bachelors and bachelorettes is to be patient. Every dog has their day...
This is coming from someone who is single and coming off a very messy break-up, and who has never even once received a single valentine's day present/stupid card/thingy. I guess all I can say to my fellow bachelors and bachelorettes is to be patient. Every dog has their day...
[My Third Eye is actually a Second Arsehole which my brain uses to shit all over the world...]
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Every year on Valentine's Day I get upset because I've never received a single stupid fucking Valentine's Day card in my entire life, and I think that there must be something horribly wrong with me...
But then I picture St Valentine hanging from a dead tree on a rope made from his intestines, his body gently swaying in the breeze as a pack of wolves snap at his dangling heels trying to bring him down.
And in amongst them I'm beating his carcass with a big pointy stick and laughing as I gouge out his eyes and stuff one of them up his nose.
And every time I poke a hole in him a clump of maggots falls out of him like some rotting pinata.
I think of that.
And then I feel alright.
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Every year on Valentine's Day I get upset because I've never received a single stupid fucking Valentine's Day card in my entire life, and I think that there must be something horribly wrong with me...
But then I picture St Valentine hanging from a dead tree on a rope made from his intestines, his body gently swaying in the breeze as a pack of wolves snap at his dangling heels trying to bring him down.
And in amongst them I'm beating his carcass with a big pointy stick and laughing as I gouge out his eyes and stuff one of them up his nose.
And every time I poke a hole in him a clump of maggots falls out of him like some rotting pinata.
I think of that.
And then I feel alright.
I'M MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!
It was 41 degrees Celsius here today and it's been stinking hot all week o_0 Man I hate summer, Ive had a sweaty bumcrack for 4 days straight now. It's horrible! Why can't it be winter all year round? And snow here in Australia! That would be awesome. In winter when you're hungover and have a massive headache you can just stick your head out the door until your face goes numb and you can't feel a thing. Everything has a sort of gray magical quality to it, there's fog in the mornings, you can see your breath in front of you, and if it gets cold you can just put layers upon layers of clothes on until you're not cold anymore. Not that it ever gets that cold in Sydney.
But in Summer once you get down to your skin there's nowhere left to go! And while summer is God's way of having a perve by having lots of scantily clad women in bikinis and short skirts walkng round everywhere at any one given time, I just don't think it's worth it. Besides, when I had a girlfriend and the mood struck half the fun was unravelling all the layers of clothing like some kind of awesome Christmas present, and it was cold enough that you could cuddle up afterwards for ages. In summer you can barely get your clothes off as they're stuck to you with sweat, and it's too hot to do ANYTHING let alone make two minutes of squelching noises
Even trying to write is hard when you're covered in sweat and feeling really drowsy from the heat, whereas when it's cold you just feel so much more awake! I wish I could move to a really cold country like Iceland, or the UK for a year.
I know I should be grateful that I live in a country that has really nice weather a lot of the time and that we're able to go swimming lots here and stuff. (But I hate going to the beach as everytime I take my shirt off people either laugh at me or try to feed me hehe). I guess it's just that time of the month and I'm on my man-rag :p
It was 41 degrees Celsius here today and it's been stinking hot all week o_0 Man I hate summer, Ive had a sweaty bumcrack for 4 days straight now. It's horrible! Why can't it be winter all year round? And snow here in Australia! That would be awesome. In winter when you're hungover and have a massive headache you can just stick your head out the door until your face goes numb and you can't feel a thing. Everything has a sort of gray magical quality to it, there's fog in the mornings, you can see your breath in front of you, and if it gets cold you can just put layers upon layers of clothes on until you're not cold anymore. Not that it ever gets that cold in Sydney.
But in Summer once you get down to your skin there's nowhere left to go! And while summer is God's way of having a perve by having lots of scantily clad women in bikinis and short skirts walkng round everywhere at any one given time, I just don't think it's worth it. Besides, when I had a girlfriend and the mood struck half the fun was unravelling all the layers of clothing like some kind of awesome Christmas present, and it was cold enough that you could cuddle up afterwards for ages. In summer you can barely get your clothes off as they're stuck to you with sweat, and it's too hot to do ANYTHING let alone make two minutes of squelching noises
Even trying to write is hard when you're covered in sweat and feeling really drowsy from the heat, whereas when it's cold you just feel so much more awake! I wish I could move to a really cold country like Iceland, or the UK for a year. I know I should be grateful that I live in a country that has really nice weather a lot of the time and that we're able to go swimming lots here and stuff. (But I hate going to the beach as everytime I take my shirt off people either laugh at me or try to feed me hehe). I guess it's just that time of the month and I'm on my man-rag :p
I'm having such a lazy day today. I've been stewing in my own crapulence since I woke up, and have spent the day moving between my bedroom and the couch. I don't really know what to write but I'm not sure when I'll be back at my parents house again and so don't know when I'll next have access to the nets. So blogs away!
I went and saw wrestling with Dad last Friday which was fun, although I ended up spending $300. Seriously, what the fuck? How does anyone drink so much? Was totally worth it though, got majorly drunk watching guys hit each other with lighttubes and mousetraps and basically just bludgeon each other. To think that rednecks get to do do it every week! I so wanna move to a trailer park one day After the last match which was the craziest one of the wresters was standing at the bar without his shirt on, and you could just see all these bits of broken glass and thumbtacks sticking into his back. I ended up going up to him and saying "uhhh you missed a bit... here... and er here.. and here, here and here" and building a little pile of debris on the bar. The dude that he fought ended up having to go to hospital, but before he left I bought him a bottle of Jack to help him numb the pain. There must have been a lot of eyes rolling around and the insanely drunken fanboy running around hehehe I had to go to the dentist the next morning with probably the worst hangover I've ever had. I almost wished I could've spewed up everything before bed, rather than have it fermenting in my system overnight. I feel sorry for the poor dentist who had to look in my mouth though.
Well I guess that was rather pointless and boring. I think blogs are made for giirls. Whenever chicks run out of things to say they have two conversation starters right there on their chests. But if a guy is boring he's got nothing.
I'm off to stew some more. I think I'll probably fall asleep on the couch soon. When you're a little kid grown ups read you bedtime stories to put you to sleep. When you're grown up they put cricket on TV.
p.s. Anyone in Sydney going to see Emilie Autumn on the 18th March? Tickets go on sale Friday...
I went and saw wrestling with Dad last Friday which was fun, although I ended up spending $300. Seriously, what the fuck? How does anyone drink so much? Was totally worth it though, got majorly drunk watching guys hit each other with lighttubes and mousetraps and basically just bludgeon each other. To think that rednecks get to do do it every week! I so wanna move to a trailer park one day
After the last match which was the craziest one of the wresters was standing at the bar without his shirt on, and you could just see all these bits of broken glass and thumbtacks sticking into his back. I ended up going up to him and saying "uhhh you missed a bit... here... and er here.. and here, here and here" and building a little pile of debris on the bar. The dude that he fought ended up having to go to hospital, but before he left I bought him a bottle of Jack to help him numb the pain. There must have been a lot of eyes rolling around and the insanely drunken fanboy running around hehehe I had to go to the dentist the next morning with probably the worst hangover I've ever had. I almost wished I could've spewed up everything before bed, rather than have it fermenting in my system overnight. I feel sorry for the poor dentist who had to look in my mouth though.Well I guess that was rather pointless and boring. I think blogs are made for giirls. Whenever chicks run out of things to say they have two conversation starters right there on their chests. But if a guy is boring he's got nothing.
I'm off to stew some more. I think I'll probably fall asleep on the couch soon. When you're a little kid grown ups read you bedtime stories to put you to sleep. When you're grown up they put cricket on TV.
p.s. Anyone in Sydney going to see Emilie Autumn on the 18th March? Tickets go on sale Friday...
I love the trashy dancing in this clip! Reminds me of my misspent youth
Hanayo - Banzai Neoteny
Hanayo - Banzai Neoteny
SEPTEMBER 2011
AUGUST 2011
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