this is just a post i kinda have to get off my chest....

i know its gonna sound a little mushy but im mushy once u get to know me...
some one set a bulletin on myspace and it was about how someone would like their girl to act...
this is how id like mine to act
i want a girl who'll drag me out in the rain and dance around and play
i want a girl who will quitely say i love you no matter where it is...
i want a girl who will sneak a kiss in no matter what the occasion
i want a girl who will listen to me when i say shes gorgeous or beautiful and actualy believe it
she doesnt have to always be really dressed up no matter what they call call dressed up....i think it cuter when shes in her night clothes...or in mine.....
i guess im saying i want something i just havent been able to find in any girl

random post i know but i just had my first smoke in a few days and wow what a rush ... but any how yea im slowly quiting...cause its tough to go cold turkey...

well ive proven to myself yet agian im an idiot....ive started to talk to my ex agian for the...actualy ive lost count how many times ive done this....anyhow i can never seem to get the thought of her to leave my mind.....first love i guess ...u no how that is..u can never forget no matter what till u find the one....but ill never forget even if/when i do....the tattoo i have ensures that.....the lost patch to my heart belongs to her....

i've come to a point in my life where all the physical pain i put myself through eases the mental and emoptional pain i go through day to day....and the next little bit of pain i plan to put myself through is the best kind...a new tattoo.....in the misery of my life i've been able to find the bliss of pouring myself onto pages...


on a seperate note my aunt is in the hospital for a swollen brain..i hope she makes it through i means shes one of the only family members i actualy like....i may be a complete jerk but even i would miss her if she goes...that'll be the second family memeber i liked to go if she does b4 her time...

its official ive given up on the girl of my dreams, and on trying to find that special someone....i mean if i didn't have a great friend to keep me sane and balanced id probaly do something dangerous or destructive...if not to someone else, to myself...so far the things ive done are bad enough...but i regret being the jerk ive been in years past...i know i may be "young" physicaly but ive gone through more shit than most ppl will in a life time...i mean ive had a girlfriend die. plenty of my family died when i was young....and my moms starting to seem on her last leg these days...my health is detierating (i dont think i spelled that right)im always coughing and never realy sick... and well my eyes have seen more than most should and my hearts felt more pain than anyone within my inner circle...honestly i dont know how ive kept it together this long....i guess i have some soul searching to do....much love to those who care



~zach~

well im in love with this girl who i probaly will never be with even though shes what ive been looking for all my life...

in two short hours i fell in love,
with one weeks pass i lost it all
in amonths time i'll forget them all
a year from now ill miss them all
in a life time ill bare it all
and in a life time ill regret it all


ok so it was a failed attempt at poetry but it's been a while ...almost three years since i last wrote...

...people seem to hate me on this site....sighhh