It feels somewhat odd being back on this site after so long, haha.
I've actually started going to church again, although it's only been two weeks and I won't go next Sunday due to the fact my manager wants me to go to hell. I've started reading the Bible and praying every day. I'm trying to really commit myself back to God... so being a member here again is really weird, despite the fact that I don't do anything dirty with these photos (sorry to disappoint). I made a promise to God if he brought Rob back to me I'd be a better christian, but I feel I have to act on that now and show him I mean it even when I've got no proof right now I will get my way....haha. And if not, I dunno... it's helping me get through this, so it's a win-win for me
I actually tried to get in touch with my local ex, Zach... I'm not sure if he's hurt I don't want to use him as a re-bound, or if he really thought I was going to use him as one and really didn't want me to... but it seems I still won't be hanging out with him again even though I'd like to. When I told him I had no intention of using him as a rebound he was all "I told you I wouldn't be it anyways" and then said he was too busy to hang out with people 'cause of work and school (I do both as well, and I'm trying to make time). It's for the best, I'm somewhat thankful. I'm waiting to find Mr. Right, even though I'm pretty positive I already found him. If I'm wrong, I'd like to find the actual one and not just end up with a filler boyfriend
I still tear up if anybody close to me asks how I'm doing, but I am doing better. I still want Rob, still love him, still hope I end up with him... still coo over him to others... I hope we at least become friends eventually.
Everybody says I'll meet somebody new, I don't know how I will. I go to school with girls and gay guys, I'll end up working in the same environment (hairstyling, yes!) and the only guy I work with at the moment is not only married, but we argue like siblings. But I guess we'll see. I don't think I've ever had a guy approach me upon seeing me in public except once, so I'm a bit skeptical as to ever meeting anybody. But that's cool, I always thought I'd never get a boyfriend growing up, I was prepared for it... lol. Thanks family for the awesome self-esteem. I don't drink (ok, the occasional girly drink... generally a mudslide), so I don't really go to bars. I don't do clubs, I don't go to parties 'cause I don't do anything... I'm boring. My number at school is 420 and everyone thinks it's hilarious except me, since I don't do any sort of drug... haha.
I did catch 3 guys looking down my shirt yesterday at wal-mart! I didn't realize how low it was 'til I was in the bookstore and was sitting on the floor and look down and my boobs were about to pop out of my shirt, lol. I just enjoy knowing I can catch guys doing it, it's something Rob taught me :3 I actually had a younger friend visit me from Huntsville earlier this month, and at one point I look at him and see him looking down my shirt and reaching for his pocket. I went "Are you looking down my shirt?" to which he got all defensive and said he was getting his phone... but you don't look at your pocket to get your phone out... and his eyes never made it to his pocket, haha. A few days ago I was on the phone with him and he admitted he'd been looking, I felt victorious :3
Gosh, my life is pathetic and boring... oh well :/
I think in a few months once I've worked a bit (after I graduate and get a job) and figured out my financial situation I'm going to finally get a tattoo. I thought I might not 'cause Rob didn't much care for them, not that he would've left me over getting one... but since it's my body and not his, and at the moment he doesn't want me anyways, and I have more of a desire to do it now, I just might... I want more piercings, too. I want to get my tragus(es?) done, I just have to find somebody I trust. I also think I'm going to save up and still move out of state... I'd still like to move to St. Louis, I love it there and my grandaddy and his family were from there... but I'm more open to moving somewhere else now I guess we'll see. Hopefully things will work out the way I want, though.
Enough boring rambling, I'm off to wander the town and hope somebody takes pity on me and befriends me, lol.
I've actually started going to church again, although it's only been two weeks and I won't go next Sunday due to the fact my manager wants me to go to hell. I've started reading the Bible and praying every day. I'm trying to really commit myself back to God... so being a member here again is really weird, despite the fact that I don't do anything dirty with these photos (sorry to disappoint). I made a promise to God if he brought Rob back to me I'd be a better christian, but I feel I have to act on that now and show him I mean it even when I've got no proof right now I will get my way....haha. And if not, I dunno... it's helping me get through this, so it's a win-win for me
I actually tried to get in touch with my local ex, Zach... I'm not sure if he's hurt I don't want to use him as a re-bound, or if he really thought I was going to use him as one and really didn't want me to... but it seems I still won't be hanging out with him again even though I'd like to. When I told him I had no intention of using him as a rebound he was all "I told you I wouldn't be it anyways" and then said he was too busy to hang out with people 'cause of work and school (I do both as well, and I'm trying to make time). It's for the best, I'm somewhat thankful. I'm waiting to find Mr. Right, even though I'm pretty positive I already found him. If I'm wrong, I'd like to find the actual one and not just end up with a filler boyfriend
I still tear up if anybody close to me asks how I'm doing, but I am doing better. I still want Rob, still love him, still hope I end up with him... still coo over him to others... I hope we at least become friends eventually.
Everybody says I'll meet somebody new, I don't know how I will. I go to school with girls and gay guys, I'll end up working in the same environment (hairstyling, yes!) and the only guy I work with at the moment is not only married, but we argue like siblings. But I guess we'll see. I don't think I've ever had a guy approach me upon seeing me in public except once, so I'm a bit skeptical as to ever meeting anybody. But that's cool, I always thought I'd never get a boyfriend growing up, I was prepared for it... lol. Thanks family for the awesome self-esteem. I don't drink (ok, the occasional girly drink... generally a mudslide), so I don't really go to bars. I don't do clubs, I don't go to parties 'cause I don't do anything... I'm boring. My number at school is 420 and everyone thinks it's hilarious except me, since I don't do any sort of drug... haha.
I did catch 3 guys looking down my shirt yesterday at wal-mart! I didn't realize how low it was 'til I was in the bookstore and was sitting on the floor and look down and my boobs were about to pop out of my shirt, lol. I just enjoy knowing I can catch guys doing it, it's something Rob taught me :3 I actually had a younger friend visit me from Huntsville earlier this month, and at one point I look at him and see him looking down my shirt and reaching for his pocket. I went "Are you looking down my shirt?" to which he got all defensive and said he was getting his phone... but you don't look at your pocket to get your phone out... and his eyes never made it to his pocket, haha. A few days ago I was on the phone with him and he admitted he'd been looking, I felt victorious :3
Gosh, my life is pathetic and boring... oh well :/
I think in a few months once I've worked a bit (after I graduate and get a job) and figured out my financial situation I'm going to finally get a tattoo. I thought I might not 'cause Rob didn't much care for them, not that he would've left me over getting one... but since it's my body and not his, and at the moment he doesn't want me anyways, and I have more of a desire to do it now, I just might... I want more piercings, too. I want to get my tragus(es?) done, I just have to find somebody I trust. I also think I'm going to save up and still move out of state... I'd still like to move to St. Louis, I love it there and my grandaddy and his family were from there... but I'm more open to moving somewhere else now I guess we'll see. Hopefully things will work out the way I want, though.
Enough boring rambling, I'm off to wander the town and hope somebody takes pity on me and befriends me, lol.