Seanbaby's February 22, 2003 blog

Seanbaby likes basketball and Muay Thai.

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Saturday blog

FEBRUARY 22, 2003 @ 04:24 AM

If you weren't at the Suicide Girls movie premiere at Clinton last Tuesday, and a lot of you weren't, I just posted some photos from the afterhours at Dot's: Troma Premiere Photos

And in case you came here looking to ride a rocketship to happiness, I just came across a book called 2002 Ways to Cheer Yourself Up. For only $8.95, I got 2002 brilliant tips on turning my frowns upside down. And even though that's less than half a penny per tip, here are a few keys to happiness that were overpriced.

#507 - Listen to Mariah Carey's song "Hero" to give yourself a little courage.
If Mariah Carey is what you use to give yourself courage, you don't know what the word "courage" means. Fag.

# 945 - Go out today and purchase two or three books on how to deal with stress. Start reading them tonight.
It doesn't inspire confidence when your book about dealing with your problems tells you to go out and buy different books about dealing with your problems. In fact, that sounds like the beginning of a vicious cycle.

# 1108 - Order one of everything from the dessert cart at a French restaurant.
Somehow gaining thirty pounds and having an entire room full of French waiters mock your gluttony doesn't seem like the best way to cheer yourself up. But if you were a sucker enough to buy this book, you're probably going to do it anyway.

# 1192 - Fight injustice.
That's right: if you're depressed, fight injustice. Because who could be sad when his or her crime-busting fists of freedom rule the night?

# 1213 - Practice KISS: Keep it simple, silly.
I hope you know that whether this cheers you up or not, every single other person in the world hates you.

Anais

SUICIDEGIRL

I'm lost

FEB 22, 2003 05:26 AM

aahahahahahhaa mini anais...maybe it's the captain talking but that is funny

MisterSatan

Portland, OR

August 2002

FEB 22, 2003 08:59 AM

Rocketship to happiness my sweet ass! Those "tips" make me wanna go out and smash things with my huge dick!

Okay, not really. They still suck, though.

Here's a tip for happiness from ol' Uncle Satan's book: "When life gets you down, make sure and get really loaded on cheap beer." See? Works like a goddamn charm! This also helps if you're partying with Mormons and you turn and puke on a few of them. On your way being "escorted" out of the house, make sure and grab a few girls' butts as you go.

Madness

Portland, OR

November 2002

FEB 22, 2003 09:51 AM

KISS? I thought it was "Keep It Simple Shithead". My bad.

jarmitage

Fort Myers, FL

November 2002

FEB 22, 2003 12:31 PM

I wish I could have made it to the movie. I remember seeing Toxic Avenger when I was like five. It looks like I missed one hell of a time.

#2003: Stop giving a damn

desidia

Reunion

September 2002

FEB 22, 2003 01:15 PM

that book sounds like someones idea of a superfriends' villians plot. Like taking all the worlds gold and turning it blue with a laser for little or no reason at all and stopping when superman asks nice.

heh. at night I become Dr. Injustice and plot against order and law. Yes I have a doctorates in injustice.
take that archnemisis!

arik

San Francisco, CA

OLD SKOOL

FEB 22, 2003 04:28 PM

those are all fabulous pieces of advice, that i will be incorporating into my daily life. thank you

but i am just a little bit upset that you are part of the conspiracy of silence regarding one mr he-man. it's just a shame really, to know that they got you too.

are there a lot of books with a ragtag group of hard-boiled heisters? i mean is that a genre?

Kimmi

SUICIDEGIRL

California, USA

FEB 22, 2003 06:19 PM

lalalalalalalalalala..lalala. Are you going to Al's to watch wrestling?

Nex_Flamma

Portland, OR

February 2003

FEB 22, 2003 07:48 PM

Well, that's the last time I ever attempt to read anything from a book.

bcmark

Portland, OR

September 2002

FEB 22, 2003 09:13 PM

#2004: Beat author viciously until his gurgling breath ceases and eyes glaze over and then tear apart his broken ribs and eat his still-warm heart from his chest.

#2005: Carry around a sheet of fabric softner in your pocket. Sniff it when you're feeling down!

Alyssum

Humptulips, WA

December 2002

FEB 23, 2003 12:48 PM

Gotta agree with you there, Chaos. I believe it was my grandpa who always told me it's "shithead," or at the very least "stupid". It's like those people who say "sugar" instead of "shit". Because god cares that you've substituted several letters in your expression of evil!

Nothing like collapsing in a coma from sugar shock to cheer a person up!

hatefulerin

Bellingham, WA

OLD SKOOL

FEB 24, 2003 01:32 AM

the profile picture is AWESOME.

commie

San Francisco, CA

February 2003

FEB 24, 2003 01:45 AM

i concur. it is rad how both of your faces are strategically avoided by his dance. except when he punches sean in the cheek and moves his shoulder down.