Been a few days.
Weekend was one major slugfest for me. I did very little, but was basically okay all weekend, no freakouts. Yay.
K_Rex came back on Monday night late after a small snafoo with her plane leaving CA, but it turned out wel in the end. Poor thing was exhausted. Tuesday I went to see a therapist that can prescribe meds to review my meds and we're starting me on new stuff, Zoloft. We'll see in a few weeks how that goes. Friday night is the SGNC Cookout. Looking forward to that so I can see some peeps that I haven't seen for a while. I hope I'm not too tired and end up just wanting to go home and sleep.
You know, as it turns out I need to take care of people, need to feel needed. That's part of why I like doing desktop support because I feel needed, but that doesn't really fullfill me. It's a tasty tidbit, but it really doesn't satisfy the hunger. In one way it's unfortunate that K_Rex is so independent, unfortunate for me that is, because I don't have someone that really needs my help all the time (of course, it's just as well that she's independent, otherwise we'd never be such a great match). Or maybe even if she did need my help I'd still be trying to help out friends. It's what I do, I guess. It makes me happy. So, if you are ever the target of me wanting to help you out with something, just grin and bear with me. And heck, take me up on the offer. It makes me happy, helps you out (hopefully), and I never think less of a person that needs help.
I was going to delete the above, but decided to just leave it be. One of those insights into me.
Anyway, today is a short day for me since I leave early to talk to my other therapist. Then I get to go home and decompress. Work isn't terrible, mostly it's my fear of it being bad that is making it worse than it is, and, of course, past badness in this job.
Okay, people starting to lean over my shoulder. Love and hugs to you all.
Weekend was one major slugfest for me. I did very little, but was basically okay all weekend, no freakouts. Yay.
K_Rex came back on Monday night late after a small snafoo with her plane leaving CA, but it turned out wel in the end. Poor thing was exhausted. Tuesday I went to see a therapist that can prescribe meds to review my meds and we're starting me on new stuff, Zoloft. We'll see in a few weeks how that goes. Friday night is the SGNC Cookout. Looking forward to that so I can see some peeps that I haven't seen for a while. I hope I'm not too tired and end up just wanting to go home and sleep.
You know, as it turns out I need to take care of people, need to feel needed. That's part of why I like doing desktop support because I feel needed, but that doesn't really fullfill me. It's a tasty tidbit, but it really doesn't satisfy the hunger. In one way it's unfortunate that K_Rex is so independent, unfortunate for me that is, because I don't have someone that really needs my help all the time (of course, it's just as well that she's independent, otherwise we'd never be such a great match). Or maybe even if she did need my help I'd still be trying to help out friends. It's what I do, I guess. It makes me happy. So, if you are ever the target of me wanting to help you out with something, just grin and bear with me. And heck, take me up on the offer. It makes me happy, helps you out (hopefully), and I never think less of a person that needs help.
I was going to delete the above, but decided to just leave it be. One of those insights into me.
Anyway, today is a short day for me since I leave early to talk to my other therapist. Then I get to go home and decompress. Work isn't terrible, mostly it's my fear of it being bad that is making it worse than it is, and, of course, past badness in this job.
Okay, people starting to lean over my shoulder. Love and hugs to you all.
OCTOBER 2008





