today emilee came online and we started talking. she told me she was ahving a nervous breakdown in chem class so a friend went to go and comfort her.
LipXstickOredX: and my friend kadee said "do you remember that guy tim carson's presidential speach?"
LipXstickOredX: and then we talked about how high school is just a very small portion of life
and i started crying. its so good to know i made a difference. i did not personally know the kadee girl but she remembered a speech i gave almost 2 years ago. then i remembered how amie told me that their class talked about my speech that day, and a couple other people said the same.
after such a long depression its good to be remembered i guess. also, stephanie just IMed me and said she remembred my speech as well, and that i made a big impact on her life. i can't explain the feelings im having right now. but it makes it seem like ti was all worth it. thank you everyone.
LipXstickOredX: and my friend kadee said "do you remember that guy tim carson's presidential speach?"
LipXstickOredX: and then we talked about how high school is just a very small portion of life
and i started crying. its so good to know i made a difference. i did not personally know the kadee girl but she remembered a speech i gave almost 2 years ago. then i remembered how amie told me that their class talked about my speech that day, and a couple other people said the same.
after such a long depression its good to be remembered i guess. also, stephanie just IMed me and said she remembred my speech as well, and that i made a big impact on her life. i can't explain the feelings im having right now. but it makes it seem like ti was all worth it. thank you everyone.
so bla bla bla.. im updating this. my world is so different
maybe i will see a few cool cats at the bonfire, if vic convinces me to drive her, haha. or if she even wakes up.
happy vday
maybe i will see a few cool cats at the bonfire, if vic convinces me to drive her, haha. or if she even wakes up.
happy vday
here is the script so far.. its done technically, but by no means finished.. lots in my head
Girl On Top
im kinda waiting to get ahold of my "star" and i still need to cast the guys. this has to be done by jan 11..
i turned vegitarian for new years.. im dying. veggies do not fill me up, but i guess thats the idea, i need to get healthier.
my ex doesn't want me to be a part of her new life, but swears its ok because i can be a part of her life still... maybe our friendship will rely specifically on her convenience, fuck that.
unprotected sex is bad.. if your a girl, and on top, don't fuck me without asking me to put on a condom... unless your on the pill.. which i thgouht she was because otherwise she should have asked for a condom? i know it was just as much my responsiblity but damn, this sucks.
Girl On Top
im kinda waiting to get ahold of my "star" and i still need to cast the guys. this has to be done by jan 11..
i turned vegitarian for new years.. im dying. veggies do not fill me up, but i guess thats the idea, i need to get healthier.
my ex doesn't want me to be a part of her new life, but swears its ok because i can be a part of her life still... maybe our friendship will rely specifically on her convenience, fuck that.
unprotected sex is bad.. if your a girl, and on top, don't fuck me without asking me to put on a condom... unless your on the pill.. which i thgouht she was because otherwise she should have asked for a condom? i know it was just as much my responsiblity but damn, this sucks.
so tahoe turned out to be pretty lame... everyone got drunk except me and the girl i went with. i sat at a table alone for 4 hours and wrote the rest of my script for my short film i am making. it should be fun to make, and turn a few heads.
if the local chapter of the film group likes it i will be entered into a national competition. i have seen some of my competitors and if i can pull this off the way i want then i should have no problem getting into the national comp.
its a 3 minute short with the theme "Tough Love." We can interpret it anyway we want. mine is the story of one night for a woman. it is a quick display of power transfers from one person to the next. how we feed off of other peoples energy to keep ourselves alive.
Here is the rough draft summary of the first scene... give me feedback, and remember its my first film.
Girl on Top: Tough Love
Scene 1: Angry Tears
Camera sweeps across a dark room, details are faint but dolls and knickknacks suggestive of a small girl are present. A corset, stockings, and other sexually suggestive clothes are strewn across the floor. A male body is asleep in the bed, and comfortable in form. A female can be heard sobbing in the background, the sounds are echoed, and coming from the bathroom which is revealed as the camera continues to sweep. The bathroom is dimly light with a hint of blue light. The womans face is present in the mirror as the camera approaches her. She is naked and bruises can be seen on her back and sides. The camera continues closer and reveals smeared makeup, tears running off her face. Her tears and weeping turn to anger and frustration and she wipes her face clear of the tears. She starts the shower and the camera follows the steam to the ceiling. Fade to black.
A black dress is picked up by a womans hand. Camera follows the dress as it is draped onto her body from head to toe. The woman then applies her makeup and puts on high heels. She has to sneak past her partner who is still fast asleep. We see her exit the room and immediately the shot goes to her entering a new room, a coffee shop.
if the local chapter of the film group likes it i will be entered into a national competition. i have seen some of my competitors and if i can pull this off the way i want then i should have no problem getting into the national comp.
its a 3 minute short with the theme "Tough Love." We can interpret it anyway we want. mine is the story of one night for a woman. it is a quick display of power transfers from one person to the next. how we feed off of other peoples energy to keep ourselves alive.
Here is the rough draft summary of the first scene... give me feedback, and remember its my first film.
Girl on Top: Tough Love
Scene 1: Angry Tears
Camera sweeps across a dark room, details are faint but dolls and knickknacks suggestive of a small girl are present. A corset, stockings, and other sexually suggestive clothes are strewn across the floor. A male body is asleep in the bed, and comfortable in form. A female can be heard sobbing in the background, the sounds are echoed, and coming from the bathroom which is revealed as the camera continues to sweep. The bathroom is dimly light with a hint of blue light. The womans face is present in the mirror as the camera approaches her. She is naked and bruises can be seen on her back and sides. The camera continues closer and reveals smeared makeup, tears running off her face. Her tears and weeping turn to anger and frustration and she wipes her face clear of the tears. She starts the shower and the camera follows the steam to the ceiling. Fade to black.
A black dress is picked up by a womans hand. Camera follows the dress as it is draped onto her body from head to toe. The woman then applies her makeup and puts on high heels. She has to sneak past her partner who is still fast asleep. We see her exit the room and immediately the shot goes to her entering a new room, a coffee shop.
im in tahoe with 'girl A' for a few days. happy new years, we get to play in snow so fuck you..
its our first time doing anything on new years, we'd better have a good time or it will be blamed on me, heres to hoping...
its our first time doing anything on new years, we'd better have a good time or it will be blamed on me, heres to hoping...
feeling how i do is impossible to share
and if it were it would not be fair
enough to anyone deserving of the starved
sensation caused by the scarred tissue inside
avoiding the cause of the broken touch
has left me without much to rely on
sitting alone should do for now
although im not sure how it can
HER ways filld me up and im not sure why. when the clouds clear i'll know, and stop this silly game.
HER HER HER...
and if it were it would not be fair
enough to anyone deserving of the starved
sensation caused by the scarred tissue inside
avoiding the cause of the broken touch
has left me without much to rely on
sitting alone should do for now
although im not sure how it can
HER ways filld me up and im not sure why. when the clouds clear i'll know, and stop this silly game.
HER HER HER...
tonight was amazing, i met new people who make me smile. hopefully we shall see more of each other. and i will smile more. smiles are contagious, and i liked to share the love.. 
sleep pills make you delirious
sleep pills make you delirious
JUNE 2003
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MAY 2003
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MARCH 2003