i am super excited! our nephila clavipes spiderlings are getting big, and they're big enough to watch as they hunt!



they were born in december, and at full grown, the females will be 3.5" across. they have one of the largest webs found, with the strongest spider silk. it's a beautiful golden color. they don't make golden webs yet, but their mom did.

the silk is so strong, it's used in nerve graft surgery. don't click on that link, it's a scholarly article and you run the risk of falling asleep at your computer and being late for everything you need to do today.

these spiders have also been brought into space by NASA.

i've also just ordered some monarch butterfly caterpillars, and i can't wait to raise them again. we've done it for a couple years now, and the animals are just gorgeous throughout their lifecycle.

article on ways you can help the victims of the aurora shootings.

as many of you know, (if you've been following my sporadic posts ) i have chronic or late stage lyme disease. I'm going to share a bit of this journey with you right now. i swear though, it's worth your time, because there are tits. in fact, if you've got a medical fetish, this blog is gonna make your day.

lyme disease is carried and transmitted by ticks and possibly fleas. chronic lyme disease, for me, means primarily large joint pain and increasingly limited mobility. i make a cane sexy .



it also means lots of medication for me in the past 9 months, including a 6 week course of IV antibiotics that required a port installed in my arm, with a tube that ends in the heart.



spoilered for graphic content:

this meant every day, until my insurance ran out, and i needed to start injecting myself, i went to the infusion clinic to receive treatment.

after my insurance stopped covering this, i began to inject myself daily, and then twice daily, until my PICC rejected and needed to be removed. this was scary to me, because on my last day of treatment by trained medical professionals, i was treated for a blood clot in my superior vena cava. or, in layman's terms, my mutherfucking heart.

here's what my home IV meds looked like:



and then, after IV treatment, they look like this:

Evening dose.

these meds -or maybe even the lyme itself- make me sick. lots of sunny summer days spent like this:



and lots of braids, too, long hair takes more energy and effort than i have any more, so i'm big time obsessed with braiding to manage it. also, dry shampoo is a great time extended in between showers. but you always knew i was a dirty girl *insert comedy rimshot here*

spoilered due to lack of graphic content:

it's ok though, i have a really supportive network of amazing, caring, selfless and loving people who's idea of a good time is snuggling with me. and pets, lots and lots of pets, but that's a blog for another day. i've taken up enough of your time.

and even more good news for me, i'm on a 2 week detox, which means for 2 weeks, i don't need to take any antibiotics and i get a much needed break!

i just wanted to share with you what it's like to have a chronic illness. and i wanted to thank each and every one of you who bother to read my blog here or follow my instagram/facebook or drop me texts to check in. y'all are the best

you wanna know what i hate? i hate the new saying; "over-served". as in:

"I got over-served last night at the bar".

noooo. no, no no. what you did was to (voluntarily pay actual money to) "get piss drunk".

it's not some scheme of the wily bar staff to get us drunk and risk being fired or even undergo jail time in some states because we -as fucking adults, presumably over 21- here in the US, got too damn drunk.

what that phrase does is remove your own culpability for your behavior and it's consequences, and put it on some bartender who, i might add, is not your babysitter. they are bartenders.

so, if you find someone using that phrase, please tell them that i urge them to grow up, grow a pair, learn to hold their liquor or better yet, learn to stop drinking at a reasonable point in the evening. and if they can't...don't drink at all. tell them, from me, to stop blaming strangers for doing the job we pay them to do.

are we on the same page here? anybody else fuckin tired of the culture of absolving ourselves from responsibility?

i gots my PICC line out today, bitches.

state after state has been legalizing marijuana for medical use (16, now?) but the federal government refused to recognize state's rights on this matter.



do you think we'll see legalization of marijuana in our lifetimes? why or why not?

hi everybody! what have you all been up to?

i'm still here, i promise! kind of tough for me to keep up with this right now, but i miss you guys, and in the meantime, you can keep up with my adventures on instagram: mama_logic

have a great week everyone!!

author Maurice Sendak has died in danbury this morning at 83. although he never wanted kids, he tucked millions of us in at night with his words for over 40 years. He will be truly missed..



a man who respected children and felt that we should never lie to them, his books create a window into our own forgotten childhoods. Although he himself had little to no childhood, having lost most of his family in the holocaust, he managed to enrich the childhoods of so many, and become an indelible part of our culture.



on death: "I have nothing now but praise for my life. I'm not unhappy. I cry a lot because I miss people. They die and I can't stop them. They leave me and I love them more. ... What I dread is the isolation. ... There are so many beautiful things in the world which I will have to leave when I die, but I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready."

so listen to this while you remember him.:



“But the wild things cried, “Oh please don’t go - we’ll eat you up - we love you so!”
And Max said, “No!”
The wild things roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws but Max stepped into his private boat and waved goodbye.” - maurice sendak

love you man, smooth sailing <3

have you ever had one of those nights where you wonder if you just forgot that you got really fucking high, because being wasted is the only way you can explain the people around you?



i've been a bit of a homebody lately, but i went out to meet my friend at a local bar/ restaurant on the water to celebrate her recent baby and her birthday. yay, congrats! looking at the baby pix were the highlight of the evening. also, we've been friends for 11 years and i've seen her in the past two years exactly 4 times.

oh, and this view:



biggest full moon of the year! except. apparently in our area. i was not impressed! but i love this lit up bridge. i would have happily sat on the patio, drinking my glenfiddich and complaining that i've seen bigger moons

but no, we needed to leave and go to a dive bar. we needed to sooo bad that i couldn't even finish my scotch. there's probably no greater way to piss me off than rushing my scotch.

i like dive bars, i do, especially if you've got your crew around you. but this was not the case. all of our mutual friends were at another bar, but they were getting bodypainted and my friend's husband "doesn't approve of that". really, guy, tell me more! this is faaaascinating! you know they're our friends, right? so i guess my friend hasn't shared how she used to drink shots out of my bellybutton on top of a bar every saturday night before she met him. ahhh, marital bliss!

so this conversation, naturally leads to how rapists aren't to blame. direct quote from their male friend to me..."if a woman goes into a nightclub naked, and she gets raped, i mean, who's to blame, right?"
hold on bro, keep talking, i'm lookin for my peppesrpray. and it's not my fault that you're gonna get two eyes full of pepperspray because you're an asshole and i can't be held accountable because you were asking for it. he brought this up again, 5 minutes later. apparently because once was just not enough. but in between, this happens:

wasted girl comes over, eats my friend's face for a while in an overly friendly hug, asks her to hold her phone and then proceeds to pull her dress up over her head while yelling "LINDSAY LOHAN" for no conceivable reason after someone points out to her that she's still got the sales tag from the store on the side hem of her dress. she never removes this tag, but shows us her underwear twice again, also displaying an impressive amount of recent bruises, one of which is in the shape of a hand. i gave serious consideration to going through her phone and deleting every male contact she had in it. it seemed like she might need help making decisions. i might just save her life. i could be like a new superhero. besides these people, there are 7 other people in the entire place. and they're playing dubstep. seriously? take a look at your clientele. dubstep?


completely gratuitous photo of me.

NOW, cue the fucking moron rape apologist who comes over to make the point of telling me he's not sorry for what he said because he doesn't think about what he says before he says them.

get me the fuck out of here.

i survived 2 hours.

and, and in totally unrelated news, why is this the new duckface?