So for me to get a BJ I have to go through a bit of a perfect set up. My girl isn't super fond of going down on me which is fine but I give to her often via tongue play. To her a BJ is like dessert. The Cherry on top if you will. The way to re perk my desire instantly post sexual relation. Even then it unlike sex requires a soundtrack. Not just any soundtrack will do either. It has to be fully epic music. Songs like this...



Songs you go to war to. To her giving me head is equal to going to war. I guess. lol. These are the songs people stand in front of millions and demand action. For them to rise to the occasion. Rise I do! She bobs and weaves and ties her tongue with the music. If the music reaches a fever pitch so will she. If I don't know the song and she does god help me I will not be ready for the ride I'm about to take into untold joys culminating in an Ecstasy that leaves me literally reeling. I tend to be methodical sexually. Years of masturbation taught me to be quite and ninja like. I find what work and make it work. I have rarely been one for vocalizing my pleasure. So it comes as a great surprise to me to hear my voice scream out in pure jubilation as she dances across my loins. Designing images with the brush stroke of her tongue. The music ebbing and swelling. It pulsates with power as I swim through oceans unseen through colors in my imagination.

Needless to say I really ought to put on Epic music before starting any sexual activity in the future. Always worth the soundtrack to sex.

I don't often enjoy handjobs because girls rarely know their way around my kit as well as I do. So imagine my surprise when my current GF is actually very adept at it. Still, there are things to teach her. Like I said, no offense but generally, I should know my way around my body better in this regard. Much like if I were a girl I would probably ask a gay male how to give a blowjob. This is why I learned most of what I know about going down on a girl from a lesbian. Obviously, every girl is different and there will be trial and error with every new one you are with. The most important thing to remember is to communicate and never ever fake anything. So that being said with my new girl already somewhat skilled with her hands I wanted to further communicate my personal preferances. I guided her hands on my member while explaining the feelings associated. This may seem like an awkward and painstaking task, but trust me with more knowledge comes great rewards. I told her about where I was most sensitive and how I personally, liked to touch myself. The amount of preasure to use when starting and towards the finish. One of the most fasinating things for her was the finish. She had no idea the amount of preasure behind holding back the final explosion. Obviously, this isn't something she or most girls would be well versed in. The common desire being release sexually. So when I locked my dick down and refused it from release. I allowed her to fully grasp the power behind holding back. So in the future she could use that knowledge to her advantage in our further sexual pursuits. I love communication in a bedroom. It leads to such a better and more fullfilling sexual experiance. While sexual exploration is absolutely amazing once she discovers spot on you or visa versa discussing how best to use those spots to trigger even more sexual passion will always lead to a greater sexual release. Making ever new sexual encounter you have with each other even better. No matter how short or long the sexual interactions are. Just remember to always communicate and that will flow over into your personal life as well. The more open you can be in the bedroom the more open you will be in real life. Leading to an honest and healthy relationship.

-Saintpepsi

for more writing, poetry, or even art heck out www.facebook.com/Saintpepsiartist

I have never taken a girls Virginity. However, I have taken a girls O card. In other words given her her first Orgasm. Add to that it's my current and might I add fantastic Girlfriend that's even better. They say you imprint on the first person you have sex with. This is true for me and I think for many people. Still, for the ladies out there you don't always have orgasms so if the first person you had sex with didn't give you one wouldn't you be more likely to imprint hard on the first person who did? I should think so. So it would seem happened. Luckily, with the girl I love. Add to that the Earthquake orgasm as i call it. It's where you give a girl multiple orgasms and afterwards she experiences aftershocks for about an hour. These are both fascinating to me as a guy as I haven't ever experienced them and interesting to watch. The slightest touch or sensation can send her back into an orgasm. I have so far given each of the girls I have loved these sensations. Each is similar and each is vastly different. The over mounting of pleasure fascinates me and I love to give as much as I can. This can become too much at times and it's good to know when to leave a girl be so she can breathe. Still I'm glad to be able to give such a degree of pleasure to the girl I'm with now. To give is better than receive they say. Well the rewards from giving a girl such extensive pleasure are pretty remarkable. From what I have been afforded so far. Compliment that with the emotional bond and it's a powerful alignment I definitely enjoy

So Christmas came and went again. The above image is my Christmas pin up girl for this year. My model for it was amazing. I love having amazing Muses. It's one of the things I like most about Suicide Girls. So much inspiration. If you stumble upon this blog and would like to see more of my art or writing check out https://www.facebook.com/Saintpepsiartist like subscribe all that jazz. Check out my Suicide Girls Gallery.

Well now that that plug is outa the way. I'm pretty sure I got used recently. So coming off the whole Kelly thing wasn't easy but I've been venturing out to be all social again. Not looking for anything so of course a girl falls into my lap. Luckily not my Ex's sister like the time before that. I have no doubt we would make a wonderful couple but dear god her sister took my V card. Also I think her parent's would kill me. So never a good idea to start any relationship with that much drama. lol. Back tot he story. I was on my way to a lesbian underwear party so naturally I dressed in drag and shaved my entire body. Like ya do.



Sadly the shin dig was canceled last min. So I went to our local bar district dressed in my amazing outfit with my roommate CJ whom was in a bathrobe and boxers. Keep in mind it's sure cold that night. I actually got into every bar we went to. He wasn't allowed into 3 because he wasn't wearing a shirt. Love that!!! However, we end up going to my friend Adam's for after hours. By the god I went out that night to go to an underwear party. I was going to see people in their underwear. So upon entering the domicile I demand everyone at the party de-garb. This felt like a good idea. In fact most of the people at the party were like HELL YEAH! By most I mean every single guy there. The girls were not going to shed their clothes. lol Oh well I still raged at that party. One of the girls from that party hit me up the next night on facebook. Asking a lot of question. So I answered all of them. I never lie keep that in mind. So she gets me to go out the next night. This time it's all couples but us. I confide I thought she was pretty cute and the fact that she kinda instigated this whole thing turned me on a bit. I had to go home though I hadn't really slept at all that week and desperately needed to. She begged me to stay citing all the couples and how awkward it would be to stay there alone. I was like man I gotta get. She said, Ok! Or we could just stay here and make out!" WTF! I wasn't turning that down so we got hot and heavy on the porch. We to the Hobbit the next night together and had lunch the day after that. Things seemed to be going rather well. Then an all stop. Stopped chatting really, the text messages all had friend language in them. No long did they imply more desire. The kind of desire she forced in the beginning. I was a little confused but I hadn't really invested to much time in this so i wasn't stunned. I just assumed I had been lemoned. Then i thought about it. She's super close to Adam. Adam has been super awkwardly sucking face with his new GF any chance they get. She may have had a crush on him and wanted to see if hitting on a friend of his would swing his attention back her way. When it did not well I was of no use to her anymore. I think that may have been what happened. I don't really know. Still nice to feel wanted again even for a little bit. Wooo holidays. Glad it's almost over.

Jordan

So last night was interesting. I really can't get away from this girl she's full on haunting me. Cept the heart strings are cut now. So It's less pain and more funny anymore. Last night I was going to go draw at a strip club. Yeah it's cheaper than taking a live nude art class. Still my roommate got off work late. So sadly, that didn't happen. We went to the local bar area instead and proceeded to get full on crazy drunk. Even got to have a snow ball fight with about 100 other people at the outside donut shop for their Christmas lighting ceremony. There was powdered sugar everywhere. Quite possibly one of the best nights in the ville. Then we proceeded to hit a few more bars. One of which had the girl in it with her new guy whom might I add now obviously hates me. He gave me a lack luster high five and then walked out of the bar while Kelly and I danced around inside. My roommate fearing a set back yanked me out and we went off to Mae's my favorite bar to get drinks. Where i met a very nice nude model. lol Guess I got to talk to a girl who gets naked for money anyway lol. After that we took off for IHOP where I predicted Kelly would show up. Low and behold she came running in and gave me a monster hug. Now her table was on the other side of IHOP. So CJ and I settled in to eat and discuss the crazy night. She comes running over and sits with us. The whole meal she is just there in our both while her... love of her life was sitting with the rest of her friends. Most assurably feeling awkward as all hell because his girl was with another guy in another booth. Which he made apparent when he brought her sweet tea. Setting it in front of me and saying this is for Kelly. I passed it over. He stood there a bit and then walked back to his table. I know I probably shouldn't take so much joy in this but man it was awesome. We finished and I hugged her goodbye and rolled out. Talking to CJ about how much that dude didn't like me. Was a good night. I see that whole thing falling to fire. Best part is I don't have to worry about it. Cause I'm free. I am gloriously free. Hope to see the nude model again soon. She was pretty cool. As for Kelly she can lay in the bed she is making. If he wasn't a jealous guy it probably wouldn't be a problem. I get a feeling he is and this is eating at him in a big bad way. I kinda feel villainous... I love it.

Well that was awkward. The girl I had been chasing for some 4 months. The one that stayed at my house every night and told me we weren't in a relationship. The one that had copious amounts of sex with me... Then ran into a new guy whom she claimed was everything she ever wanted. She met him and in a day decided he was her forever. Right! Well she wanted me to meet him. I happened to be very stoned at the time of the request and much to the dismay of my roommate whom has seen me go through the ups and downs of this disastrous situation, I said yes. Like I said I suck at saying no. So I went to a local bar to meet this perfect guy. Stoned outa my mind. I get super quite when I'm stoned. If ya know me you know that's a very different me than most people are used to. So there I am beer in hand playing pool with the girl I loved and the guy she now loves. She keeps looking at me like... he's amazing right? Let's just start out by saying this guy has douche written all over him. Head to toe. Military Asshole. Yet I put that aside to see him as she might. One he's ugly as fuck. his eyebrows start in the middle of his eyes and drop off to the sides. O.o I couldn't look at him without thinking of that mole moment from Austin Powers 2. Just kept thinking OMG his eyebrows. Top that off with a huge penis vein running down the middle of his head. I would have been ok if she had chosen a hot guy over me. I mean then at least I could have thought, "well he's really hot!" No such luck. My roommate showed up and said we should all go to the bar district. So we left and hit up the ville. I stopped in Kathouse because a beautiful friend of mine was smiling at me through the window. In Kathouse I ran into my Ex Simone. Bless her heart she is drop dead gorgeous. She joined our group. Odd thing about me I am actually pretty close with all my Ex's. Anyway we head to another bar and just hang out and drink. Her boy keeps interjecting into our conversations. Trying really hard. Kelly did fine but he was pushing really hard. Kelly was the only one laughing at anything he said. Somehow, we got on the subject of nasty vagina's. Which lead him to fully vouch for hers not being so. Like saying, "Hey everyone we have sex." It was everything I could do not to reiterate yeah I've been there. Still i played the bigger man. Then as Kelly got a little drunker she got way more friendly with me. At this point the weed had worn off and I could talk again. So we were going back and forth. I brought up her smelly feet and this apparently embarrassed or offended her. I didn't care. Still this guy was just haunting our table. Like there but not part of it. Most of us were just kinda weirded out by him. after i talked to others after the night. Kelly's other friends that had joined us weren't even sitting with us. Another good sign. sigh. Every chance he got he would put his hands on her, or pull her in for a kiss... classic douche dominance play. Like leaving a girl on a leash and letting everyone around you know she's mine. The girls I usually date don't stand for that shit. We all like our freedom. PDA is fine when it's both of us but when it's just one of us nervous well that's just annoying. Anyway, I got a serious vibe that this guy didn't like me, didn't like the closeness Kelly and I had and so anytime we would get all like ourselves he would be there to pull her back. My Ex had to go so I walked her home real quick on the way she looked at me and said, "I don't get why you are even out here with her. Are you just trying to torture yourself." At this point it really felt like it. I felt like I was submitting myself to full on mental torture so I would fully cut heart strings with this girl. So the feelings I felt would be torn from me for good. That seemed to be happening really fast. She wanted to go to IHOP or something after that. I said I had to work early so we went our separate ways. She demanded a hug and the kind I used to give her. That embrace was given but he was right there looking at me like I was stealing something from him. God it was really weird. The next day she texts me about how much fun she had, and how glad she was I came out to hang. I responded in kind. She then told me this guy adored us. Me and my friends. Now I pick my friends very carefully. Those that get close to me are such because we have a crazy connection. I had no connection with this guy at all. Maybe it's because he got the girl I wanted, either way I didn't feel anything from him. I said yeah we are fun, she re texted he adores us. I knew she was wanting me to say something about him. I just said yeah we are all pretty crazy. Yeah that's a pile of dynamite I am not ready to light just yet. She'll ask again and honestly I don't know if I have the heart to tell her what i really think of the guy. Oh well. At least after that night I know this whole random confusing mess is done.

Well it took about three months but the girl I'm in love with has officially and finally figured herself out. Which is good for me because I was going nuts. Apparently, she was into another guy, which should have been a red flag for me but was spending all her time with me. Which made me suspect. I mean if this other guy is at the forefront of her mind why am I the one she is spending all her time with. So after three months of that and me never letting myself slip into the friend zone. I finally got to the bottom of it. I finally figured out what was going on. Thank god to because it was driving me batshit. Just really glad to be in the know finally and done wondering. On the plus side she has closed so many chapters in her life, leaving only one thing yet to do. I'm here for her, she loves me, and I love her. Let's see where time takes us.

Saintpepsi

That's it I'm a failure as a man. I make friends like a champ but getting a girl friend is like running a marathon when you are only a thrower. I just can't seem to commit to my desire. This truly blows me away in that I have successfully had great relationships. I just can't seem to get into them. That start up point is a matter of some contention and maybe it's because i go after girls that are just awful for me. I mean really the worst and maybe that's what we are drawn to. I don't know take for instance tonight I was with a girl named Stormy and yeah that's her real name. I mean name a girl stormy and just assume she'll be a typhoon. Crazy, fun, sexy, and fucking dangerous. She exhibited all the same things my Ex Cherry did. Yeah a girl named Cherry. Holy shit where do I find these girls. Forces of nature and I come in like I would have a chance of surviving this tornado. The last one nearly killed me. Then again when i go for a girl that seems the be the exact opposite I'm withdrawn and bored. The one girl I really like is in a loveless marriage so that's a thing. FACEPALM!!! Dear god i'm hopeless. Anyway rant over. Yay

I've long sense been over due for a new blogging spot. The rest of my writing places have been over run by people who read them that are directly related to the content. For now I will make this my new writing sanctuary. Starting off with how I truly need to stop chasing girls that are impossible to get. For instance my friend Sully. She is such a powerful force for awesome in my life and i am in every way attracted to her. Complication. She's Married. I'm ok with that I would never move or act on any romantic urge towards a taken woman. Lets face it that's far to much drama. Still I also know how unhappy she has been in this situation. Try as I might, I can't shrug off the desire to be hers. This would be easier if she hadn't confided her desire to be with me as well. The marriage was spontaneous and has had some disastrous complications form from that haste. Recently, I thought she had finally broken it apart. She had moved to a whole different part of the world. That didn't work out to well for her and upon her return she told me I had kept her alive there. While her husband had repeatedly brought her down. So naturally I stupidly thought that meant she would look into us as an option. Not so it seems. In the hopes of keeping a friendship she returned to talk out the issues they had. Apparently, he had managed to grow up in the few months he was gone. I found this hard to believe. In fact i don't. People don't change they just find ways of suppressing the parts of them that complicate things. For a weekend he managed to suppress these, bringing faith back into her that their marriage was salvageable. I'm sure it could be, however when they were out together. His estranged wife was at his beck and call. Waiting on him like a god. He was stoic and distant. As he took picture after picture that night none included her. Try as she might he seemed an arms length away at all times. Making it her responsibility to win back his favor. This makes little to no sense to me. Why when he had brought so much pain to her life does she need to show all the effort in rekindling their relationship. I see this time and time again with relationships. A power play where one does all the giving and the other does all the taking. Anyway, rant done. Nice to have it out of me finally. Thanks Suicide Girls for being my new writing venue.

A Saint's view on life

Jordan Mizell