The last few days, I have been having dreams (shich is rare in and of itself as I have a neurological problem that inhibits my brain's ability to process Seratonin during REM sleep (i.e. I suffer from a lack of dreams)) these dreams are disturning only in the sense that I do not know what they mean.
In the few dreams I have had in my lifetime, I would have to speculate that 3/4 of them take place in the same "realm" a down-trodden, ruined urban area. Sometimes post-apocalyptic, sometimes pre-apocalyptic but nearing the apocalyptic time. Meanwhile the other 1/4 take place in other unrelated realms, included in this are premonitions which take place in my own reality.
This recent set of dreams is in the down trodden, pre-apocalyptic, realm. the first night, I came across a single story brick building that is clearly not supposed to be occupied. I feel as if i am supposed to go in, like some sense of mission compels me to. I enter the building and find it to be occupied by three people, each living in sepaerate rooms/apartments.
In one room, I find an old lady who seems to be in no immediate danger, but engages me in conversation as if she does not often have guests. I stay awhile to give her company, but the unknown force which guides me in my dreams compells me to investigate the building further, as if this lady is not why i am here. I promise I will return but must first investigate other matters.
Leaving her room, i enter one I had passed earlier, here is where I am being called to. I find a woman, laying in a bed (possibly a hospital bed, i am not certain) She is dressed in a red dress, and wears heavy ammounts of makeup, which i do not find to be attractive at all, and her body is fallow, she appears to be waisting away. The visual image of her would be repulsive to most, yet i find her to be beautiful, and I feel in my heart a deep concern for her. I know from the look in her eyes she has a deep soul, but she is spiritually broken.
I...
The last few days, I have been having dreams (shich is rare in and of itself as I have a neurological problem that inhibits my brain's ability to process Seratonin during REM sleep (i.e. I suffer from a lack of dreams)) these dreams are disturning only in the sense that I do not know what they mean.
In the few dreams I have had in my lifetime, I would have to speculate that 3/4 of them take place in the same "realm" a down-trodden, ruined urban area. Sometimes post-apocalyptic, sometimes pre-apocalyptic but nearing the apocalyptic time. Meanwhile the other 1/4 take place in other unrelated realms, included in this are premonitions which take place in my own reality.
This recent set of dreams is in the down trodden, pre-apocalyptic, realm. the first night, I came across a single story brick building that is clearly not supposed to be occupied. I feel as if i am supposed to go in, like some sense of mission compels me to. I enter the building and find it to be occupied by three people, each living in sepaerate rooms/apartments.
In one room, I find an old lady who seems to be in no immediate danger, but engages me in conversation as if she does not often have guests. I stay awhile to give her company, but the unknown force which guides me in my dreams compells me to investigate the building further, as if this lady is not why i am here. I promise I will return but must first investigate other matters.
Leaving her room, i enter one I had passed earlier, here is where I am being called to. I find a woman, laying in a bed (possibly a hospital bed, i am not certain) She is dressed in a red dress, and wears heavy ammounts of makeup, which i do not find to be attractive at all, and her body is fallow, she appears to be waisting away. The visual image of her would be repulsive to most, yet i find her to be beautiful, and I feel in my heart a deep concern for her. I know from the look in her eyes she has a deep soul, but she is spiritually broken.
I spend what seems like days, maybe even weeks, taking care of her. We never speak, maybe she cant. We do, howevrer share a dialog of images and emotional conveyances (In real life, I find it hard to describe these conveyances, they are somethig I have had my entire life, as if people unwittingly unveil to me their emotional state by some sort of telepathic method) as if she cannot speak and has tried to reach out to others through these conveyances.
I feel as if I fall in love with her, that our minds are so integrated, but that maybe this love is really a desire to care for her more, I do not know.
The dream ends here for me.
The overall emotional tone of the dream is one of somber, maybe tragic beauty. I get the feeling that I did not save her. Maybe I cared for her till she died, maybe we parted ways, i do not know, but i think it did not have a "traditional" happy ending. I often find that, due to my line of work, I have to find some beauty/happiness in death, otherwise, it's frequent recurrences would consume me, yet another confusion in me. I hate losing a patient, and I hate the tragedy that ensues, but i feel compelled to embrace death. This is far to complex an issue for me to try and convey in this journal entry. Maybe I will cover it another time.
lone_observer
a.k.a.
ross_kennebunk
In the few dreams I have had in my lifetime, I would have to speculate that 3/4 of them take place in the same "realm" a down-trodden, ruined urban area. Sometimes post-apocalyptic, sometimes pre-apocalyptic but nearing the apocalyptic time. Meanwhile the other 1/4 take place in other unrelated realms, included in this are premonitions which take place in my own reality.
This recent set of dreams is in the down trodden, pre-apocalyptic, realm. the first night, I came across a single story brick building that is clearly not supposed to be occupied. I feel as if i am supposed to go in, like some sense of mission compels me to. I enter the building and find it to be occupied by three people, each living in sepaerate rooms/apartments.
In one room, I find an old lady who seems to be in no immediate danger, but engages me in conversation as if she does not often have guests. I stay awhile to give her company, but the unknown force which guides me in my dreams compells me to investigate the building further, as if this lady is not why i am here. I promise I will return but must first investigate other matters.
Leaving her room, i enter one I had passed earlier, here is where I am being called to. I find a woman, laying in a bed (possibly a hospital bed, i am not certain) She is dressed in a red dress, and wears heavy ammounts of makeup, which i do not find to be attractive at all, and her body is fallow, she appears to be waisting away. The visual image of her would be repulsive to most, yet i find her to be beautiful, and I feel in my heart a deep concern for her. I know from the look in her eyes she has a deep soul, but she is spiritually broken.
I...