I just got back in to town. It's cold & there is snow and ice everywhere. The weather in both Illinois and Missouri was much nicer. And it was good to see old friends and family again. But it's clear to me those places are no longer home. I never thought I would grow to love this place but I do. After 20 years of wandering I finally feel like I belong someplace.
I just got home from one of the best nights of my life. I'd resigned myself to treating my birthday as just another day. In my family birthday celebrations are only for children and are pretty tame affairs. The only people who ever made a big deal out of my birthday was Roy (some of you may remember the friendship I ruined by falling for a married man) and my ex Yusuf. And those were almost always small private celebrations. So I wasn't expecting today (last night, now I guess) to be anything but another Saturday. But I was in for a surprise. As in a surprise party. I can honestly say I have never been more surprised. And so proud of the girls who threw it. I've been working with these girls for a while now. Teaching them lots of things. Art, self defense, dance, fitness, financial management and basic life skills. And tonight I realized how much they have learned. When I first met them they thought they couldn't do anything. Neither did anyone else. Because no one had ever given them a chance.
Not only did they plan every aspect of the party tonight, but they did a better job than most of the professionals I've seen. It was wonderful. I was so proud of them. They raised the money themselves, bought and prepared food & decorations. Put together a perfect guest list. Tracked down almost all of the family and friends I would have wanted there and managed to avoid inviting anyone I would rather not see. All of this while keeping up with their studies at school and with me, working at my gym after school, and without me ever having a clue what they were up to. I was so touched. And it was a great time. They even chose perfect music. The only thing that could have made it made it better was if Roy or Yusuf had been there. I miss both those guys. Still, I'm learning to live and love without them. Thanks to some of the best kids I've ever known. I'm a lucky girl.
Not only did they plan every aspect of the party tonight, but they did a better job than most of the professionals I've seen. It was wonderful. I was so proud of them. They raised the money themselves, bought and prepared food & decorations. Put together a perfect guest list. Tracked down almost all of the family and friends I would have wanted there and managed to avoid inviting anyone I would rather not see. All of this while keeping up with their studies at school and with me, working at my gym after school, and without me ever having a clue what they were up to. I was so touched. And it was a great time. They even chose perfect music. The only thing that could have made it made it better was if Roy or Yusuf had been there. I miss both those guys. Still, I'm learning to live and love without them. Thanks to some of the best kids I've ever known. I'm a lucky girl.
I really should be making better use of this. I have fond memories of this place and the welcome distraction it brought. There just doesn't seem to be much time for this kind of thing anymore. Funny how everyone always talks about how free of responsibilities I am, but I'm the busiest person I know. Good busy though. I'm as close to happy as I've ever been. Although a better description might be at peace. Something I never thought I'd be able to say about myself. It's pretty cool.
Hmmm, even I'm not egotistical enough to believe that I have yet another secret mysterious benefactor. Still, it is good to be back. So thanks, SG.
Anybody still here that I actually know?
Anybody still here that I actually know?
Last night some drunken frat boys were serenading me outside my bedroom window. I can't decide if they were cute or obnoxious. They were pretty loud and more enthusiastic than talented. It was hard to tell what they were actually singing. I'm not sure where they came from but I assume it has something to do with the workouts I've been doing in the backyard.
Nice to know I've still got it. Too bad they were all so damn young.
Update June 7th
One of my neighbors told me that one of the songs was "Kung Fu Fighting". Which clearly weighs in on the cute side in my opinion. My neighbor, on the other hand, definitely thought they were obnoxious.
Nice to know I've still got it. Too bad they were all so damn young.
Update June 7th
One of my neighbors told me that one of the songs was "Kung Fu Fighting". Which clearly weighs in on the cute side in my opinion. My neighbor, on the other hand, definitely thought they were obnoxious.
My life has become very routine. I get up the same time every day, have breakfast, go to the gym, come home for lunch, paint for a few hours, read for a few hours, go back to the gym, come home and have a light dinner and get to bed early. I was going to start a garden but I think I missed my chance. Maybe next year. I don't remember the last time I went out or saw someone socially.
I can't say I miss it. I'm finding that a life of solitude is more comforting that i might have expected.
I can't say I miss it. I'm finding that a life of solitude is more comforting that i might have expected.
I've spent the last decade of my life waiting around for something I should have known wasn't going to happen. I think I'm done with that. Time to move on. See what else is out there. It was a nice dream while it lasted.
So Missy seems to think that one of you guys wants to do dirty things to me but is too shy to tell me.
Don't be shy.
Music: The Beatles - While My Guitar Gently Weeps
Book: Tom Wolf - Bonfire of the Vanities
Wow, there have been a lot of really great sets while I was gone.
Don't be shy.
Music: The Beatles - While My Guitar Gently Weeps
Book: Tom Wolf - Bonfire of the Vanities
Wow, there have been a lot of really great sets while I was gone.
