What happened to SG radio? It used to be talk radio, with a few good songs, now it's entirely music. What's up? Did I miss something? Apparently.
I stayed up tonight for the first time in months to hear it, and it's new girls and a new format.
I miss Missy.
Not to say the new girls aren't doing a good job. The old SG radio was just fun.
I think I'm going to bed early now.
Night all.
B.
I stayed up tonight for the first time in months to hear it, and it's new girls and a new format.
I miss Missy.
Not to say the new girls aren't doing a good job. The old SG radio was just fun.
I think I'm going to bed early now.
Night all.
B.
I'm really ready for another change in my life.
Seems as though every couple of years since high school I get this "antsy", anxious feeling. It's so far le me to the army, 8 different states, Germany, Japan, and back to my home town again. Now that I'm home I realize just how out of place I am. I'm the guy who stands out with my piercings, tattoos, outspoken beliefs that contraditct the norm, sitting on a park bench (or on the roof of my high school turned home) reading books most from the "breadbasket" could never comprehend.
I have no idea where I need, or even want to go. My heart pulls me to La., and Louisville, but I've long ago learned my heart makes a fool of me.
I just want to be accepted, and taken seriously, is that too much to ask? Most people see my piercings, tattoos, or wardrobe, and immediatly think I'm some vagabond, waste of space. I (as do everyone who's taken the time to get to know me) know it's not true. I have a lot to offer. I've just never found my niche, the groove into which I can settle and will steer my "path" more effortlessly.
As of now, I'm franticly avoiding potholes, and obstructions, jumping the occasional burnt bridge.
I just (as most others) just want to find a place I belong. I thought I had that in Germany, but I can't be there while "she" is. Just the idea of running into her on the street, or in the "Kaufmarkt" makes me throw up in my mouth a little.
Anyone with ideas, please don't be afraid to share.
Now it's off to start the quest for more gainful employment.
Have a good weekend all.
B.
Seems as though every couple of years since high school I get this "antsy", anxious feeling. It's so far le me to the army, 8 different states, Germany, Japan, and back to my home town again. Now that I'm home I realize just how out of place I am. I'm the guy who stands out with my piercings, tattoos, outspoken beliefs that contraditct the norm, sitting on a park bench (or on the roof of my high school turned home) reading books most from the "breadbasket" could never comprehend.
I have no idea where I need, or even want to go. My heart pulls me to La., and Louisville, but I've long ago learned my heart makes a fool of me.
I just want to be accepted, and taken seriously, is that too much to ask? Most people see my piercings, tattoos, or wardrobe, and immediatly think I'm some vagabond, waste of space. I (as do everyone who's taken the time to get to know me) know it's not true. I have a lot to offer. I've just never found my niche, the groove into which I can settle and will steer my "path" more effortlessly.
As of now, I'm franticly avoiding potholes, and obstructions, jumping the occasional burnt bridge.
I just (as most others) just want to find a place I belong. I thought I had that in Germany, but I can't be there while "she" is. Just the idea of running into her on the street, or in the "Kaufmarkt" makes me throw up in my mouth a little.
Anyone with ideas, please don't be afraid to share.
Now it's off to start the quest for more gainful employment.
Have a good weekend all.
B.
I breathe,
Your essence fills me with a lustful desire, yearning for more. Like an intoxicating aroma, sweet perfume that envelops me, seduces me, leaves me wanting more.
I open my eyes,
The very sight of you, your beauty blinds me to all else in the world. I can see only you, and I would have it no other way. Your aura, bright white, and brilliant transfixes me, I can't look away, nor would I wish to.
I hear your words,
The sound of your voice rings in my ears as a symphony. Angelic, harmonious, resounding, it fills my mind with hope, and peace. It cuts through the turmoil and anarchy that are my thoughts, and satiates my desire to be calm and content.
I touch your cheek,
The void of longing and desire is filled with contentment, and belonging. The very feel of your caress soothes the savage beats that rages within me. Broken free of it's bindings, yet never so calm, never so.....fulfilled. As if all of the pain, and hatred once pent up and aching to be released is now reconciled and silent, washed away by your very touch.
You kiss my lips,
Serenity....... a feeling I'd yet to know. Love........ no longer a fleeting thought, but a tangible, undeniable reality. Comfort...... as though the thing I'd been searching for so long had materialized right before me. Fascination...... your very existance, beauty, kindness, intelligence, I am intrigued by you.
You are my Godess, passion, ambiton, my very reason for being. I know now, more than ever, my life's purpose. It is you, always has been, always will be.
Your essence fills me with a lustful desire, yearning for more. Like an intoxicating aroma, sweet perfume that envelops me, seduces me, leaves me wanting more.
I open my eyes,
The very sight of you, your beauty blinds me to all else in the world. I can see only you, and I would have it no other way. Your aura, bright white, and brilliant transfixes me, I can't look away, nor would I wish to.
I hear your words,
The sound of your voice rings in my ears as a symphony. Angelic, harmonious, resounding, it fills my mind with hope, and peace. It cuts through the turmoil and anarchy that are my thoughts, and satiates my desire to be calm and content.
I touch your cheek,
The void of longing and desire is filled with contentment, and belonging. The very feel of your caress soothes the savage beats that rages within me. Broken free of it's bindings, yet never so calm, never so.....fulfilled. As if all of the pain, and hatred once pent up and aching to be released is now reconciled and silent, washed away by your very touch.
You kiss my lips,
Serenity....... a feeling I'd yet to know. Love........ no longer a fleeting thought, but a tangible, undeniable reality. Comfort...... as though the thing I'd been searching for so long had materialized right before me. Fascination...... your very existance, beauty, kindness, intelligence, I am intrigued by you.
You are my Godess, passion, ambiton, my very reason for being. I know now, more than ever, my life's purpose. It is you, always has been, always will be.
I can't help the way I have become over this last year. With the past 2 relationships I had, how can I not be pescimistic? Every relationship to be honest. If I had one that really worked, I'd still be in it, right? The only 2 girls who ever made me truely happy, and made things feel right (Sarah, and Heather) I could never be with again, for the most part not by my choice, well, one of which anyway.
Why is wanting to be single such a sin? Avoiding heartbreak, and the immanent catastrophy seems like the intelligent move to me.
I have high standards, I'm not sorry for it. When all you see at the "store" are igno.... excuse me, ladies of "sub-par" intelligence, psychos, track record-proven cheaters, and ready-made families (when you know you're not ready for that), why go "shopping"?
I have my friends, I hang out, I talk to people, I just don't develop bonds that could lead to anything more than friendship. I hold people at a distance, and it's all in the name of self-preservation.
I miss having a best friend that I'm close with, bordering on a relationship. But, I don't miss clubbing. Those shameless meat-markets of bare flesh, and desperation. I don't miss awkward first dates, first kisses, first "congregation".
Without those stresses in my life I'm a much happier man, despite appearances.
I'm done being the one working to keep friendships going. That doesn't mean I don't want to hang out, it just means I'd like for someone to drive to see me ever once-in-a-while, who doesn't have an agenda.
What's so wrong with all of that?
Why is wanting to be single such a sin? Avoiding heartbreak, and the immanent catastrophy seems like the intelligent move to me.
I have high standards, I'm not sorry for it. When all you see at the "store" are igno.... excuse me, ladies of "sub-par" intelligence, psychos, track record-proven cheaters, and ready-made families (when you know you're not ready for that), why go "shopping"?
I have my friends, I hang out, I talk to people, I just don't develop bonds that could lead to anything more than friendship. I hold people at a distance, and it's all in the name of self-preservation.
I miss having a best friend that I'm close with, bordering on a relationship. But, I don't miss clubbing. Those shameless meat-markets of bare flesh, and desperation. I don't miss awkward first dates, first kisses, first "congregation".
Without those stresses in my life I'm a much happier man, despite appearances.
I'm done being the one working to keep friendships going. That doesn't mean I don't want to hang out, it just means I'd like for someone to drive to see me ever once-in-a-while, who doesn't have an agenda.
What's so wrong with all of that?
