one of my last mornings in albuquerque was spent modeling at my painter friend Henry's studio. we were set up on the patio, me nude in a busted old sitting chair. henry, crazy apache, visionary painter with lines and color like matisse, sipping magic mushroom-infused green tea, blue corn growing tall-stalked under late summer sun, a white rabbit in the yard, peering out of his red-washed, wooden hutch. flies buzzing around freshly cut flesh of watermelon, the smell as intoxicating as the sunshine. shadows cast down by the junipers, pinon, and elm trees. a little spider, glowing white green crosses my thigh.

and from the turntable inside, the sounds of les paul and mary ford circa 1953 find their way outside to join us.




and last night, walking my pug in the catskills, down sleepy, winding lanes, overlooked by the setting sun-kissed hills where rip van winkle was seduced by slumber, i spied that same spider that i thought i'd left behind in the desert. i was creeping along the creek bed, gathering moss and succulents to take back to the house to pot. there he was, glowing pale greenwhite against a black rock. good luck finds me even here.

this is for sheila:



rock and roll. i am consumed by some weird sin. it's the rock and the roll that keeps me a forever rolling stone. gathering not moss, just new adventure and experience. perspective and dirt.

i am a love machine.

let's make out



p.s jeezus. i'm only like ten years late but here's my blogger spot
check it out.

quick update:

going to the catskills on september third for adventure, conspiracy, and hard work. all summer of dreaming of going back to new york and lo and behold an oppurtunity has manifested.
keeping my base here in albuquerque. i love this fucking place.

it's been a whirlwind the past few weeks. wouldn't know where to start.
but there's been tons of good music, parties, work, people, bike rides, sunsets, and loven.
things with the dude are going really swell. he is the lumbering brute to my star-struck mystic.


i don't really have internet access so that's why i suck at responding to you guys. missing so many of you out there. duh.

as usual it's one day at a time for me. who knows what tomorrow holds. but it's goddamn beautiful to live every moment with the ups and the downs, the pleasure, and the pain. i am so grateful for my blessed existence.

in considering my life up to this moment, i always return to a certain memory: when i was five and my mom asked the usual question of "what do you wanna be when you grow up", me being the little flower child that i am responded with, "i just want to be".

it's been a crazy couple of years. the radical that i was raised to be is reaching new plateaus of deviance and transgression from the norm. my life is magic. simple and complex. when you don't fear death, when you understand that matter, and thus We, are neither created nor destroyed, when you live in gratitude of daily blessings like health, loved ones, beauty, and when you understand that body and soul are both fleeting and eternal, it's all simplified. everything really is everything. life, death, one in the same. it's all a flux, an ebb and flow. there is no beauty and interest without suffering and pain. embrace it all.

so keep floating on the magic of the universe, dreamers.

xo



p.s.
just found the coolest online zine ever

oh goddessSheila my love

for you we -"we" being april and myself, your moon sisters- are throwing a masquerade ball at a house on a hill.
we will dress up in my finest frocks, bedeck ourselves in baubles, scarves, and hats, from my ever exPLODING closet of galore.
rouge our cheeks, lips, and other...
scent our sweet necks
and dance, intoxicate, LOVE until dawn.

see you tomorrow, girl. the desert is waiting.