I'm just finishing the middle of the first week of a job I'm doing with my best friend. Essentially, I'm traveling the Great Lakes area, visiting campuses to sell posters for a company based in NYC. We're staying in a hotel with all the fixings, including a jacuzzi. Anyone in Michigan wanna come drink with us? We'll be hanging around U of M until next week. After that, the tour goes onto Madison, WI...Iowa City, Iowa...and finally Kent State University, Ohio.

The good part is that it's a step thru the door with this company that I can make a lot of $ with. Also, I get a chance to travel and make music with my best friend in our hotel room after work. Problem is, the hours are realy long, and the labor is like the kind of work I did when I dug ditches for contractors when I was 15! Also, a weird twist of fate left me screaming in pain the other day, as I was entering the University's loading dock - I slipped and fell, re-injuring an old knee twist that put me out of commission for a week about 6 or 7 years ago. It's got me stuck sitting down on the job, (literally) and my friend is thinking about replacing me. Oh well, let's hope time will heal my knee. Send me healing thoughts everybody!

What a great week. Getting ready to visit the family on the East Coast, so I got a week and a half to clean, pack and get the car ready for a big ol drive across the states. It's a long one! 2,497 miles exactly. In the meantime, I've gotta rap things up in Vegas, like oil change, winter clothes, and a whole week of present buying and such.

I've been listening to and old Smashing Pumpkins record a lot lately - Pisces Iscariot. It reminds me of being 15 again. I don't miss being a nerd with no friends, but I sure as hell love having great taste in music!

So the show went well, people adored our songs. Then, last night we did a photoshoot for the band, which will eventually become a calendar, where each month will have a holiday-themed shot of one or more band member(s) interacting with a festive "corpse" or two (acted out by a handful of our fabulous fans) I will surely post these pictures when they are ready, and even some of the alternative ones.

It got me thinking how much I want to post some racy pictures of me online, so I decided I'm going to do a specific shoot designed for this site. I will become an official suicide boy. Is there such a thing as official? I'll have to look into that. Regardless, look out for some pics of me coming up soon. Anyone interested in suggesting a theme should comment or message me, though I have a feeling I'm going to dye my hair and take pictures in the shower. (I got a cute new shower curtain with frogs on it!)

I have to play a show tonight. I have a feeling it'll be the last with this band, but I'm content with that. I've learned a lot from this guys, and I feel so much is ahead of me as a musician, and I'm confident I'll grow as a songwriter. This band helped tremendously with my ability to write lyrics and traditional songwriting styles, the kinds I used to feel were too simplistic, but now I respect it. I feel more capable of separating the 'minimal' and the 'pop,' and knowing when they intersect. I feel more capable of allowing what I want to say and play to come out more freely, and not forced into a genre. I want to write sweet quiet songs more often, as opposed to cranky, mean, and distorted noisy stuff. We'll see whether it's a phase or maybe I'm getting old.

Also, I told someone today that I thought they were beautiful, someone I've been meaning to tell for a while. She makes me want to daydream. Haven't done that in a while.

Wish me luck tonight.

Thanksgiving was wild...lots of drinking, dancing, and awesome friends! I love my peoples, we had such a great time.

I'm not new to this site. I've checked it out, but deciding to blog from it is a whole 'nother category altogether. For some reason I feel more confident writing honestly here then on my livejournal or myspace thingees. I guess it's because since everyone else is naked around you, how hard can it be to bare yourself in writing a simple blog? I used to feel like this wasn't ideal, writing on a site that has no pictures of me. (Part of this is growing up with Catholic guilt, partly because I'd rather look a the stunning ladies here) Then I realized that it's not fair for me to see you all with no clothes on, yet I'm supposed to hide behind the screen anonymously? It seems kind of unbalanced in terms of my relationship with the thousand brave females behind these jpgs. For only $12 a month, I get to remain in the dark, with tons of alienated, though complexly sensual, visual communications that are so one-sided it's insane. If I wanted to pay money to see one person in the nude in real life, it'll cost me MUCH MUCH more, and those ladies are self-admittedly in it for the money! Meanwhile, here you all are getting no cash from me, allowing yourselves to be ogled, and expect what? Feeling sexy? Artsy? A part of something bigger then yourself? Whatever your reason, I'd like to apologize in my first blog post, and say I'm sorry for not showing my face. It's been too small of a price to pay, and it started feeling like unfair trade coffee or something.

And well...until I get over the hangups of being naked myself on the internet, let me at least be a real person. I'm here. Thank you for sharing your minds and bodies. You're all collectively more beautiful then any of us can ever exclaim out loud or in a blog.

reddesert