On Becoming A Productive Citizen (an epic epic poem)
and this is about how i became a productive citizen becuz i remember when my relative gave me malcolm xs autobiography and i became ultra militant and used to memorize experptz from his speechez and tell my mama (who just happenz to be white) that white people were (are) intrinsically evil and only a few were able to fight that and niggaz called me the gangbangin muslim becuz i fell back into my old wayz but that militancy never left and i rememver when i wore my dashiki to school niggaz said i had on a dress and malcolm inspired me to stop fuckin with white girlz becuz they beneath me and then i moved to texas becuz wichita and i seemed to like trouble and this iz still about how i beame a productibve citizen becuz in the pen they try to degrade you they strip you butt-ass-dick-nut naked (even though before you got on the bus they did that same thing) and the women like it the most when they tell you to turn around and bend over and spread em (your ass cheekz that is) and a tall skinny nigga pulled me out and told me i wasnt gonna come down here and try to run his penitentiary was i (he had my gang file in front of him) and the white girl asked me the same thing when she saw the tattoo on my hand and i told her i got in to fight for my people and what about your family arent they your people too is what she asked and they try to make you feel less than human and be in constant fear when its 20 degrees (west texas winter) and theres ice on the ground and you look too strong or too full of pride or self confidence so they pull you outta line (you have to leave the building and go outside to get to the chowhall) and tell you too strip and youre already cold with two pair of socks and thermalz and clothez and a jacket on and when i saw them do that to a brother (who just let em) i told myself to prepare to go back to lockdown becuz aint no way i was gonna let em do me like that becuz i am a man and i know i would hate myself if i let those pigz just handle me however they pleased and i would much rather prefer them to hate me than for me to hate me becuz when im in solitary or ad. seg. or the hole or lockdown its only i and i not them and i and this is still how i became a productive citizen becuz it seems to me that these capitalist pigs go out of their way to make sure these plantations called prisons are built in backwood redneck perckerwood crackerville areas and bubba aint never had no contact with no city niggers but he just got a job down at the new plantation and now he can always be right and take out his anger on the niggers who took his pa job and drove him to drink and me i was just 17 and was an extremely atheistic thug who really didnt give a fuck about livin or dyin(and only didnt try suicide becuz thats a cowards way out) or nothin but my 2pac tapes my walkman and some good herb and a pack of newports or anybody until i saw the look in my lil brothas eyes and i went from the street to a little cell and that cell was either gonna make me a craven or a warrior becuz i had to sit in that cell for 2 yearz 23 1/2 hours a day and when i added it all up i spent only 310 hours out of that cell in the whole 14,880 hours i spent there and still i remember sittin on the end of the concrete slab that served as my bunk and huperventilating becuz i thought i was losing my mind and i didnt know it but i was becoming a productive citizen and i used to wrap my hands in towelz and punch the wallz until my knucklez were bloody tellin mama when she came and saw em and asked what was wrong had i been fightin that yeah i had been fighting the wallz up offa me whenever they started closin in on me and i remember askin myself if i was crazy then tellin me naw but then again maybe just maybebut then i wondered if i went crazy would i know i went crazy or would i be crazy thinkin i was just fine and that kinda fucked me up for a while until i realized it aint matter anyway becuz by societyz standards i was already crazy and i remember tellin the chaplain who came cell to cell on tuesdayz that i couldnt believe in god or jesus or none of that becuz even though i prayed and read the bible and did all the good thingz that a good christian was supposed to do i couldnt believe my heart was (is) immune to belief ( that kind anyway) so i finally said fuck god ill believe in something real that i can see build feel do (like revolution) and i must say THANK YOU to Sheikilya RoChandra Lewis becuz if it wasnt for her dedication and persistence and undying loyalty i would have gone crazy but she listened to my rantingz and ravingz and i remember when i met the brothaz who would become my comradez and how they used to tell me war storiez about san quentin and i could read 700 pages in 24 hours and my eyez started going bad becuz i was reading so much and my 1st poem (even though my letters to Sheikilya were poetry as well) was about how the devil (read: white man) lied about everything and then i started to study islam (again) which my homeboy big Al influenced but i always believed in revolution and when i went to another plantation i ready everything i could that wasnt fiction and i always knew (without knowing) that communist were good (maybe becuz the same people who called them bad called me bad) and i remember reading Soul On Ice and learning the word iconoclast and realizing that i was intransigently iconoclastic especially toward amerikkka and anything even remotely amerikkkan and oh this is still about how i became a productive citizen becuz i began to reading (and liking) philosophy (until i found applicable theory like Marx, Lenin and Mao) and when Sheikiliya went to college and stopped writing becuz i pushed her away with my reactionary and dogmatic viewz on islam i started keeping a journal but i can only write when i feel and the more history i read the more i hated amerikkka and felt solidarity with anyone even a little anti-amerikkkan and i used to carry a little picture of Fidel (yea, that Fidel) around with me and i was becoming a productive citizen and thatz what this is about becuz i got transferred to another plantation and i met Brownseed Shaheed M. Allah who became my enlightener and my mind started breakin the chainz and shacklez of religion as i bloomed into true revolutionary glory and realized (learned) that there aint no spook god up in the cloudz and that in the end everything must come from self and that (the Black) man is God (yes, with a big g and little g) and as i got deeper and deeper into my study i realized that communism also teachez against that same mystery spook (read: god) that muslimz and christianz and hinduz and catholicz and etc. etc. all say is up in heaven and dont forget that this is about how i became a productive citizen becuz the more i learned the more revolutionary i became becuz the more i saw that that was/is the only hope for the massez of people and i remember James one of my comradez in the county talkin about George Jackson and so i ordered Blood In My Eye as soon as i go the chance and it taught me more than any single book i read (and ive read hundreds) and now i call it my quran and then i read Soledad Brother and on phrase ran through my mind over and over and over again i knew i wasnt crazy. i knew i wasnt crazy. i knew i wasnt crazy. i knew i wasnt crazy. i knew i wasnt crazy. becuz for so long everybody told me i was trippin and i was crazy for believin like i do(in revolution) and being what i am ( a man) and even crazier for believin in *gasp* communism that when i read what George wrote i realized (even though deep down i knew) that i wasnt alone in my thoughts and actions i read Soledad Brother like at least once every three monthz and i immediately made it my bible and i would pick those two (blood in my eye and soledad brother) over those two (quran and bible) anyday i began to study more and more applicable revolutionary theory and i keep writing becuz i have to not becuz i want to if i didnt write id die (simple as that) and i (unintentionally) made momz cry when i told her that the struggle the people revolution means more to me than anyone or anything including myself and she just kinda silently wept maybe becuz her son(sun) was grown up or maybe becuz he (she thought) was somewhat detached from reality due to his condition or maybe becuz of the ease with which he looked her in the eye and said what he said or maybe becuz of the sheer determination and sincerity she saw in his eyez and heard in his voice and i declared (declare) in no(whatsoever) uncertain terms that i was no longer an amerikkkan citizen(and that i in fact never was and have no desire to be one) and that i was a world citizen a limpen a revolutionary and i had discovered Che Guevara and i remember my eyez watering (some people call it cryin i think my soul be bleeding) repeatedly as i read about and some of the thingz he did and some of the thingz he wrote and said becuz he was IT and if you cant understand that then well ill just leave that alone becuz this is really about how i became a productive citizen becuz now everything i do and say and write and think is geared toward building revolution and all my close associatez (i.e. comrades) are only as close to me as they are to the struggle and i am productive becuz i am a communist(commie bastard) a revolutionary and i will not stop building to produce that change(revolution) that would change the condition of 85% of the worlds population that is existing(not living) under the boot heel of imperialism exploitation oppression and i dont believe in rhetoric but i will let loose a vehement diatribe against amerikkka, brittain, germany, france, spain, japan, italy (or any other 1st world imperialist nerve center) in a minute(give or take a few) and i will use all of my abilities to fight this fuckin carnivorous ass beast nothin i do has any meaning outside of that i have become a productive but i do not produce a commodity dead labor capital or surplus value for capitalist bank accountz i produce freedom justice and equality revolution i produce gravez and warz (peoplez wars) and liberation strugglez i produce a change for the masses like the basic necessities of food clothing shelter education health care and the right to live no just survive yeah yeah im productive and this is still (yep, still) about how i became a productive citizen cuz i produce yea i produce i do produce i produce i am productivity a product producing productivity like revolution producing a society a productive revoloutionary society thats being productive and i am...
OK?
and this is about how i became a productive citizen becuz i remember when my relative gave me malcolm xs autobiography and i became ultra militant and used to memorize experptz from his speechez and tell my mama (who just happenz to be white) that white people were (are) intrinsically evil and only a few were able to fight that and niggaz called me the gangbangin muslim becuz i fell back into my old wayz but that militancy never left and i rememver when i wore my dashiki to school niggaz said i had on a dress and malcolm inspired me to stop fuckin with white girlz becuz they beneath me and then i moved to texas becuz wichita and i seemed to like trouble and this iz still about how i beame a productibve citizen becuz in the pen they try to degrade you they strip you butt-ass-dick-nut naked (even though before you got on the bus they did that same thing) and the women like it the most when they tell you to turn around and bend over and spread em (your ass cheekz that is) and a tall skinny nigga pulled me out and told me i wasnt gonna come down here and try to run his penitentiary was i (he had my gang file in front of him) and the white girl asked me the same thing when she saw the tattoo on my hand and i told her i got in to fight for my people and what about your family arent they your people too is what she asked and they try to make you feel less than human and be in constant fear when its 20 degrees (west texas winter) and theres ice on the ground and you look too strong or too full of pride or self confidence so they pull you outta line (you have to leave the building and go outside to get to the chowhall) and tell you too strip and youre already cold with two pair of socks and thermalz and clothez and a jacket on and when i saw them do that to a brother (who just let em) i told myself to prepare to go back to lockdown becuz aint no way i was gonna let em do me like that becuz i am a man and i know i would hate myself if i let those pigz just handle me however they pleased and i would much rather prefer them to hate me than for me to hate me becuz when im in solitary or ad. seg. or the hole or lockdown its only i and i not them and i and this is still how i became a productive citizen becuz it seems to me that these capitalist pigs go out of their way to make sure these plantations called prisons are built in backwood redneck perckerwood crackerville areas and bubba aint never had no contact with no city niggers but he just got a job down at the new plantation and now he can always be right and take out his anger on the niggers who took his pa job and drove him to drink and me i was just 17 and was an extremely atheistic thug who really didnt give a fuck about livin or dyin(and only didnt try suicide becuz thats a cowards way out) or nothin but my 2pac tapes my walkman and some good herb and a pack of newports or anybody until i saw the look in my lil brothas eyes and i went from the street to a little cell and that cell was either gonna make me a craven or a warrior becuz i had to sit in that cell for 2 yearz 23 1/2 hours a day and when i added it all up i spent only 310 hours out of that cell in the whole 14,880 hours i spent there and still i remember sittin on the end of the concrete slab that served as my bunk and huperventilating becuz i thought i was losing my mind and i didnt know it but i was becoming a productive citizen and i used to wrap my hands in towelz and punch the wallz until my knucklez were bloody tellin mama when she came and saw em and asked what was wrong had i been fightin that yeah i had been fighting the wallz up offa me whenever they started closin in on me and i remember askin myself if i was crazy then tellin me naw but then again maybe just maybebut then i wondered if i went crazy would i know i went crazy or would i be crazy thinkin i was just fine and that kinda fucked me up for a while until i realized it aint matter anyway becuz by societyz standards i was already crazy and i remember tellin the chaplain who came cell to cell on tuesdayz that i couldnt believe in god or jesus or none of that becuz even though i prayed and read the bible and did all the good thingz that a good christian was supposed to do i couldnt believe my heart was (is) immune to belief ( that kind anyway) so i finally said fuck god ill believe in something real that i can see build feel do (like revolution) and i must say THANK YOU to Sheikilya RoChandra Lewis becuz if it wasnt for her dedication and persistence and undying loyalty i would have gone crazy but she listened to my rantingz and ravingz and i remember when i met the brothaz who would become my comradez and how they used to tell me war storiez about san quentin and i could read 700 pages in 24 hours and my eyez started going bad becuz i was reading so much and my 1st poem (even though my letters to Sheikilya were poetry as well) was about how the devil (read: white man) lied about everything and then i started to study islam (again) which my homeboy big Al influenced but i always believed in revolution and when i went to another plantation i ready everything i could that wasnt fiction and i always knew (without knowing) that communist were good (maybe becuz the same people who called them bad called me bad) and i remember reading Soul On Ice and learning the word iconoclast and realizing that i was intransigently iconoclastic especially toward amerikkka and anything even remotely amerikkkan and oh this is still about how i became a productive citizen becuz i began to reading (and liking) philosophy (until i found applicable theory like Marx, Lenin and Mao) and when Sheikiliya went to college and stopped writing becuz i pushed her away with my reactionary and dogmatic viewz on islam i started keeping a journal but i can only write when i feel and the more history i read the more i hated amerikkka and felt solidarity with anyone even a little anti-amerikkkan and i used to carry a little picture of Fidel (yea, that Fidel) around with me and i was becoming a productive citizen and thatz what this is about becuz i got transferred to another plantation and i met Brownseed Shaheed M. Allah who became my enlightener and my mind started breakin the chainz and shacklez of religion as i bloomed into true revolutionary glory and realized (learned) that there aint no spook god up in the cloudz and that in the end everything must come from self and that (the Black) man is God (yes, with a big g and little g) and as i got deeper and deeper into my study i realized that communism also teachez against that same mystery spook (read: god) that muslimz and christianz and hinduz and catholicz and etc. etc. all say is up in heaven and dont forget that this is about how i became a productive citizen becuz the more i learned the more revolutionary i became becuz the more i saw that that was/is the only hope for the massez of people and i remember James one of my comradez in the county talkin about George Jackson and so i ordered Blood In My Eye as soon as i go the chance and it taught me more than any single book i read (and ive read hundreds) and now i call it my quran and then i read Soledad Brother and on phrase ran through my mind over and over and over again i knew i wasnt crazy. i knew i wasnt crazy. i knew i wasnt crazy. i knew i wasnt crazy. i knew i wasnt crazy. becuz for so long everybody told me i was trippin and i was crazy for believin like i do(in revolution) and being what i am ( a man) and even crazier for believin in *gasp* communism that when i read what George wrote i realized (even though deep down i knew) that i wasnt alone in my thoughts and actions i read Soledad Brother like at least once every three monthz and i immediately made it my bible and i would pick those two (blood in my eye and soledad brother) over those two (quran and bible) anyday i began to study more and more applicable revolutionary theory and i keep writing becuz i have to not becuz i want to if i didnt write id die (simple as that) and i (unintentionally) made momz cry when i told her that the struggle the people revolution means more to me than anyone or anything including myself and she just kinda silently wept maybe becuz her son(sun) was grown up or maybe becuz he (she thought) was somewhat detached from reality due to his condition or maybe becuz of the ease with which he looked her in the eye and said what he said or maybe becuz of the sheer determination and sincerity she saw in his eyez and heard in his voice and i declared (declare) in no(whatsoever) uncertain terms that i was no longer an amerikkkan citizen(and that i in fact never was and have no desire to be one) and that i was a world citizen a limpen a revolutionary and i had discovered Che Guevara and i remember my eyez watering (some people call it cryin i think my soul be bleeding) repeatedly as i read about and some of the thingz he did and some of the thingz he wrote and said becuz he was IT and if you cant understand that then well ill just leave that alone becuz this is really about how i became a productive citizen becuz now everything i do and say and write and think is geared toward building revolution and all my close associatez (i.e. comrades) are only as close to me as they are to the struggle and i am productive becuz i am a communist(commie bastard) a revolutionary and i will not stop building to produce that change(revolution) that would change the condition of 85% of the worlds population that is existing(not living) under the boot heel of imperialism exploitation oppression and i dont believe in rhetoric but i will let loose a vehement diatribe against amerikkka, brittain, germany, france, spain, japan, italy (or any other 1st world imperialist nerve center) in a minute(give or take a few) and i will use all of my abilities to fight this fuckin carnivorous ass beast nothin i do has any meaning outside of that i have become a productive but i do not produce a commodity dead labor capital or surplus value for capitalist bank accountz i produce freedom justice and equality revolution i produce gravez and warz (peoplez wars) and liberation strugglez i produce a change for the masses like the basic necessities of food clothing shelter education health care and the right to live no just survive yeah yeah im productive and this is still (yep, still) about how i became a productive citizen cuz i produce yea i produce i do produce i produce i am productivity a product producing productivity like revolution producing a society a productive revoloutionary society thats being productive and i am...
OK?