filled out a suicide girl application to be one of the girls help me out please

i know this really hard but im looking for a girl who knows how to have fun but be serious as well and knows how to listen and can tell u anything no matter wut it is and no matter if i would get upset or not. but im confused cause no matter how much you tell a person whats in your heart they never hear it no matter if it a women or a man anyways so am i ment to just leave everything i feel inside or what

you know it sucks that people keep saying that i dont care bout my son and that i dont take care of him all the time or rite whn i think i know wuts best for him and if they dont like then jump of my dick hes my son and i will take care of him my way no one else s way and then when you look at me and say im doing everything wrong it really hurts me since ive done everything for him and no one ever helped with him before now nad they want to tell me that im doing it all wrong and my husband has said the same thing but he never does anything with him unless he wants to. i just dont know wut to do should i just let everything go and just not let shit bother me or wut

feels like ive been taking advantage of by everyone around me and im getting tired of it
no one can do anything for themselves
everyone expects me to do everything
and the best i get out of it is
why cant you do it or
whats wrong with you doing it

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
that is for my husband i love him so much dont know what i would do if i didnt have in my life

is feeling down, one of those days when the past hurts me more than normal, and the ghosts just wont go away!

♥
if u try to relate to me
u will never be able to u will never be able to understand
how i feel either so please stop trying
no matter wut it is
no matter wut situation im in
no matter how hard it is
nothing will ever be the same
♥

god damn my family is starting to piss me off bout were i use to live